Lisbet knew it all, but she wasn’t going to have everyone on the set raking over her ancient affair with Jaf if she could help it.
“A rodeo would be just the place for him. The wonder is why he ever left,” she said. She got to her feet and checked herself in the mirror. She was wearing a knee-length tunic top over pants, all in a soft knitted oatmeal silk, a few shades darker than her hair.
“You’ve got to be joking!” The dresser was unstoppable now. “The man oozes sensuality. He reminds me of those old French movie stars. Belmondo. Delon. Je t’aime, moi non plus. Ooooh.” Tina picked up the matching calf-length silk coat and held it as Lisbet slipped her arms into the sleeves. “I wish it were me he was after. Yum!”
“He is not after me!” Lisbet said irritably. She shrugged into the coat and reached for her evening bag. Tina’s litany was only making her more nervous. She wondered why she had capitulated to his ridiculous ultimatum. She should have realized he couldn’t make it stick.
Maybe she just couldn’t resist seeing him one more time.
“Silly me, I thought he was,” Tina corrected herself in a tone of extreme irony. “He was just warning you off his land, then, was he? Did you know he owns the whole stretch of beach along here?” she added in parentheses. “We’re on his land.”
Lisbet concentrated on her reflection. Her leather sandals and handbag matched the oatmeal silk, and her long hair was held back with a tiny braided ribbon of the same colour. She had chosen the outfit carefully, for its cool, undramatic elegance. It was the furthest thing from deliberately sexy, she told herself, that you could find.
Her earrings were thin squares of beaten gold. With them she wore a gold chain necklace…and on the third finger of her left hand, a large pearl ring.
“You look fabulous!” Tina said, hoping her tone disguised her faint disappointment. She began unnecessarily brushing Lisbet down, and tweaked a fold of her coat. She wished Lisbet had left her hair loose or worn a touch of colour. Anyone would think she was deliberately dressing her warm sexuality down, but Tina couldn’t believe anyone would act in such a stupid and self-defeating way.
It must be nerves. Because Lisbet, as her dresser had quickly learned, had a craftsman’s eye for what suited her. She could always add just that personal touch to a costume that made it her own, giving it a flair the camera loved. That was Tina’s yardstick for what made a star.
But as the actress moved to the door Tina blinked and took a second look. Maybe Lisbet knew what she was doing after all. She supposed Arabs were as susceptible to the Ice Maiden myth as other men, and the hinting motion of Lisbet’s body under that silk might just drive a guy wild.
At first she had given herself up to the passion that consumed them.
They had a devastating, emotionally tormenting, crazily passionate time together. Like nothing she had ever experienced. Sometimes she felt drunk, so drunk she was reeling. Sometimes she felt that Jaf had her heart in his hand. A word, a look, had a power over her that was completely outside her previous experience.
It frightened her. Not just his possessiveness, but her own response to it. And she had plenty of reason to fear having her life taken over.
It touched Lisbet on an old but ever tender wound.
It had been out of motives of love that her father had deliberately got her mother pregnant, in order to put an end to her promised stage career and keep her with him.
That had been a long time ago, when the morality of the swinging sixties hadn’t quite reached the small Welsh mining village where the young lovers lived. Gillian Raine had won a place at drama school and was waiting for the summer to end before leaving for London and another life. Her lover, Edward MacArthur, had already done what every man in the village did—he had started work down the coal mines.
The cautionary tale of her mother’s murdered dreams had been burned into Lisbet from a child. How he had pleaded with her to stay home and marry him. How she had had to give in when she learned she was pregnant… Never give up your dreams, girls, her mother had warned them.
As they grew into teenagers, the story became clearer. Then Gillian told her daughters how that life-changing pregnancy had occurred. Told them of the fateful night when Edward had asked her to turn her back on drama college, stay at home and marry him….
Gillian had resisted all Edward’s pleading and, when he knew he had lost the argument, he began to kiss her.
Her daughters, educated in the new model of the world, had asked breathlessly, “Did Dad date rape you, Mama?”
She had laughed impatiently. “No, no, don’t you see what I’m trying to tell you? He was such a lover, your father, he just—girls, he just kissed me till…” She sighed. “Always before we’d used protection. That night he had none. But he was so passionate. I forgot everything, I wanted him and I didn’t care. A few weeks later I cared, right enough. When I told him I was pregnant I saw that he’d meant to do it.”
She had given up her dreams, married her lover, settled down to the grind of life as a miner’s wife and produced a string of children.
And never ceased to regret the life she might have had.
Lisbet had listened closely to the terrible warnings. She didn’t want a life like her mother’s. Always regretting what she hadn’t done. If it hadn’t been for you lot, that would be me up there, she would say when they sat around the television watching the latest costume drama.
Still, life had been more or less happy before the closure of the mines. Until then her father had come home at night exhausted and black with coal dust, maybe, but he was a man who held up his head. A man who made his wife smile with secret anticipation over the dinner table when he gave her burning looks out of those dark Celtic eyes.
Lisbet was just approaching her teens when the great miners’ strike was called, the prime minister infamously sent in the mounted strikebreakers, and an era came to an end. When the dust and blood cleared, the coal mines were finished, and so was Lisbet’s father.
More than his mine was gone, more than his job. His faith in British justice and fair play, and much else besides, was destroyed. His vision of himself had been shattered.
He had never worked again, except for casual labour here and there. It was his wife who went to work now, an even deeper shame for a man like him. Gillian worked in the little fish and chip shop, practically the only enterprise that survived the economic disaster that had engulfed the village, and came home smelling of cigarette smoke and half-rancid cooking fat, her hair lank and her once-beautiful face shiny with grease.
Her husband had hated the fact that his wife now had to work, without having the will to get up and change his life. He was a failure in the first source of pride he had, and it unmanned him completely. He began to drink.
The only bright side had been that there were no mines now for Lisbet’s brothers to go down. Their choice was different—join the ranks of the unemployed, or leave their village.
The MacArthurs were all bright. They had all gone on to higher education, in those days when, thank God, students from poor backgrounds were still being given full study grants. They had all worked hard, done well, gone on to good jobs.
Lisbet was always the special one. Lisbet, inheriting
