when we need man’s work doing that I really feel him not being here.’
‘Man’s work,’ I repeat back to her, grimacing. ‘You’re letting the patriarchy win.’
She laughs. ‘I think I’m just missing Lee; that’s why I’m so stressed. I could do with him here to do this. We were crazy to think we could build bunk beds. And don’t give me that patriarchy rubbish – it’s just genetics. We’re both small, with zero upper body strength.’
‘When is Lee back?’
‘Christmas Eve,’ she says with a roll of her eyes. ‘Which is not helpful at all.’
Lee, Holly’s husband, works in the oil industry. He’s a drilling engineer, in Qatar. He works for six weeks, then he’s home for three weeks, so Holly has to look after the house and two little kids while he’s away, which is probably why she’s stressed out so often – especially when there is flat-pack furniture to contend with.
‘It’s OK, Mum,’ Chloe reassures her.
‘We could put the Christmas tree up. Would you like that?’ I ask.
‘Yes,’ Chloe squeaks, her eyes lighting up. ‘I’ll go get Harry.’
Harry, my nephew, is 5 years old, and like his sister, he loves Christmas. With their mum not being much of a fan, I’ve always stepped up to make Christmas amazing for them, going through all the Christmassy motions, just like my mum used to do for me.
‘Thanks,’ Holly says. ‘I really can’t face it.’
‘You know I enjoy it,’ I tell her. ‘And there’s no man required.’
We stand up and head downstairs.
‘You know, this is why you need a man,’ my sister says as we walk downstairs. She’s always pointing this out. Holly found a man, got married, had kids and now she’s this perfect little housewife. She looks at me, her twin sister, a hardworking spinster, and she wonders where it’s all gone wrong for me, why I just can’t seem to find a man.
‘I need a man because you need a man?’ I laugh. ‘To build your bunk beds.’
‘That and, well, I just don’t like to see you alone,’ she says softly.
‘I’m not alone, I have you and the kids.’
Holly just smiles.
I probably won’t tell her that a stranger kissed me yesterday. I don’t think that’s what she has in mind for me. Anyway, that kind of thing just doesn’t happen to girls like me – I doubt she’d believe me anyway.
‘Oh, I need a favour,’ Holly starts. ‘You remember when you played Mary in the school nativity.’
‘Most years,’ I reply with a chuckle.
My sister rolls her eyes. ‘Well, Chloe has been chosen for the part this year and I’m supposed to make her costume. I’d be surprised if you didn’t have at least one in all the junk you hoard in your loft. If you do, can Chloe borrow it please?’
‘Of course,’ I reply. I’m sure I could take a little offence at that if I wanted to, but I won’t. I’m pretty sure I’ll have every costume I’ve ever worn up there. I like to hang on to things – especially things that remind me of certain times or events.
As Holly cooks dinner, the kids and I put up the tree. I’ve never been able to persuade Holly to have a real tree, hard as I’ve tried. Obviously in the shop I have artificial trees, because I need to keep them up all year round, but I have a real tree in the flat, which, teamed with the fresh popcorn I painstakingly string each year to drape around it, makes the place smell incredible. Holly doesn’t want the hassle, though, so we’ve taken out her good, old artificial tree, and the box of decorations that I’ve been adding to each year.
If I had the space Holly did – a whole house, instead of a tiny flat above a shop – I’d do so much with my Christmas décor. I used to have a house – although I can’t claim it was as big as this one. Still, I would go all-out at Christmas time, decking the halls inside and out. When my mum died Holly wanted to sell the shop, but I wanted to keep it. I wound up selling my house to buy Holly’s half, but even though business isn’t as good as it used to be, I have no regrets. It would be nice to have more space sometimes though.
I love spending time with my niece and nephew, especially at Christmas time, because there’s something all the more magical about seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child. As much as I love it, when you’re grown up, Christmas is stripped down, just a little. You can see the commercial side of it, you know there’s no Santa Claus, you know that it’s a lot of hype and pressure to get everything perfect for just one day of the year. But for the kids, it’s still just pure magic. They don’t have to go to school, the whole family get together, they get presents and chocolate and watch festive movies all day. Holly might not be a fan of the festivities but the silver lining is that I get to go through all the motions with her kids.
‘OK, who wants to put the star on top?’ I ask.
‘I do, I do,’ Harry sings.
‘Let him do it,’ Chloe says with a casual bat of her hand. She’s such a little diva, for a 7-year-old.
I carefully hand Harry the gold star before lifting him up in the air so he can place it at the top of the tree. After a lot of wriggling I lower him back down.
‘There we go,’ I say. ‘I think it looks even better than last year – what do you think?’
‘It’s amazing,’ Chloe says as she admires our handiwork.
‘That was some great teamwork,’ I tell them. ‘Good job.’
Holly walks into the room with a tray of drinks.
‘What do you think, Hol?’ I ask.
‘It’s…a tree,’ she replies, feigning enthusiasm.
‘It is a tree,’ I reply. ‘Do you like it?’
My sister forces a smile. ‘It’s great,’ she eventually says. ‘I’d better go check on the chicken.’
My sister hurries back into the kitchen so I leave the kids admiring their handiwork and follow her.
‘Are you sure you’re OK?’ I ask her.
‘You know I don’t really like Christmas all that much.’
‘I know, but you’re worse this year,’ I point out.
‘How’s the shop doing?’ she asks, changing the subject.
‘Meh,’ I reply. ‘I’m hoping it picks up now it’s December. It’s just so hard, because no one knows we’re there, now that cars don’t really drive past anymore.’
‘You not fancy going back to plan A?’ she asks.
‘The shop has always been plan A,’ I remind her. ‘What you’re talking about is just something I did because Mum wanted us to do something different
