regardless of whether the female is fertile and they have an extensive sexual repertoire. In addition to conventional male – female intercourse, bonobos go in for male – male and female-female couplings, group sex, masturbation, oral sex and kissing with tongues. Female bonobos often have close encounters with other females: after embracing each other, one female lies on her back, the other climbs on top and they vigorously rub their genitals together. Biologists refer to this as ‘g – g-rubbing’, as in genital – genital. Just about the only form of sexuality that bonobos do not regularly indulge in is copulating with their own children.
Bonobos are not the only primates to engage in girl-on-girl action. Female stump-tailed macaques also achieve orgasms through female-female couplings, just as they do from having sex with males. We know this thanks to scientists who secreted miniaturised radio-telemetry equipment in hard-to-reach places in the monkeys’ anatomy. Measurements obtained in this way from stump-tailed macaques while they are having sex have revealed that their orgasms involve much the same profile of physiological changes as those observed in human females, including intense uterine contractions and sharp increases in heart rate. Other female primates have their own ways of enhancing sexual pleasure. For instance, female sooty mangabeys, a species of monkey from West Africa, sometimes use their hands to stimulate their own genitals while they are having sex.
In bonobo society, females often dominate males, initiate sex and form powerful coalitions. Female bonobos exercise a lot of control over when, how and with whom they have sex. They use sex as a social tool as well as a source of pleasure. When two unfamiliar tribes of bonobos encounter each other in the forest, females from each tribe will often initiate sex with males from the other tribe as a way of breaking the ice. Perhaps as a result of all this pleasurable sex, bonobos are generally friendly towards each other. There is little overt conflict. Biologists have pointed out the contrast between these sexy, peaceful apes and their closest biological relative, the chimpanzee. Chimps have less recreational sex than bonobos and their society is more male-dominated. They are also more aggressive. When two chimpanzee tribes meet in the wild, they are more likely to make war than make love. The outcome is often violent and bloody. All of this has led the bonobo’s admirers to regard them as the hippies of the ape world. One observer described them as equal parts dolphin, Dalai Lama and Warren Beatty.1 Sadly, only a few hundred thousand of these wonderful animals are left on the planet. So how do we humans compare?
We belong to a very sexual species that is capable of being even more lustful and inventive than the bonobo. Sex is self-evidently a prominent feature of human life, albeit one that is expressed (or repressed) in many different ways. A national survey conducted in the UK at the end of 2005 found that people rated sex as the second most important source of pleasure in their life, after socialising with friends and family, although many men put sex in first place.2 The average person reported having sex seven times a month, with a small minority claiming a monthly tally of more than twenty. Nine out of ten people said they found sex more pleasurable with a longstanding partner (not to be confused with a long, standing partner). A common theme to emerge from studies of human sexuality is that many people say they would prefer to have sex more often than they do. The ideal frequency is usually higher for men than for women.
Pleasure begets pleasure, when it comes to sex. The enjoyment of sex creates a virtuous circle, in which good sex improves mood and good mood in turn gives rise to more sex. This mutually reinforcing relationship was highlighted by a study in which researchers tracked the sexual behaviour of middle-aged women. The results showed that when a woman had good sex with her partner she was more likely to be in a good mood the following day. Being in a good mood made her, in turn, more likely to have sex the day after that.
Low mood usually dampens sexual desire, although it can have the opposite effect on some individuals. Research has found that a significant minority of men become more interested in sex when they are depressed, anxious or stressed. This may be because they have unconsciously learned to use sex as a form of self-medication, exploiting its combination of pleasure, intimacy, distraction and relaxation to lift their mood. In women, a correlation has been found between low mood and a greater desire to masturbate.
The lure of sexual pleasure is so powerful that people will find ways of obtaining it even in difficult situations like prisons. Pleasure can also be derived from fantasising about sex. Almost everyone has erotic fantasies, often while they are having real sex. Perhaps surprisingly, research has revealed that men’s sexual fantasies tend to focus more on the desire and pleasure of their partner than do women’s fantasies.
The sheer diversity of human sexual behaviour is impressive, even for an intelligent ape. Small but significant minorities of humanity engage in a wide range of practices such as sadomasochism and bondage. Some individuals develop a fetish, in which their sexual pleasure becomes linked to an inanimate object which would not commonly be regarded as erotic. Among the many such fetish objects recorded in the psychosexual literature are feet, fire, clothes, rubber, shoes and spectacles. Transvestic fetishists are sexually aroused by cross-dressing. Researchers in Sweden found that almost 3 per cent of men had experienced this form of erotic pleasure at least once.
Far more people enjoy anal sexuality in its many different forms. The fact that humans and other animals find anal stimulation pleasurable is unsurprising: the anus and rectum are richly endowed with nerve endings, making them highly sensitive to stimulation. Moreover, the genital and anal regions share some of the same nerve connections to the brain, creating the possibility of ‘cross-talk’ between pleasurable sensations originating from either region. Humans have always responded to this aspect of their architecture. Anal intercourse and other forms of anal stimulation are, and always have been, commonplace among heterosexuals and homosexuals. Research in the USA and Sweden shows that between a quarter and half of adults have tried anal intercourse and a small but substantial minority practise it regularly. The use of enemas for sexual pleasure, a practice known as klismaphilia, is also more common than might be assumed. Very few forms of behaviour are unique to humans, and anal sexuality is not one of them. For example, male rhesus monkeys have been observed to have penetrative anal sex with other males.
The diversity of human sexuality may be remarkable but it is certainly not new. Historical records show, for example, that the ancient Egyptians explored every known variation in the sexual repertoire, including masturbation, anal sex, male and female homosexuality, exhibitionism, incest, bestiality and necrophilia. The Romans were also great sexual explorers. They used a bewildering range of aphrodisiacs to boost their libidos, including bone marrow and cuttlefish. Sex in pre-Christian Rome seems to have been a pleasurable and largely guilt-free form of recreation, in an era when there was no expectation that marriage must be strictly monogamous. Attitudes were much the same elsewhere in the ancient world. Herodotus, who wrote his epic Histories in the fifth century BC, recorded these observations on the sexual practices of tribes inhabiting the lands east of the Mediterranean:
When a Nasamonian man gets married, it is the custom first for the bride to have sex with all the guests, one after another, on her wedding night; every man she has sex with gives her something he has brought with him from his house as a gift.… Gindanes women each wear many leather anklets; it is said that they tie on an anklet for each man they have had sex with. The woman with the largest number of anklets is considered to be the most outstanding because she has been loved by the largest number of men.
Recreational sex for its own sake later came to be regarded with severe disapproval, as religious belief clashed with hedonism. We shall return to this theme in chapter 13.
The dazzling variety of sexual pleasures available to our species has been augmented by the application of technology and pharmacology. The use of psychoactive drugs to enhance sexual pleasure is an ancient tradition. Many different drugs, including alcohol, cannabis, amphetamine, amyl nitrite, ecstasy and cocaine, are said by some users to enhance sex, although the evidence is mixed. The actor Errol Flynn, of whom more later, liked
