if you must know, Sam, I’m not wearing any yet. I’m still in my dressing gown,’ I say, keeping my voice down so the neighbours don’t hear.
‘It’s important to have good underwear on tonight,’ she says, sounding all serious and mumsy.
‘Yes, yes I know.’
‘Why don’t you wear that gorgeous black lace set?’ I don’t reply straight away, I’m too busy mulling over the implication and, amid the still-lingering doubts, I feel a tingle of anticipation about a repeat performance with James.
‘Mmm … maybe. How’s Nathan?’ I ask, changing the subject and crossing my fingers that it’s still going well. You never know with Sam.
‘Oh Georgie, he’s such a treat. And I think I actually might be in love with him. For real.’ Her voice soars as she tells me.
‘Sam that’s fantastic. What about him, has he said anything?’ I tread carefully, wary of putting my foot in it. Sam isn’t suspicious of men like I’ve been since the break-up with Brett, but then Alfie has never let her down. And Sam always falls head over heels in love very quickly, although she’s been caught out a few times over the years because of it.
‘Oh, he’s already told me he loves me,’ she replies, airily, and then adds, ‘which is why I’m making him wait. I’m not taking any chances this time around.’
‘So you managed to offload that other guy then. Justin, wasn’t it?’ I say, casting my mind back.
‘Oh yes, he was actually quite sweet about it when I eventually told him I wasn’t interested. God, that seems like ages ago now.’
‘Well that’s fantastic. I’m so pleased for you. You deserve to find your one, your real one.’
‘Maybe I’ll tell him while we’re away. I can’t wait,’ she exclaims. I think of the team-building do, and the heady feeling I had when James told me he’d called the hotel and asked them to put us in adjoining rooms.
‘Changing the topic completely, Nathan bumped into Tom a few evenings ago at the squash club. Anyway, Nathan asked him how the new job was going but he didn’t say much about it. Only that there’s a woman he likes.’
I knew it.
‘So that confirms it then.’ I was right all along.
‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s Maxine. They’ve got some ruse going on,’ I say, neatly fitting the jigsaw together.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Eddie even saw them together. Actually snogging!’ I feel slightly sick as I tell her this. Maybe I should have eaten more today; it’s no wonder I feel weird.
‘Nooo,’ she replies, dramatically.
‘Yep. But then when his name came up during my one-to-one with her, she commented that he’s an “unknown entity”. Made out like she didn’t even know him. To cover her tracks, I guess.’
‘How sneaky is that?’ Sam says, indignantly.
‘Totally,’ I reply, craning my neck to keep an eye on the clock in the lounge. An hour has rushed by. ‘Anyway, Sam, I must finish getting ready. He’ll be here soon.’
‘Oh yes, off you go. Call me as soon as you can. And remember, the black lace. He won’t be able to keep his hands off you,’ Sam advises before hanging up.
*
I’m checking myself again in the full-length mirror on the back of my bedroom door. The dress accentuates my curvy figure nicely and the new eyeliner in plum really brings out the turquoise of my eyes. I’ve even managed to get my hair looking really big. I check my false eyelashes again. Perfect! They’re all velvety and fluttery. I add another slick of Benefit minty fresh California Kissin’ lip gloss, which on inspection of my teeth, really does make them look extra white. A spritz of Cavalli from a tester bottle that Scarlett in Celebrity Perfumes gave me, and I’m ready and waiting for him. I lean into the mirror and, pursing my lips, I close my eyes just enough so I can peek through the lashes to see what James will see when he kisses me. I feel like a teenager again.
The sudden chime of the doorbell makes me jump and I shoot back from the mirror as though I’ve been caught out. He’s here, and he’s early. I rush to the hallway, and then pause beside the hall table. Taking a deep breath, I wait a second until my heart slows down.
I open the door and instantly the welcoming smile slips from my face. James is standing in front of me wearing scruffy old jeans and a washed-out old sweatshirt.
‘I’m not stopping,’ he barks. His eyes are flashing.
‘James, what is it?’ Something terrible has happened. God, I hope nobody has died.
‘Dinner is cancelled.’ He glowers at me and I instantly realise that no one is dead. He’s raging angry … and it’s with me.
‘What do you mean? Look, why don’t you come in?’ I stand aside. He barges past me and strides off into the lounge. I hurry after him. When I get into the room, he’s standing beside the fireplace, his fists clenching and unclenching. ‘James, please tell me what’s going on.’
‘Why don’t you tell me?’ His voice is tight. He rakes a hand through his dishevelled hair and I bite down hard on my bottom lip. Swallowing, I taste blood, metallic against the mint of the lip gloss.
‘James, I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ For a brief moment, his face softens, but then quickly clouds over again.
‘I’ll spell it out for you, shall I?’ he says, sarcastically. Then he moves away from the fireplace and, standing opposite me, I see his eyes are glimmering with rage. ‘I thought I could trust you,’ he shouts, his face glowering down at mine.
‘You can.’ I try to sound calm as I rack my brain searching for a clue as to what’s happened.
‘Well, I used to think so, but it turns out that you’re just like the rest of them.’ The insinuation is sickening.
‘What do mean? I hope you’re not suggesting that I’m like Rebecca.’
‘Don’t bring her into it,’ he says, defensively, and far too quickly. So, he still holds a candle for her then. So, I was right … he does need more time.
‘Please, just tell me what’s happened.’ I can hear my own heart beating.
‘Like you don’t know. You’ve been playing me all along, probably thinking that you’ll just reel me in and steal my job from under me … and grab yourself a nice Valentine’s Day present too, while you’re at it. Was that your little plan?’ he says, sarcastically. I’ve never seen him like this before. The silence that follows is excruciating.
‘James, that’s not true. You were the one who asked me out, remember?’ I say, softly, in a vain attempt to try and unravel what’s happened.
‘Yeah, like a fool, don’t remind me.’
I
