Megan said, but couldn’t suppress a smile.
“So you agree with me.”
“He wouldn’t have to wear a paper bag over his head in public,” she answered cautiously. “But that’s not what I meant. Every emergency is different, but patients’ reactions are similar. They want to know if they’re going to be all right or if the injuries are life-threatening. He did all that, but there was a subtext to his questions. As if he was hoping for the worst. As if he didn’t care whether he lived or died.”
“I don’t think he does. So he’s still being impossible?”
“How did you know that?” Megan was distracted, still shaken by his kiss. He was impossible all right—impossibly attractive and appealing.
“You just told me. Is your shift over?”
Megan shook her head. “I walked out.”
“But you’ve talked to me about dealing with difficult patients. To the best of my knowledge you’ve never given up on anyone. What happened?”
Janet’s approving words troubled Megan. How could she tell the woman he’d kissed her and she’d liked it and that’s why she couldn’t stay?
“Sooner or later I was bound to run into a patient I couldn’t manage. Simon was mine. He specifically asked for me, but—”
Janet reached out and gripped her arm. “He asked for you?”
“Yes. But I was crossed off the schedule because Bayleigh had an eye doctor appointment.”
“How’d it go?” Janet asked, concerned.
“Perfect.” A bubble of happiness expanded inside her then was promptly deflated by a pinprick of guilt. “Thanks to you and Marcus and excellent medical care.”
“I’m so glad. She’s a dear child.” Her lips compressed as she nodded. “Now tell me more about Simon.”
“There’s not much to tell. He signed himself out last night against medical advice, but apparently thought better of it this morning because he called the agency to send over a nurse. Then he sent her packing and said they’d better get me. So here I am. Or was,” she said ruefully. “I finally had to wave the white flag.”
“Why? Does Simon know Bayleigh is the recipient of Marcus’s corneas?”
“No. Until you just told me, I had no idea.”
“Then I don’t understand why you left him. I can’t believe sarcasm sent you running. You’re made of sterner stuff.”
“It wasn’t that.” Megan twisted her fingers together in her lap. “He kissed me,” she blurted out. Janet stared at her, stunned, and she hastened to add, “It’s only because he was trying to get rid of me.”
“Oh, Megan, that’s wonderful.”
“That he got rid of me?”
“Of course not.” Janet clasped her hands together. “My goodness, this is his first hopeful sign since Marcus died. You have to go back in there.”
Megan shook her head. “He deliberately drove me away.”
“He’s recuperating. He needs you. He needs help.”
“I know that and you know that, but I don’t think he got the memo. It might be best for him to suffer a bit and call the agency to send out another nurse.”
“Oh, Megan, don’t you see? He asked for you specifically. It’s the first time since Marcus died that he’s reached out at all. I thought his behavior more rude than necessary. It proves you got to him, and he doesn’t like it one bit. You can’t turn away now. You have to go back. It’s fate, an unexplainable coincidence that brought the two of you together.”
Her friend, and she did consider Janet a friend, stopped short of saying she owed Simon. But the thought was there between them like the proverbial elephant on the table. And she was right. Megan and Bayleigh owed Simon Reynolds more than they could ever repay. How could she turn her back?
But that kiss. How could she forget?
Megan figured she would just have to find a way. She sighed. “When you’re right, you’re right. I do have to go back.”
“That’s the spirit. Hippocratic oath, spread comfort, save lives and all that. Florence Nightingale had nothing on you.”
“It’s not that, although my nurse’s training will come in handy. He didn’t want to meet with me two years ago, but he can’t run away this time. At least he can’t get very far very fast on those crutches. I finally have an opportunity to thank him.”
“No.” Janet gripped her arm. “You mustn’t say anything.”
“Why not?”
“He’s been shut down for two years, and I was beginning to think nothing and no one could get through to him. I tried being kind, then blunt and finally brutal. He lashes out and hurts back. That’s why I left earlier. And I swore to him I wasn’t giving up.” She squeezed Megan’s arm. “But I was starting to and that’s one reason I came back. For some reason he connected with you.”
“But he was married to your daughter. Doesn’t it bother you?”
“He’s been good to me.” The other woman shook her head. “He’s a good man in spite of the fact he was wrong for my daughter. But if you tell him your daughter has Marcus’s corneas, he’ll shut down again.”
“Maybe he won’t. Maybe he’s ready to deal with it.”
“Don’t ask me how I know. Maybe another informed gut instinct. But I just know if you tell him now that your daughter has Marcus’s corneas, he’ll give up. If that happens, I’m terribly afraid—” Janet’s brown eyes clouded with uncertainty.
“But if I go back in there and don’t say anything, it will be a lie. I hate lies.”
“I know you believe in being straightforward, and I love that about you. But sometimes brutal honesty isn’t the best policy. I agree deception is wrong—in most cases. But not this time. It’s been two years. His behavior really worries me, Megan. If he doesn’t open up soon, I’m not sure he ever will.”
“But how will keeping this secret help him?”
“In two years he hasn’t let anyone in—not even me. And we share the same loss. I’m afraid you’re his last chance. I think you can help him. And you’ve got some time. He can’t run, and he can only hide if you let him or push him over the edge with information he’s not quite ready for.”
If only he hadn’t kissed me, Megan thought. But if he hadn’t, she wouldn’t have walked out. Janet would have arrived and the truth would have come out right in front of him. How she wished that was the way it had gone down. Then she wouldn’t be in this pickle. Between a rock and a hard place. She couldn’t leave, and she couldn’t lie.
“Okay, Janet. I’ll go back. But I don’t think I can
