New Grub Street. George Gissing
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The fog grew thicker; she looked up at the windows beneath the dome and saw that they were a dusky yellow. Then her eye discerned an official walking along the upper gallery, and in pursuance of her grotesque humour, her mocking misery, she likened him to a black, lost soul, doomed to wander in an eternity of vain research along endless shelves. Or again, the readers who sat here at these radiating lines of desks, what were they but hapless flies caught in a huge web, its nucleus the great circle of the Catalogue? Darker, darker. From the towering wall of volumes seemed to emanate visible motes, intensifying the obscurity; in a moment the book-lined circumference of the room would be but a featureless prison-limit.
But then flashed forth the sputtering whiteness of the electric light, and its ceaseless hum was henceforth a new source of headache. It reminded her how little work she had done to-day; she must, she must force herself to think of the task in hand. A machine has no business to refuse its duty. But the pages were blue and green and yellow before her eyes; the uncertainty of the light was intolerable. Right or wrong she would go home, and hide herself, and let her heart unburden itself of tears.
On her way to return books she encountered Jasper Milvain. Face to face; no possibility of his avoiding her.
And indeed he seemed to have no such wish. His countenance lighted up with unmistakable pleasure.
‘At last we meet, as they say in the melodramas. Oh, do let me help you with those volumes, which won’t even let you shake hands. How do you do? How do you like this weather? And how do you like this light?’
‘It’s very bad.’
‘That’ll do both for weather and light, but not for yourself. How glad I am to see you! Are you just going?’
‘Yes.’
‘I have scarcely been here half-a-dozen times since I came back to London.’
‘But you are writing still?’
‘Oh yes! But I draw upon my genius, and my stores of observation, and the living world.’
Marian received her vouchers for the volumes, and turned to face Jasper again. There was a smile on her lips.
‘The fog is terrible,’ Milvain went on. ‘How do you get home?’
‘By omnibus from Tottenham Court Road.’
‘Then do let me go a part of the way with you. I live in Mornington Road—up yonder, you know. I have only just come in to waste half an hour, and after all I think I should be better at home. Your father is all right, I hope?’
‘He is not quite well.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that. You are not exactly up to the mark, either. What weather! What a place to live in, this London, in winter! It would be a little better down at Finden.’
‘A good deal better, I should think. If the weather were bad, it would be bad in a natural way; but this is artificial misery.’
‘I don’t let it affect me much,’ said Milvain. ‘Just of late I have been in remarkably good spirits. I’m doing a lot of work. No end of work—more than I’ve ever done.’
‘I am very glad.’
‘Where are your out-of-door things? I think there’s a ladies’ vestry somewhere, isn’t there?’
‘Oh yes.’
‘Then will you go and get ready? I’ll wait for you in the hall. But, by-the-bye, I am taking it for granted that you were going alone.’
‘I was, quite alone.’
The ‘quite’ seemed excessive; it made Jasper smile.
‘And also,’ he added, ‘that I shall not annoy you by offering my company?’
‘Why should it annoy me?’
‘Good!’
Milvain had only to wait a minute or two. He surveyed Marian from head to foot when she appeared—an impertinence as unintentional as that occasionally noticeable in his speech—and smiled approval. They went out into the fog, which was not one of London’s densest, but made walking disagreeable enough.
‘You have heard from the girls, I think?’ Jasper resumed.
‘Your sisters? Yes; they have been so kind as to write to me.’
‘Told you all about their great work? I hope it’ll be finished by the end of the year. The bits they have sent me will do very well indeed. I knew they had it in them to put sentences together. Now I want them to think of patching up something or other for The English Girl; you know the paper?’
‘I have heard of it.’
‘I happen to know Mrs Boston Wright, who edits it. Met her at a house the other day, and told her frankly that she would have to give my sisters something to do. It’s the only way to get on; one has to take it for granted that people are willing to help you. I have made a host of new acquaintances just lately.’
‘I’m glad to hear it,’ said Marian.
‘Do you know—but how should you? I am going to write for the new magazine, The Current.’
‘Indeed!’
‘Edited by that man Fadge.’
‘Yes.’
‘Your father has no affection for him, I know.’
‘He has no reason to have, Mr Milvain.’
‘No, no. Fadge is an offensive fellow, when he likes; and I fancy he very often does like. Well, I must make what use of him I can.
You won’t think worse of me because I write for him?’
‘I know that one can’t exercise choice in such things.’
‘True. I shouldn’t like to think that you regard me as a Fadge-like individual, a natural Fadgeite.’
Marian laughed.
‘There’s no danger of my thinking that.’
But the fog was making their eyes water and getting into their throats. By when they reached Tottenham Court Road they were both thoroughly uncomfortable. The ‘bus had to be waited for, and in the meantime they talked scrappily, coughily. In the vehicle things were a little better, but here one could not converse with freedom.
‘What pestilent conditions of life!’ exclaimed Jasper, putting his face rather near to Marian’s. ‘I wish to goodness we were back in those quiet fields—you remember?—with the September sun warm about us. Shall you go to Finden again before long?’
‘I really don’t know.’
‘I’m