and be examined rather feeble, childish even, and Ciro seemed to sense the change in her.
‘How do you feel now that you have vomited?’
Which wasn’t exactly the sweetest line to deliver a woman, but Harriet knew that his medical brain meant well.
‘A bit better.’
‘Good! Then rest and I’ll be back shortly.’
She gave a reluctant nod. ‘How are Alyssa’s results?’ She knew, just knew, he was about to shake his head and tell her that it was no longer her problem, so Harriet added quickly, ‘I really would like to know.’
‘Her potassium is dangerously low, as is her albumin, her renal function is decreased, she’s extremely malnourished, which is why she has the peripheral oedema. I’ve spoken with Pathology and it would seem those vitamins that Mrs Harrison’s been giving to her daughter are, in fact, diuretics, which of course are used to get rid of oedema, but that’s the trouble with self-prescribing…’ He gave her a tight smile as Harriet blushed. ‘As you know, some diuretics need to be taken with a potassium supplement. Instead, Alyssa’s potassium has dropped so low she is in danger of having a serious cardiac arrhythmia and possibly a cardiac arrest. I’ll let you know how it goes when you’re feeling a bit better.’
‘Thank you.’
It was horrible, horrible, horrible being on the other side of the curtain. Horrible lying in a flimsy gown with the ties missing, on a hard trolley. Horrible having a probe stuck in your ear and your blood pressure taken, but that didn’t even begin to compare to the humiliation of lying back and closing one’s eyes while someone as divine and toned and clearly fit as Ciro told you to stop trying to hold in your stomach so that he could examine you properly.
She didn’t even want to think about the sensible knickers she was wearing, supposedly safe in the knowledge she had been going to work.
‘Tender?’ Ciro asked as Harriet gave a stifled moan.
‘A bit.’
‘And here?’
‘No.’
‘Hmm.’
The dreaded ‘hmm’—the sound doctors worldwide made as they broached a tentative diagnosis.
‘You are tender in the right iliac fossa. I think it could be appendicitis or possibly an ectopic pregnancy.’
‘I’m not pregnant.’
‘Do you have your period?’
‘No,’ Harriet croaked.
‘So when is it due?’
‘Soon.’ Blushing to the roots of her hair, she tried to focus on dates to respond to this necessary but excruciatingly embarrassing question in as matter-of-fact a way as she could muster. ‘Actually, it was due a couple of days ago but—’
‘Hmm.’
‘I’m not pregnant.’ Meeting his doubtful eyes, Harriet shook her head firmly on the pillow. ‘I’m definitely not pregnant.’
‘You are on the Pill?’
Harriet gave a small nod, hoping that would be enough to mollify him but knowing that it was futile.
‘The Pill isn’t always a hundred per cent effective.’
‘I’m just not pregnant, OK?’ Wrenching the beastly gown down over her stomach, she prayed for her blush to fade, prayed for this interrogation to end. ‘So I haven’t got an ectopic pregnancy and neither do I have appendicitis. I just want to go home to my own bed—’
‘Harriet, I know that this is embarrassing for you.’ Perching himself on the trolley, he took her hand, the touch so unexpected, so surprisingly tender she felt tears prick her eyes, his glimpse of kindness providing no balm, more a sharp sting to her bruised emotions. ‘It is always awkward when staff are ill, but the fact is you have not looked well since you first came on duty and you are getting progressively worse. It clearly needs to be dealt with. Now, as uncomfortable as these questions are, they have to be asked. In a young woman, with abdominal tenderness, vomiting and a late period, it would be criminally negligent of me not to consider that it could be a ruptured ectopic pregnancy. So can you tell me why I should rule out that diagnosis? Are you unable to conceive, is there anything in your medical history…?’
And she didn’t want to voice it, didn’t want to admit it even to herself let alone anyone else, but knowing the truth was needed, drawing strength from the kind eyes that stared in concern, the warmth from the hand holding hers, Harriet let go of the horrible truth she had held in so tightly for so long now, admitted, perhaps for the first time, the hopelessness of her own situation.
‘I’m using the only completely reliable form of contraception.’ Swallowing hard, she forced herself to say it, to just get this the hell over with. ‘Abstinence! I can’t be pregnant because I’m not sleeping with my husband.’ She saw the flicker of confusion in his eyes, second-guessed what was coming next. ‘We haven’t slept together for months now, not since Drew got this job and we moved to Sydney. So, you see, I couldn’t possibly be…’ Tears that had been held back for so long were now finally trying to come forth and holding them in hurt her ribs almost as much as the pain in her stomach did.
‘You are allowed to cry, Harriet.’
‘No, Ciro, I’m not.’
‘You don’t have to hold it all in,’ Ciro insisted.
But she did.
Had for so long now it came as second nature.
‘When David decided his name should be changed to Drew I had to grin and bear it,’ Harriet snarled. ‘And when Drew needs a pair of designer jeans for an audition I just work an extra shift, when he misses out on a part that should have been his I’m the one who has to deliver a pep talk…’ The floodgates were opening now, years of suppressed anger bubbling to the fore, and she didn’t care. For the first time in her entire adult life, Harriet couldn’t give a damn about someone else’s feelings. She blurted out her anger and frustration because it helped and, she decided, choking through her vented fury, he didn’t have a clue what she was going on about. Her rapid spate of furious words was way too fast for him to understand.
All he had to do was hold her hand—which he was.
Nod at her very occasional pauses—which he did.
And give an occasional sympathetic murmur when her voice shrilled—rather regularly.
And through it all he didn’t say a word, didn’t attempt to say he understood as Harriet ranted on. ‘Since he got this bloody job, I’m not good enough,’ Harriet raged. ‘Not thin enough, or demure enough, not quite the happening young metrosexual’s partner.’ She registered his frown.
‘He is gay?’ Ciro finally spoke.
‘No.’ Somehow Harriet managed a strangled gurgle of laughter. ‘Metrosexual, it’s the buzz word for today’s kind of man. A man who doesn’t mind admitting he takes care of himself.’
His
