condition of my inheriting was that I retain the services of the existing butler for at least five years from the date of probate being granted...unless said butler voluntarily relinquished her duties.’
Vanessa’s eyes and mouth rounded in astonishment at the revelation. Then a rush of anger flushed her system and her mouth snapped. ‘But that first day—you threatened to get rid of me because I was a woman!’
‘Untrue. I simply suggested that you would not find me as congenial as the judge to work for, and that you would be happier elsewhere. And I think that “girl” might have been the word I actually used...’
‘Suggested nothing! You were deliberately insulting,’ Vanessa remembered bitterly. ‘You implied I couldn’t do the job because of my sex. You implied that I only had it because I had some kind of hold over a senile old man. The judge wasn’t senile and you knew it—the lawyer must have been perfectly clear about the validity of that will. You were trying to get me to quit!’ she realised explosively. ‘Well, I’m glad I refused!’
Not for the world would she tell him that it was cowardice that had held her back, not a determination to prove him wrong. Not even his slimy allegations could winkle her out of the safe little burrow she had dug for herself. Whitefield needed her and she needed Whitefield. Here she was known only by her name and her job, and not by her reputation.
‘And I wasn’t a girl, either!’ she finished angrily, determined to deny him on all counts. ‘I was twenty, and I’ve always been very mature for my age.’ It was what had been her downfall—her air of calm self-sufficiency combined with a body that, Everest-like, was a challenge to a particular kind of man simply because it was so majestically there. Such splendid isolation had cried out to be conquered...
‘You looked like one to me—a big, gangly girl, slow as a wet week, with a surly black adolescent glower and a habit of looking down your nose at me as if I were a lower form of life. No wonder I didn’t want to have you foisted upon me!’
She immediately felt thick and ungainly, all elbows and knees, the way she used to feel as an wildly overgrown teenager. It was a long time since anyone had made her so clumsily self-aware and she didn’t like it. Not at all. Unknowingly she gave him the same filthy black look that she had given him back then.
‘When you’re my size you can’t flit about like a humming bird,’ she gritted. ‘If I move carefully it’s because I have to calculate clearances that other women take for granted. I doubt if you’d want me blundering about among all these antiques. I’m not, and have never been, slow. Speed is not necessarily an indication of efficiency, you know. In time-and-motion terms, my way is a lot more energy-efficient than if I was rushing about creating a lot of hustle and bustle over tasks that can be performed simply and without fuss!’
If he recognised his favourite phrase being lobbed back in his face, he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, her vehement lecture appeared to amuse him. She made a tentative move around him and he shifted his weight, blocking her path with the mere threat of further movement.
‘Mm, so I very quickly discovered. Why do you think I didn’t persist in my efforts to get rid of you? You don’t appear to exert yourself unduly and yet the work is always done and this house always runs like a well-oiled machine...’ If only he had seen her flying up the stairs that morning. Talk about exerting herself unduly! ‘If you had been other than supremely capable I’d never have left the supervision of the restorations in your hands. You’ve never violated that trust. I wasn’t criticising you just now, I was simply telling you what my first impressions of you were.’
‘Thank you, but I could have done without knowing,’ said Vanessa acidly, thinking that his trust would be summarily withdrawn if he knew the truth about her...not merely about last night but the whole ugly mess that had prompted the judge’s job offer and her ignominious flight from England.
She wondered what his reaction would be if she blurted it all out now. He would probably run the full gauntlet: shock, horror, distaste. She had seen it all before, from people far less fastidious than Benedict Savage, people who were supposed to have been her friends.
‘I thought it time to get it out in the open—so that I might begin to feel less like an interloper here.’
‘Interloper?’ Vanessa’s impatience got the better of her. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she told her employer. ‘The house belongs to you; you can’t be an interloper in your own home.’
A grim smile twitched his hard cheek. ‘Can’t you?’ His voice lifted from a barely audible irony to that familiar ironic crispness. ‘But then, this isn’t really my home, is it? If one counts a home as a family dwelling, or a residence one has a sentimental attachment to through regular use, I suppose you could call me effectively homeless. I don’t think I’ve spent more than a month at a time at the same address in the last five years.’
The faintly wistful self-derision in his words gave Vanessa a pang but she caught herself before she started feeling too sorry for him. The man was a millionaire for goodness’ sake; he had everything he could possibly want and he had the nerve to complain because his life wasn’t perfect! There were people in the world—in this country—who lived in cardboard cartons, or worse, and here he was complaining about having too many homes!
‘How absolutely frightful for you,’ she replied with a crispness that brought his head up with a jerk. ‘Jobless and homeless. No wonder you’re depressed. If I were you I’d be suicidal.’
‘If you were me you wouldn’t be having the problems I’m having,’ he said cryptically, after a tiny pause and an all-encompassing look that made her extremely nervous. ‘And I can’t envisage you ever taking the easy way out of your problems. You’re the type to go down with all guns blazing.’
‘I don’t approve of firearms,’ she said primly, disturbed by the accuracy of his reading of her character.
‘We have something in common, then...other than sharing possession of this house. That is what we do, isn’t it, legal ownership not withstanding? You’re the one who really makes a home of this house; you’re the one who brings it to daily life, who imprints it with personality...’
Vanessa was aghast at the thought that her possessiveness about the house might be the object of amused speculation to others. It was her secret, her little piece of foolish whimsy. Her eyes were stony as she denied her weakness. ‘I enjoy seeing the house restored to some of its former glory but I’m the caretaker, that’s all. I’m just carrying out your orders.’
‘Since I’m hardly ever here to issue them that statement is highly debatable.’
Her eagerness to preserve the state of armed neutrality between them that had made it so easy to treat him as a cypher instead of a human being made her quick to sense criticism.
‘If you’re not satisfied with my work—’
‘I never said that. On the contrary, I’m delighted with the high standards you’ve maintained in trying circumstances. The restorations are turning out even better than I envisaged. After you’ve finished your bed-making I’ll get you to give me a tour to show me the progress...’
Although bringing him up to date with the work carried out in his absence was a familiar duty that she usually tackled with quiet pride, the thought of spending more time alone in his company while her nerves were still in such a jittery state made Vanessa quail. Fortunately she had a ready excuse at hand.
‘I’ve
