for men.
‘I’m sorry I don’t have your knack for drawing stories from people, and I don’t read Chinese,’ she said flatly.
‘And you’re too self-absorbed to wonder about anything outside yourself.’
‘That’s not true.’ The criticism stung. Was that how he had seen her at the end?
‘Isn’t it, Jayne?’ he retorted softly. ‘You didn’t even ask me how I was when you rang. You thought only of your needs.’
‘Monty’s needs. I was following his instructions,’ she pleaded, realising for the first time that Dan had been deeply offended by her avoidance of ordinary civilities.
‘You dealt with me as though I were a stranger.’
She couldn’t deny it, yet she had deliberately used her personal connection with him to convince Lin Zhiyong that Dan Drayton was hers for the asking! Jayne squirmed with shame. Dan was right. He deserved better from her. Much better. They had loved each other once, shared many happy times together. To excuse her lack of any personal exchange with him on the grounds that it was easier not to remember those happy times did not mitigate the offence given.
‘I’m sorry. I was upset. I didn’t know how you’d react to hearing from me and I…’ Her hands fluttered up in apologetic appeal. ‘…I just did my job, Dan.’
‘Your all-important job:’ His voice was a taunting lilt of irony. ‘Has it filled every hole in your life, Jayne? Are you content with what you have now?’
‘I get satisfaction from accomplishing things, meeting goals, seeing results. Is there something wrong with that?’ she challenged quietly, aware she was treading on very thin ice.
He made it crystal clear he was on a low tolerance level with her. It might very well be her attitude toward him that would tip the scales either for or against taking over the contract from Monty. When he made no reply, she asked, ‘What do you want from me, Dan?’
‘The same thing you want. Satisfaction.’ He turned his face back up to the moon. ‘Legend has it that the lady’s name was Chang Er. She was married to a tyrannical king. Did you find me a tyrannical husband, Jayne?’
‘No. You were never that.’
‘Chang Er was afraid for her people. Were you afraid of me?’
‘No.’
‘The tyrannical king came into possession of an elixir that would make him immortal. Chang Er realised his tyranny would go on and on forever. She saw only one escape from it. Why did you feel you had to escape from me, Jayne?’
‘I needed a different life to the one you were bent on pursuing, Dan.’
She saw his jaw tighten. After a few moments he went on with the story. ‘Chang Er wanted a different life, too. To rescue her people from the fate of being eternally yoked to such a king, she stole the elixir and drank it herself. The moment she had swallowed the last drop, she was transported to the moon where she lives to this day in total isolation.’
He paused, then softly added, ‘I wonder if she still believes immortality was worth what she ended up with. I wonder how much she feels the loneliness of the long nights. Do you have an answer for that, Jayne?’
‘She thought it was for the best and elected to pay whatever the price was. But the nights can be very long and very lonely,’ she acknowledged quietly, regretting the emotional scars she had left on him.
‘Do you think she would do the same again, knowing what her fate is now?’
‘Yes. It was a matter of survival.’
‘Perhaps it would have been an easier solution if she’d simply killed off the king. Wiped him out.’ He swung his gaze back to her, his eyes glittering with hard purpose. ‘That way she’d never have to see him, hear from him, or think of him again, and she could live as she pleased, free of any burdens he’d piled on her. Don’t you prefer that scenario?’
‘I think self-sacrifice makes for a better legend,’ she answered warily, realising that he was lashing out at her for having completely cut him out of her life as though he had never mattered.
The truth was, he had mattered too much. She had been afraid of weakening if she kept in touch with him, torn between the need for the intensely passionate feelings that had tied them together and the compulsion to find her own feet apart from him.
‘How much are you prepared to sacrifice in order to keep your precious job with Monty Castle, Jayne?’
So the gauntlet was down with a vengeance!
He wanted satisfaction.
The critical question was, what would satisfy him?
She could walk away from this job, just as she had walked away from him two years ago. That option was certainly open to her. But she didn’t want to take it. There was more at stake here than a job. She wasn’t sure she wanted to walk away from Dan again. Perhaps there was some other solution that she had been blind to in her desperation for a settled existence within an ambit she had some personal control over.
Her gaze slid down to the child, contentedly propped against his broad shoulder. Could she accept a baby that was his and not hers?
‘What is her name?’ she asked gruffly.
‘Baby.’
‘Not your pet name for her. Her Christian name.’
‘I never thought of any other name but Baby.’
‘For God’s sake, Dan! She has to have a proper name.’
‘What’s wrong with Baby? She likes it. She responds to it. I’m not going to confuse her by calling her something else.’
‘What about when she goes to school? Grows up? You can’t expect her to live with a name like Baby,’ Jayne cried in exasperation at his stubborn obtuseness.
‘The only nickname she can get is Babe. She’ll be fine.’
‘Only a man could think like that!’
‘So I’m a man. She hasn’t got a mother to give finer female consideration to a name.’
‘Any mother would be tossing around names while she was pregnant. You must know what her mother wanted,’ Jayne fired at him.
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