you think I should have re-entered their lives, Azhure?” Axis asked.
“If there are problems between them, you are not the cause, Axis,” Azhure replied. “I am sorry if I implied, even laughingly, that you were.”
Axis leaned his arms on his raised knees and considered his parents. Tension marked the relationship between himself and his father, while with his mother there was nothing but warmth. When the five Icarii had escorted him into Talon Spike she had been the first to step forward. She had said nothing, just folded him in her strong arms. For long minutes they had stood, each weeping silently, holding each other as close as they could. Axis recalled how he had summoned the memory of her struggle to give him birth and fight for his life. For so long he’d believed that she had cursed him as she died in his birth. Those long minutes holding each other had been a time of healing for them both.
But things between Rivkah and StarDrifter were not idyllic. That they loved each other, Axis had no doubt. But their passionate affair atop Sigholt had not transferred easily to Talon Spike. Perhaps Axis had arrived in their lives only in time to watch the sad disintegration of their marriage.
“It must be hard to look into the face of your husband and see a man who looks no older than your son.”
Axis’ expression hardened a little. His Icarii blood ran much stronger than his human and, like his sister, he would live the full span of an Icarii lifetime – perhaps some five hundred years, should he be left in peace to do so. What would it be like to watch his friends age and die while he still enjoyed youthful vitality? What would it be like to see the sods thrown on their grandchildren’s coffins before he had reached his middle years?
“Do I like it that in four hundred years I might still be sitting here watching the icebears hunt seals on the icebergs, trying desperately to recall the name and face of a lovely woman who had once sat here with me? Whose bones have turned to dust in some forgotten tomb? No, Azhure. I do not like it. I find it … hard.”
Azhure reached out and took his hand. Axis stiffened briefly, then he forced a smile. “But these powers I daily learn as an Icarii Enchanter give me a few compensations. Such as making the woman who sits here with me a small gift for the friendship she offers me.”
For an instant Azhure thought she caught the hint of a faraway melody in the wind. Then she was laughing in delight as the soft, velvety blooms of the violet Moonwildflower rained down about her. She let Axis’ hand go and tried to catch as many as she could.
“How did you know?” she gasped. She had not seen a Moonwildflower for over twenty years – when she was a tiny girl her mother had occasionally taken her on walks during full moon to find the flower.
Axis plucked a flower out of the air and threaded it into her wavy black hair. He was mildly disturbed, for he had meant to shower her with soft spring roses. “A lucky guess, Azhure. You sometimes remind me of the Moonwildflower Hidden in darkness, desperate not to be found or touched.”
Suddenly awkward, Azhure gently cradled a flower in her hands. The cascade drifted to a halt and she spoke, changing the subject. “EvenSong wants me to join her at training this afternoon. She says I show aptitude.”
EvenSong had been impressed by Azhure’s extraordinary fighting ability so clearly demonstrated during the battle in the Earth Tree Grove at Yuletide. While the Icarii Strike Force had faltered helplessly, unsure of how to combat the Skraeling wraiths, Azhure had discovered the Skraelings’ vulnerability – their eyes – and almost single-handedly rallied the Icarii and Avar to fight back. During the battle she had also saved StarDrifter from certain death.
EvenSong admired Azhure for her cool head and bravery, and for some weeks she and her Wing-Leader, SpikeFeather TrueSong, had been pressing Azhure to join weapons training with the Strike Force.
Axis could see Azhure’s doubts and knew the reasons for them. Had he not reviled her for the death of her father and the assault on Belial as she escaped into the Avarinheim with Raum and Shra? Had not the Avar rejected her, suspicious of her violence, even though she had saved so many of their lives?
“Azhure,” he said gently. “You did what you had to. Now do what you want with your life. Would you like to go with EvenSong this afternoon?”
Azhure hesitated, then nodded. “I have seen the Strike Force practise at archery. They look so smooth, so graceful. I would like to try that. SpikeFeather has offered to demonstrate for me and,” her mouth quirked, “teach me the proper use of the arrow.” Again she hesitated, then forged on. “I am sick of feeling helpless, directionless. I feel as though I have spent my life in a deep, dark well. Now, after so long buried in Smyrton, I am starting to make my way towards the surface – but the surface is still so very far away. Each day away from Smyrton, each new experience, brings me a little closer, wakes me up a little more from the torpor of my previous life. You are right. I must seek my own path.”
She laughed now, her good humour returning. “I am glad I’m not an Icarii Enchanter like you, destined for heroic deeds. That would be a heavy burden.”
Axis turned away, his face expressionless. “I am no hero.”
Azhure lowered her eyes to the flower she still held. If Axis had his moments of denial, then she did not blame him. Not a day passed that Axis did not grieve for those who had already died for him. He despised the thought that yet more would die. And it haunted him that his sister blamed him for FreeFall’s death.
“You must bear with EvenSong. She has not yet reconciled herself to FreeFall’s death. Her grief needs an outlet.”
Axis knew his sister resented him for many other reasons besides his inability to prevent FreeFall’s death. She had not begun to come to terms with having an older brother, and one who had inherited their father’s powers in full. Where once StarDrifter had lavished attention on EvenSong, now she found herself virtually ignored by her father as he spent almost every waking moment with his son. EvenSong found her father’s obsession with Axis difficult to accept.
It was fortunate, Axis mused, that Azhure was here to offer EvenSong companionship. He too appreciated the friendship and understanding she gave him as he fought to adjust to his new life and his new powers. Rivkah spent a good deal of time talking to her as well. If not for Azhure, StarDrifter’s entire household might well have self-destructed by now.
“The SunSoars are difficult people to live with,” he said, resting his chin in his hand.
“The Icarii people as a whole are,” replied Azhure, her eyes distant. “They are very good at passions and very bad at friendships.”
Axis studied her closely. This woman from Smyrton displayed more insight than many who had spent years in scholarly or diplomatic training. Where had she got it from? Not from her father, surely; Hagen had demonstrated as much insight as a sack of barley. Her mother? From what Axis knew of Nors women, they thought mainly of the pleasures of the flesh and very little else. And surely the woeful society of her village had contributed little to the inner depths she increasingly revealed.
Azhure shifted under his gaze – those pale-blue eyes seemed to reach to the core of her soul. Unthinking, she said the first thing that sprang to mind.
“Do you worry about her, Axis? Do you wonder if she is all right?” she asked, and then wished desperately she could snatch her words back.
Axis tensed at her side and Azhure could sense his withdrawal. He rarely spoke of Faraday and yet Azhure knew she was always in his thoughts.
Azhure
