you think I know that?’ she cried angrily. ‘You don’t have to rub it in. I hate the way you and my father use her condition to force me to do what you want!’
‘I want to marry you,’ he said tightly. ‘That’s hardly the vile deed you seem to be suggesting by your tone. I’m sorry if I pressurised you. But do me a favour and don’t bracket me with your father in the same breath!’
‘You’re alike,’ she muttered and met his glittering eyes with defiance.
‘Not by one iota,’ he said savagely.
Her eyes reflected her mute contradiction. Both were big men, both were charmers who liked to get their own way. And, now that she had to tell him she wasn’t going back, what would he do? He was very physical—she knew that, from the way he’d run across Ballymare beach with her, while she perched on his shoulders. Strong, too; his hands had made light work of shifting Dan O’Connor’s heavy old boat. She quivered with nerves.
But they couldn’t begin married life with dark secrets between them. She loved him deeply and she didn’t want him to marry her because she was attached to a pile of money. She’d rather wait till he came to her of his own free will. Her legs trembled. She sought to hide that fact by twisting them around each other beneath the huge skirt.
‘I think you have something to tell me,’ she said in a weird little croak.
Trader froze. He’s guilty! she thought in dismay. Her hands began to shake visibly and she put the glass down, straining to interpret the expression on his bleak face.
‘I have? Like…what?’ he asked, non-committally.
‘Let’s start with why someone stopped our wedding ceremony!’ she said quietly. And added, ‘Or did that escape your notice?!’
‘Hardly,’ he said coldly. ‘Nor did your sarcasm. I don’t like your tone, Claire.’
Her eyes flashed. ‘And I don’t like your secrets!’ she cried hysterically. ‘Can’t you see what a state I’m in? Just tell me and put me out of my misery: what exactly is the reason we shouldn’t get married?’
Every stupid inch of her was screwed up in anticipation of his answer and she knew with a terrible despair that she was more than eager to believe any excuse he dreamed up. And how she’d loathe herself if she did! He had her heart and soul. It would be disastrous if he claimed her pride as well.
‘None. I’m not married, I’ve not been certified insane and I have all the parts a woman could want in a husband. And I don’t have any notifiable disease. OK?’
She flushed. ‘Don’t patronise me, Trader!’ she snapped.
‘I was trying to lighten you up,’ he grated. ‘You don’t have a lot of faith in me, do you? God help us both if something really serious comes to test us,’ he added thoughtfully. She glared but he went on, ‘There was no objection to our marriage. Poor Phoenix was being hassled by some guy, wanting her address. She got irritable and told him to wait.’
‘That’s all?! It—it sounds far-fetched,’ she said hesitantly.
‘It’s the truth!’ he insisted. ‘I was shaken too, Claire. I’ve been on edge ever since we parted yesterday afternoon. I haven’t slept, wondering whether you’d turn up this morning——’
‘Is there a reason I shouldn’t?’ she asked quickly.
He grimaced. ‘A thousand. Or so I persuaded myself.’ His mouth made a half-hearted attempt at a wry grin. ‘I’ve never felt so unsure of someone in my life. Or as uncertain of anything. It’s a new experience and I don’t like it.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I came here for a break in my hectic life, not to find a bride. I have things to do which don’t leave room for a steady relationship, let alone a wife. But…you can’t ignore opportunity, can you?’ he said with a rueful grin.
‘Maybe we both should,’ she said bitterly.
‘Look, I know I’ve pushed you for this marriage. But you know why.’
‘Yes,’ she said shakily. ‘I think I do.’
With a groan, he knelt at her feet and laid a firm hand on her knee. Its heat burned through the layers of petticoats, warming her frozen skin. But despite his apparently submissive position, she had the impression of being trapped. His strength, his faint air of menace, the piercing command of his eyes all added up to domination. And she wanted parity.
‘Thank God for that!’ He gave her a dazzling grin that lit up his face and, fool that she was, she immediately felt that he was the man she’d fallen in love with again. ‘Darling, all I want is to be with you,’ he said persuasively. ‘I know you feel the same. I don’t need anyone else. You’re my friend and always will be. Doesn’t that tell you we have something special, something unique?’
Claire’s thick fringe of lashes closed with the sweet memories. They’d been so happy walking hand in hand. Wandering in quiet companionship, needing nothing but each other. ‘Oh, Trader!’ she said tremulously, wishing, wishing for his love. ‘I do love you! I do, I do, I do! I want to spend the rest of my life with you because you make me feel complete! And then I start to think of reasons we shouldn’t be together, instead of listening to my blind instincts and——’
‘Then stop thinking!’ he ordered sternly. ‘It’s cracking us up! We need one another. It’s that simple. Let’s get married without any more of this damn fool talking!’
She sniffed as the tears of relief filled her huge, forest-green eyes. ‘If you love me, truly love me, I’ll marry you. I—I didn’t want to be hurt, you see. I feel horribly defenceless where you’re concerned and…my mother’s experience has made me protect myself,’ she sobbed, her body in convulsions of weeping.
And then Trader was peeling her fingers from his waist and gently holding her at arm’s length while she stood weeping in front of him.
‘I understand that,’ he said quietly. ‘It would be easy to hurt you. Once committed, you give your whole self in a relationship, holding nothing back. But you have to trust me. Say you will marry me now or I’ll have to walk out of your life for ever.’
‘That sounds like an ultimatum,’ she said slowly, knuckling away the tears in surprise.
‘It is. I’m not going through this again,’ he replied, his dark eyes steady on hers. ‘This could be our only chance of happiness. You see, darling, you’re in a unique position to change my life.’
The money would change his life, she thought sadly. He’d be rich instead of poor. ‘Trader——’ she began, but his finger stopped her lips.
‘If you doubt me, if you reject me now, I’m not hanging around for an encore.’ The words were cold and uncompromising. He stood back and gave her a little shake, fixing her with his glittering stare. ‘My father was a very proud man. So am I. It’s difficult for me to admit that I love you so much that you could destroy me. But I’m taking the risk because I think it’s worth it, you idiot! This is my final gamble,’ he growled. ‘Yes, or no?’
