I met half way. He advised me not to talk to his sister of my father. They all knew, he said, that it was no fault of mine, and for his part, had he a rascal for a father, he should pension him and cut him; to tell the truth, no objection against me existed in his family except on the score of the sort of father I owned to, and I had better make up my mind to shake him off before I grew a man; he spoke as a friend. I might frown at him and clench my fists, but he did speak as a friend.
Janet all the while was nibbling a biscuit, glancing over it at me with mouse-eyes. Her short frock and her greediness, contrasting with the talk of my marrying her, filled me with renewed scorn, though my heart was sick at the mention of my father. I asked her what she knew of him. She nibbled her biscuit, mumbling, ‘He went to Riversley, pretending he was a singing-master. I know that’s true, and more.’
‘Oh, and a drawing-master, and a professor of legerdemain,’ added her brother. ‘Expunge him, old fellow; he’s no good.’
‘No, I’m sure he’s no good,’ said Janet.
I took her hand, and told her, ‘You don’t know how you hurt me; but you’re a child: you don’t know anything about the world. I love my father, remember that, and what you want me to do is mean and disgraceful; but you don’t know better. I would forfeit everything in the world for him. And when you’re of age to marry, marry anybody you like—you won’t marry me. And good-bye, Janet. Think of learning your lessons, and not of marrying. I can’t help laughing.’ So I said, but without the laughter. Her brother tried hard to get me to notice him.
Janet betook herself to the squire. Her prattle of our marriage in days to come was excuseable. It was the squire’s notion. He used to remark generally that he liked to see things look safe and fast, and he had, as my aunt confided to me, arranged with Lady Ilchester, in the girl’s hearing, that we should make a match. My grandfather pledged his word to Janet that he would restore us to an amicable footing. He thought it a light task. Invitations were sent out to a large party at Riversley, and Janet came with all my gifts on her dress or in her pockets. The squire led the company to the gates of his stables; the gates opened, and a beautiful pony, with a side-saddle on, was trotted forth, amid cries of admiration. Then the squire put the bridle-reins in my hands, bidding me present it myself. I asked the name of the person. He pointed at Janet. I presented the pony to Janet, and said, ‘It’s from the squire.’
She forgot, in her delight, our being at variance.
‘No, no, you stupid Harry, I’m to thank you. He’s a darling pony. I want to kiss you.’
I retired promptly, but the squire had heard her.
‘Back, sir!’ he shouted, swearing by this and that. ‘You slink from a kiss, and you’re Beltham blood?
Back to her, lad. Take it. Up with her in your arms or down on your knees. Take it manfully, somehow. See there, she ‘s got it ready for you.’
‘I’ve got a letter ready for you, Harry, to say—oh! so sorry for offending you,’ Janet whispered, when I reached the pony’s head; ‘and if you’d rather not be kissed before people, then by-and-by, but do shake hands.’
‘Pull the pony’s mane,’ said I; ‘that will do as well. Observe—I pull, and now you pull.’
Janet mechanically followed my actions. She grimaced, and whimpered, ‘I could pull the pony’s mane right out.’
‘Don’t treat animals like your dolls,’ said I.
She ran to the squire, and refused the pony. The squire’s face changed from merry to black.
‘Young man,’ he addressed me, ‘don’t show that worse half of yours in genteel society, or, by the Lord! you won’t carry Beltham buttons for long. This young lady, mind you, is a lady by birth both sides.’
‘She thinks she is marriageable,’ said I; and walked away, leaving loud laughter behind me.
But laughter did not console me for the public aspersion of him I loved. I walked off the grounds, and thought to myself it was quite time I should be moving. Wherever I stayed for any length of time I was certain to hear abuse of my father. Why not wander over the country with Kiomi, go to sea, mount the Andes, enlist in a Prussian regiment, and hear the soldiers tell tales of Frederick the Great? I walked over Kiomi’s heath till dark, when one of our grooms on horseback overtook me, saying that the squire begged me to jump on the horse and ride home as quick as possible. Two other lads and the coachman were out scouring the country to find me, and the squire was anxious, it appeared. I rode home like a wounded man made to feel proud by victory, but with no one to stop the bleeding of his wounds: and the more my pride rose, the more I suffered pain. There at home sat my grandfather, dejected, telling me that the loss of me a second time would kill him, begging me to overlook his roughness, calling me his little Harry and his heir, his brave-spirited boy; yet I was too sure that a word of my father to him would have brought him very near another ejaculation concerning Beltham buttons.
‘You’re a fiery young fellow, I suspect,’ he said, when he had recovered his natural temper. ‘I like you for it; pluck’s Beltham. Have a will of your own. Sweat out the bad blood. Here, drink my health, Harry. You’re three parts Beltham, at least, and it’ll go hard if you’re not all Beltham before I die. Old blood always wins that race, I swear. We ‘re the oldest in the county.
Damn the mixing. My father never let any of his daughters marry, if he could help it, nor’ll I, bar rascals.
Here’s to you, young Squire Beltham. Harry Lepel Beltham—does that suit ye? Anon, anon, as they say in the play. Take my name, and drop the Richmond no, drop the subject: we’ll talk of it by-and-by.’
So he wrestled to express his hatred of my father without offending me; and I studied him coldly, thinking that the sight of my father in beggar’s clothes, raising a hand for me to follow his steps, would draw me forth, though Riversley should beseech me to remain clad in wealth.
CHAPTER IX. AN EVENING WITH CAPTAIN BULSTED
A dream that my father lay like a wax figure in a bed gave me thoughts of dying. I was ill and did not know it, and imagined that my despair at the foot of the stairs of ever reaching my room to lie down peacefully was the sign of death. My aunt Dorothy nursed me for a week: none but she and my dogs entered the room. I had only two faint wishes left in me: one that the squire should be kept out of my sight, the other that she would speak to me of my mother’s love for my father. She happened to say, musing, ‘Harry, you have your mother’s heart.’
I said, ‘No, my father’s.’
From that we opened a conversation, the sweetest I had ever had away from him, though she spoke shyly and told me very little. It was enough for me in the narrow world of my dogs’ faces, and the red-leaved creeper at the window, the fir-trees on the distant heath, and her hand clasping mine. My father had many faults, she said, but he had been cruelly used, or deceived, and he bore a grievous burden; and then she said, ‘Yes,’ and ‘Yes,’ and ‘Yes,’ in the voice one supposes of a ghost retiring, to my questions of his merits. I was refreshed and satisfied, like the parched earth with dews when it gets no rain, and I was soon well.
When I walked among the household again, I found that my week of seclusion had endowed me with a singular gift; I found that I could see through everybody. Looking at the squire, I thought to myself, ‘My father has faults, but he has been cruelly used,’ and immediately I forgave the old man; his antipathy to my father seemed a craze, and to account for it I lay in wait for his numerous illogical acts and words, and smiled visibly in contemplation of his rough unreasonable nature, and of my magnanimity. He caught the
