for his vanishing act. When it was immediately obvious the first option was moot, and the second was highly doubtful—this was not someone who sounded as if a gun was being held to his head—that left me with Door Number Three. Which wasn’t looking promising, either.
“…I know you’re probably angry—okay, extremely angry.”
Yeah, okay, I’d been that a time or two in the past forty-eight hours.
“…and you have every right to be. What I did was unforgivable, and if I live to be a hundred, I’ll never completely understand why I bolted like that. No, no…that’s not entirely true. I guess I…um…panicked. About us, about getting married, about the way you’d set me up on some sort of pedestal—”
I choke on my cake.
“—and I realized I hadn’t taken the time I needed to think this through…”
By that point, my ire was beginning to perk quite nicely. I mean, hey—there was some reason why he couldn’t have arrived at this conclusion before I spent my entire life’s savings on food that nobody ever got to eat?
And what is this I set him up on some sort of pedestal crap?
“…I mean, I really didn’t see this coming, so I don’t want you to think this was all a game or anything like that. But…God, Ginge, I’m slime.”
No argument there.
“…my main regret is that I didn’t realize how I felt until I was getting ready to leave the house on Saturday. I guess I’d just gotten so caught up in…everything, I didn’t take five minutes to ask myself if I was really ready for this…”
The man is thirty-five frickin’ years old, for God’s sake. When did he think he would be ready?
“…I mean, the sex was great, wasn’t it?”
I looked over at my coffee table and sighed.
“…and who knew my parents would file a missing person’s report, for chrissake? I mean, I hope that didn’t cause you any more distress…”
Oh, no. Not at all.
“…and I hope maybe one day, we can be friends again, although I’ll completely understand if you hate my guts.”
You think?
“…anyway, I’ll settle up with Blockbuster sometime this week—”
Which answered that question. Still haven’t found that sucker, by the way.
“—if you wouldn’t mind dropping off the flick when you’re out? And I guess maybe we should arrange for you to get your things, whenever it’s convenient? Maybe you could call Mom. I mean, that would probably be easier, don’t you think?”
Hence the Scarsdale pilgrimage.
“Oh, and listen…” I heard what could pass for a heartfelt sigh. “I didn’t mean for you to get saddled with all the bills, I swear. Please, send them on to the office, okay? I promise I’ll take care of them. Well.” Throat clearing sounds. “I guess…well. ’Bye. And, Ginge?”
“What?” I snapped at the hapless machine.
“This has nothing to do with you, okay? I mean it. You’re really terrific. God, I’m sorry.”
You got that right.
After fast forwarding through the rest of the messages, all from my mother, I glanced down at the cake to discover I’d somehow eaten half of it. Not that this was really any big deal since—don’t hate me—I can eat anything I want and never gain weight (although I have a sneaking suspicion all those calories are lying around my body like a bunch of microscopic air mattresses set to inflate on my fortieth birthday). But it was all sitting at the base of my throat when I started to cry—a sobbing-so-hard-I-can’t-catch-my-breath jag that, combined with the cake residue in my mouth, made me choke so badly I thought my brain was going to explode.
Five minutes later, reduced to a limp, shuddering, sweating rag, I came to the disheartening conclusion that although eviceration with a dull knife would have been preferable to what I was feeling at that moment, I still loved the scumbag. Nearly a week later, I still feel that way. I mean, why else would I have put away a dozen bags of Chee
Well. Anyway. I sat, still shoveling in cake and letting my emotions buffet me when the phone rang, making me jump out of my skin because I’d pushed the ringer too high. Too stunned to remember I wasn’t supposed to be answering, I picked up.
“Hey, Ginger? It’s Nick.”
Bet you saw that coming, didn’t you?
I, however, didn’t. And I thought, oh, yeah, like this is really going to make me feel better. I rammed my hand through my hair, only my engagement ring got caught in a snarl, which made me wince, which launched me into another coughing fit.
Nick asked if I was okay, but of course I couldn’t reply because I was choking to death. “Hang on,” I croaked into the phone, then lurched toward the sink, gulped down a half glass of tepid water since I’d run out of bottled. Yech.
A minute later, I picked up the phone and got out, “Guess who I just heard from?”
“I know,” Nick said. “I just got word. Munson’s fine.”
He almost sounded disappointed.
Bet Nick wouldn’t just walk away like that, I thought, only to remember that’s exactly what he’d done.
My gaze drifted to my left hand and the engagement ring the size of Queens I’d worn proudly since Valentine’s Day. Two carats, emerald cut, platinum setting. Hell, for this puppy, I’d even let my nails grow out.
I haven’t decided what to do with that, either.
But back to the phone call.
“Yeah,” I said. “Great news, huh?”
“Damn,” Nick said softly. Like it wasn’t a swear word, somehow. “What happened?”
Much to my chagrin, tears again stung my eyes. “He left a message on my answering machine. My answering machine.”
“You’re kidding me? Man, that is so lame,” Nick said, and anger tried to suck me back in. And it would have felt good, I suppose, to have just gone with the flow for a minute. But then I reminded myself of the conscious choice I made as a child, not to let my emotions control me, to make decisions based on reason and logic, not on passion and impulse.
That I am not my mother.
And at that moment tranquility rippled through me. Or it might have been a breeze
