The Cowboy And The Debutante. Stella Bagwell
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Kneeling down near the edge of the pool, Anna trailed her fingers through the clear water. Just as she expected, it was still freezing. “I mean what I said earlier, Mother. I’m swearing off men. This last thing with Scott proved to me that they’re not to be trusted.”
She walked back over to where her mother sat stretched out on a chaise lounge, studying her with troubled eyes. “Believe me, Anna, I felt just as you did before I met your father. You haven’t forgotten that a man left me after we’d already planned to get married.”
Anna hadn’t forgotten the story Chloe had related to her years before. “I remember. You told him you couldn’t bear children and he ran out on you. How could you have wanted to marry a piece of scum like that?”
Chloe chuckled. “I could ask you the same thing about Scott? Why fret over someone who isn’t worth it?”
Sighing again, Anna lifted her eyes to the sky. The night was clear, and stars blazed by the millions over the mountains. Deep in her heart Anna was beginning to think this was where she really belonged, not in some civic center a thousand miles away.
“Believe me, Mother, Scott opened my eyes. If it wasn’t for seeing how much you and Daddy adore each other, I think I’d quit believing in love altogether.”
“Anna! You’re just angry now. Besides, what about your aunts, Rose and Justine? They’ve both had long, wonderful marriages. And now your cousins Emily and Charlie are both happily married.”
Chloe was right. Most of her relatives had been lucky in love. But her mother hadn’t mentioned Anna’s birth parents, Belinda and Tomas. The two of them had been terribly unlucky. In fact, Belinda had more or less died from a broken heart and so had Tomas. But Anna loved Chloe too much to bring up that painful part of their lives.
“Mother...I think it’s time I told you...I haven’t been totally honest with you and Dad.”
Chloe’s brow arched with surprise. “What do you mean? About you and Scott?” Before Anna could respond, the older woman’s mouth parted as another thought struck her. “Are you pregnant, darling? Is that why you’re not eating? If you’re worried—”
Anna quickly shook her head before her mother’s assumption got out of hand. “No. I’m not pregnant. Scott and I never... well, I guess deep down, something kept telling me not to sleep with him. But as for a baby, I would love to have a child. Just not by Scott. I’d at least want to respect the father.”
Chloe frowned with bewilderment. “If you’re not pregnant, then what—”
“I’m talking about me being so...so melancholy. I’m not grieving over my ended relationship with Scott. That’s all over and done with. I’m just overworked.”
The tense expression on Chloe’s face eased. “Of course you are, honey. That’s why you’re here on vacation. So you can rest and recuperate. And you will. You’ve only just gotten here. Give yourself time.”
Anna sighed. “I’m not so sure I want to go back, Mother. I’m not so sure I want to keep playing the piano professionally.”
Several moments passed in silence. Then, just as Anna was expecting her mother to burst out with shocked dismay, Chloe gentle smiled.
“Why haven’t you said anything about this before?”
“Because I didn’t want to upset you and Dad. I knew you would think I was losing my mind if I did.”
Chloe shook her head. “Anna, you must live your own life as you want to live it. Not as you think we want you to.”
Of course Anna should have expected her mother would say those words. And so would her father. They would hide their disappointment just to make their daughter happy.
“You would say that,” Anna mumbled.
“Since when have I or your father ever lied to you?”
Anna shook her head. “Not any time that I can ever remember. But I know how much you’ve always wanted my career to go forward.”
“And it has,” Chloe agreed. “You’ve been making a great salary, you’ve traveled all over the world and seen all sorts of sights. But if your job is making you unhappy...then you need to stop and ask yourself what it is you really want.”
Anna went over to her mother’s chair, knelt down at the arm and pressed her hand over her mother’s. “I have been, Mother. And I think I fell in with Scott’s plans to get married not so much because I loved him or even needed him, but because I wanted children and a home and I thought he could give those things to me.”
Chloe’s gentle smile was understanding. “And you want those things more than you want to travel and play the piano.”
Anna’s head bobbed up and down. “Does that sound crazy?”
Chloe laughed softly, then reached over and patted her daughter’s cheek. “If it does then I’ve been crazy for the past twenty-five years.”
She hadn’t really meant to blurt all of this out to her mother this evening, but she felt a bit better for it.
Rising to her feet, Anna said, “Well, it does sound crazy, actually. A woman needs a man to have a home and children. And since I don’t want a man in my life, I’ve got to turn my attention to other things.”
“What other things?”
Anna’s slender shoulders lifted then fell. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just throw myself back into the music and forget about the children and the white picket fence. Maybe after six weeks of rest I’ll be itching to perform again.” A wan smile tilted her lips. “In the meantime, I’m simply going to enjoy being home. It was such a pleasure to ride Ginger this afternoon. Just being with the horses again is therapeutic for me.”
“I’m glad.”
Her lips suddenly thinned to a smirk. “By the way, I met your new foreman earlier before I went out riding. I didn’t realize Lester had left.”
Chloe nodded. “Lester had reached retirement age and he and his wife wanted to do some traveling.”
Lester had been on the Bar M for twenty years. He was a bowlegged, raw-boned, pipe smoker who’d rarely shown the top of his bald head to anyone. He’d been more or less like a grandpa to Anna and Adam and their younger sister, Ivy. Miguel Chavez was nothing like Lester.
“Where did you find Mr. Chavez?”
“Your uncle Roy knew him. Miguel lived in Carrizozo for several years. Before that, Albuquerque, I think. What did you think of him?”
Anna had thought far too many things. In fact, she was still wondering why that idiotic thought about his mouth had ever entered her head.
“Well, I’m sure he’s a strong, capable man or you wouldn’t have him here.”
A knowing little smile on her face, Chloe said, “Miguel is a good man, but he doesn’t profess to know all that much about racehorses. He sees to the cattle end of things and makes sure the cowhands