room.
‘Do you know what you’re having?’ Valerie asked, and Beth shook her head.
‘I wanted it to be a surprise.’
And, at the oddest of moments, she and Elias shared a small smile.
It was certainly that.
Then she stopped smiling.
‘Another one’s coming,’ Beth said.
He heard her hum, and then she hummed louder and her thighs were shaking as she fought not to push.
And though Beth didn’t push, her uterus contracted and the head was out.
The cord was around the neck but only loosely and Elias slipped it over the little head.
‘Are you ready to meet your baby?’ Elias asked.
‘No,’ she answered, yet her hands were reaching out.
He watched as the baby’s little almond-shaped eyes opened and then the baby was delivered into his hands.
It was a little girl.
‘Hey, baby,’ he said, and Beth watched as he smiled and saw that there were tears in his eyes. She was so glad that her baby had been delivered with love.
Somehow, at the scariest, most petrifying time in her life, she felt safe.
He held the baby as Mandy clamped and cut the cord. She was blinking at the world and taking her first breath, startled. Her eyes screwed closed and then her mouth opened and she let out a small, shrill cry. As Mandy went to get the sterile sheet to take the baby from him, instead Elias passed her to Beth’s waiting hands.
That moment of contact with the baby had felt such a vital one that he wanted Beth to experience it as well, as he knew it would be a while before she got to hold her again.
The baby was vigorous and had started to cry as she was born but calmed as she met her mother.
‘A girl,’ Beth said, as her baby was passed to her, and she scooped her in.
The baby lay stunned on Beth’s chest like a shocked little bird recovering from a fright. The little eyes were open as she breathed in the scent of her mother and listened to the familiar sound of her heart.
Mandy put a blanket over the two of them and held oxygen near the baby’s face as Elias came over to do the initial assessment of the infant.
He could not afford to think of her as his so he pushed that aside as he checked the baby.
Her heart rate was rapid and her breathing was too and she was pink.
It was a moment.
Less than a moment that mother and baby shared.
Yet it was such a precious time. There was a beautiful time of calm and peace as she met her little girl.
‘Oh, baby,’ Beth sobbed, and she held her little daughter to her naked skin.
All the problems that had got her to this point just disappeared as she gazed at her baby and met her eyes.
‘We need to get her over to the cot,’ Elias said.
‘Let me hold her a little while longer.’
‘Beth, I need to check her.’
He could hear footsteps running towards them as he peeled back the blanket and lifted the baby off Beth. The baby cried in protest at the intrusion as he took her to the warmed cot.
‘How is she?’ Beth was calling out.
Her one-minute Apgar score was a seven, which, given how premature she was, was good. Her muscle tone was low but that was to be expected with a gestational age of twenty-nine weeks.
Elias handed over to the obstetrics team and watched as they set up their own equipment.
Mandy had dashed off again.
It was becoming increasingly noisy outside the cubicle but Elias couldn’t think about what was going on out there now.
He stared down at the little baby and with every passing minute she became increasingly exhausted, unlike the vigorous baby that had been delivered.
He could see that her nostrils were now flaring, which was a sign that she was having trouble getting enough oxygen, and her limbs were flaccid.
‘Elias...’ Mandy put her head around the curtain. ‘I need you.’
‘In a moment,’ Elias said.
‘I have a two-year-old convulsing...’
He just stared at the baby.
‘Elias,’ Mandy called loudly, on her way to Resus.
He looked over at Beth, who was being comforted by Valerie. A midwife was looking after her too but for a brief moment she glanced at him.
‘Elias!’
His name was called again and an emergency bell sounded and there was nothing he could do for his baby.
Even if he told them that she was his, he would just be asked to step aside.
And so he did what, as a doctor on duty, he had to do.
‘I’ll be back...’ he said to Beth, but she wasn’t looking at him now. She was in the third stage of labour and about to deliver the placenta while looking over anxiously at the crowd of experts around her baby.
His.
He allowed himself to acknowledge it then.
The baby was his.
ELIAS HAD GONE.
She could hear him being urgently summoned and understood that he had no choice but to leave.
Actually, no, Beth didn’t understand anything.
It was twelve twenty-nine and less than half an hour ago she had been standing in the street, wondering what to do.
Now she was a mother and no one could tell her how her baby was.
She heard the odd word.
‘Surfactant.’
‘Struggling.’
‘Grunting.’
‘CPAP.’
‘I want her on the Unit,’ someone said.
Beth lay back, shivering
