out at a pillow was like punching a pillow. And poor Myrtle tried, but no matter how she rushed at Annie it was a little like swatting a gnat.
When he stood close, trembles of fear started inside her. Or something. It was not the same as Myrtle, who Annie feared she’d injure, or the pillow, which slept through the attack.
Goodness, he took his time.
Her mind stopped thinking of how long he’d taken when he strode into the room.
He hadn’t put on a waistcoat. He hadn’t tied a cravat at the neck of his shirt. He was bare—naked under his clothing—just like he’d been in the bedchamber.
It hadn’t seemed so wrong when she’d been the one trespassing. But for him to walk about in an area where anyone might see him... That little triangle at the top of his shirt, for instance, where the shadow made a V. That was frightful—frightfully fascinating.
She stood, the movement making her feel bigger and not quite so overpowered as she was in the chair.
She put her hands behind her back and clenched them into the fists he’d been talking about before, but she didn’t care whether the thumbs were on the inside or outside, just that her hands were secured.
He kept getting taller and broader in her eyes and that wasn’t possible. Her eyes told her his head didn’t touch the ceiling and he walked through the door frame easily enough, but still, he did seem bigger. Perhaps it was the darkness in his eyes.
She really should search out an undernourished footman to help practise her defence. That might be much—less daunting.
‘You took a bit of time to get here,’ she said, covering the lump in her throat with strength in her words.
‘I was hoping you’d tire of waiting and leave.’ His voice reverberated into the room. He looked past her and then at the floor, a small negative movement in his head. He had two pillows clasped in one hand. She didn’t know how she’d missed seeing those before.
He tossed the pillows on to the chair and one tumbled to the rug.
Whip-fast, he stood in front of her, hardly giving her legs any room between the chair and him.
He leaned closer, bringing the scent of a rosewater shaving soap so close she would never think of roses as delicate again. She could almost see the reflection of the thorns in his eyes. He moved closer and she had to tilt her head all the way back.
‘The first rule. The rule that is hard and fast—’
She’d read about pirates, but they’d all been worlds away. This man was in front of her and she didn’t quite know which direction to step. He surrounded her. And she couldn’t even see the V in his shirt and he wasn’t touching her, but her body didn’t know that. When she breathed in it seemed to pull him closer and closer, but he couldn’t actually be moving against her. His eyes held her in a vice.
The strength left her body, but she couldn’t fall back into the chair. His hand snaked around her and rested against the small of her back, trapping her upright. Lightning moved through her body and the sensations of his hand seared into her back.
‘The rule is to never, ever, put yourself in a position without thinking about whether it could be dangerous to you. Such as this one.’
‘This shouldn’t be dangerous.’ She croaked out the words. ‘You’re in my father’s house.’
‘You cannot depend on a father, a husband or a brother to protect you.’ His words were so close they no longer fanned against her cheek, but the air moved from his lips to hers. ‘They may avenge you, but by then, you can’t undo anything. You can only learn to live with it.’
‘If you wish to scare me, you are.’ But no matter how scared she was, she was going to make her own way.
‘I wish to terrify you.’ His voice scraped into the air. ‘You need to remember. You need to keep this inside you any time you hear a little warning voice and not let the fluffy curls your maid took hours perfecting swab that thought away. That little voice is there to keep you alive.’
Her heart pounded in her chest.
‘That warning voice you hear is the only voice in the world that can see to your interests. That warning voice is the heart telling you what the brain cannot fathom. It responds to a movement the corner of your eye caught, but the brain didn’t decipher. A smile that is fake. An arm with too much tension in it. Listen. To. It.’
She touched her neck. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘When your eyes are looking at fashion plates, the brain still functions. If someone walked into the room behind you and disturbed the air, the nose may get a whiff of the shaving soap—a scent that is too small for the brain to grasp. Instinct picks up on it. We are nothing more than animals that have formed better shelters. When you suddenly feel something is wrong, don’t brush away that thought. What if you act on it all the time and it is wrong half that? That’s still half that it helped you in a way nothing else could. What if it is right only one time out of a hundred and that is the time your life is saved?’
She shuddered. ‘You make the world sound so evil.’
‘Oh, dear me.’ He put a finger to the side of his lips. ‘I do believe it is.’ He cocked his head to the side.
‘You are a hideous man.’
‘I had a pint with a bodysnatcher once and I decided I’m not the only one who is. That is the problem. He told me if I’d pay him he’d prove it and deliver a body to my door—but I couldn’t keep it because he had a customer waiting for one. From the amount of dirt packed under his nails, I suspected he could do it.’
She didn’t move.
He swept a bow to her and then moved forward. ‘Prove to me that you can defend yourself.’ He grasped both her arms, enclosing her.
Her breath stopped.
‘Now fight back.’
She gulped air to be able to speak. ‘You’ve got my arms. I can’t move.’
‘What can you move?’ he asked.
‘Nothing.’
He stood, perfectly still. ‘Think about it.’
‘My legs. But they’ll tangle in my skirt. I can’t even kick.’
‘Then take your slipper and scrape down my leg. You’ll be able to stomp my foot that way.’
She moved, raising her leg, but he jumped back, pulling her off balance and towards him. ‘But not today, sweet. I may need to walk tomorrow.’
‘You need to let me go.’ She pulled at her arms, but he didn’t release her.
He lowered his voice. ‘I will.’ He shook his head and his voice softened. ‘But don’t you ever wake me again.’
‘I will never wake you again. Just let me go.’ She shook her arms, but he didn’t loosen.
