was his wife, dammit.
His.
“The baby will only be more reason to stay away from me,” she said softly.
Jeff was finding it hard to believe that Erica had fallen for such an insensitive son of a bitch.
“It’s too late for him, Jeff.”
He listened while Erica gave him the horrifying account of two deaths—Jack Shaw’s wife and his baby daughter. Listened to her words, but heard how much Erica loved the other man. Heard the way her voice softened and knew that he was never going to instill that kind of love in her.
Heard and felt hope die.
And yet he knew she was probably right: It was too late for Jack.
“And even if there wasn’t all that to contend with,” she said, her mouth still only an inch from his, “there’s his job. There’s no way a man like Jack could risk his life every day if he knew he was leaving behind someone who needed him every bit as much as the person he was going to save—because when he goes to work there’s the possibility that he’ll have to offer his life in exchange for that of a hostage.
“The only way he can cope with Melissa and Courtney’s deaths is by spending his time preventing the same thing from happening to someone else. It makes their lives—and their deaths—count. They didn’t die in vain.”
Jefferson could understand that, too.
“So who has to know the baby isn’t mine? Other than you, I haven’t told anyone I’m sterile in over thirty years.” Jeff’s heart started to pound. Was he really considering fatherhood at his age?
Adrenaline pumped through him. He felt a new surge of life, excitement and anticipation.
Him. A father. It was a dream he’d given up forty years ago.
Erica sat up. Her gown had slipped, revealing more of her cleavage than she normally exposed. “I can’t let you do that, Jeff,” she said. “I love you too much to see you make such a sacrifice.”
She loved him.
The front of his tuxedo pants was fuller than when he’d zipped them up a few hours ago.
“What sacrifice?” he asked, thinking quickly. Desperately. He had a chance to keep the woman he loved.
He looked up at her. Her flawless skin, full lips. The honesty blazing from her beautiful eyes.
There was still a chance.
“All I’ve ever wanted was to be able to share your life with you,” he reminded her. “To be the one you came home to each night. To hear about your day, share in your triumphs. Be there to support you through the tough times. Hear you laugh. See the world through your eyes. So having the opportunity to be the father of your child—” he had to think of it as hers, only hers “—to share that rewarding experience with you is a bonus.”
Tears sprang to her eyes again. “Only you could put a positive spin on this,” she said, her lips breaking into a tremulous smile.
“The solution works,” he said, making sure his point hit home. “I get what I want—you. The baby gets what it deserves—a set of parents who will love and provide for it. You get the security and love you’ve always had here. Help with your baby. Friendship…”
With one hand, the nails perfectly manicured, Erica traced his lips. “You don’t have to sell me on what I get,” she said softly. “I’ve always known what a treasure I have in you. You’re the one who deserves so much more….”
Maybe. Sometimes he thought so. But he loved her.
“So, we’re having a baby?” he asked, making sure they’d sealed their bargain.
Erica, with marked hesitation, nodded. “On the condition that if you change your mind, you promise to let me know. I won’t have you tied down to this unless it’s what you truly want.”
He had no doubt about what he wanted.
And suddenly, no choice but to take it. Reaching up, sliding one hand around her neck, he pulled her lips to his, taking them in a kiss that was far more demanding than any he’d taken before. He filled her with his own taste, as though he could somehow wipe away the other man. Not only from her senses, but from her memory.
That night, Jefferson set out to seduce his wife. To have her even if she didn’t love him.
That night, the man who always put her welfare first was tired. He was a man who needed her, and Erica let him find his comfort in her body.
There are many kinds of love. That was his last coherent thought before he drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER FIVE
May 1997
JACK SHAW belonged to his job.
For better or worse.
Patience was his virtue. Staying cool under pressure his MO.
A woman—the mother—was crying. Getting hysterical. Jack refused to let himself hear her. She wanted him to do something.
She didn’t understand that timing was the key to survival. To her daughter’s survival.
He understood her, though. He knew exactly how she was feeling as she waited there in the balmy May sunshine. Helpless while her daughter’s life was held in the precarious hands of a maniac.
Marissa was only four, he’d been told. She was on campus as part of a child-care program.
Rubber-suited men in bullet-proof vests and gas masks surrounded the building. A team was working on the classroom ceiling; tubes with tiny lenses were being fed down through the air-conditioning vents so they could see inside the classroom on the television monitor set up in the van.
“Do you like dogs, James?” Jack asked. He’d been sitting on the cement outside a first-floor classroom window for half an hour. This was one tough talk-down.
“What’s it matter?” came the surly reply through the barely open window.
“I had a dog when I was kid. Damnedest thing, though. He was my best friend, and the biggest pain in my ass, too. Barking and getting me in trouble when I would’ve been able to sneak in past curfew undetected. Waking me up early to be put out on Saturday mornings, the only time I could sleep late.”
There was no sound from the classroom. Jack wanted to hear something—anything—from Marissa. Even crying.
He listened. But heard nothing. And so he sat, pretending he had all the time in the world.
Another high school. Arizona this time. Jack had been in Los Angeles visiting an old buddy from his time with the agency—and attending a movie premiere as the guest of a director he’d once rescued. Arizona authorities had been relieved he was so close.
Sometime over the years Jack’s specialty had become child negotiation.
