both the human and the dog world, the greatest form of leadership is the silent, inspirational type. Think of the great men of history: Gandhi, Sitting Bull, Mandela – all hugely charismatic but quiet men. That famous phrase from Kipling’s poem ‘If always comes to mind when I think of the qualities of leadership:
‘If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs …’
It is obvious when you think about it. A leader that is upset or agitated is a leader that does not instil confidence, a leader that is less likely to be believed in. It is certainly a principle that is recognised within wolf packs where the Alpha wolves display a serenity that borders on the dismissive at times.
I knew if I was going to begin communicating in my dogs’ language and, more importantly, if I was going to be elected leader, I had to start behaving in a manner the dogs would associate with leadership. I am not by nature the strong, silent type, so it was necessary for me to adopt a slight change of personality in the dogs’ company. Compared to the transformation I was soon seeing, the change was minor.
My first attempts began on a wet weekday morning. I remember it was raining really hard, and thinking how easy it would be to wait for a sunny day to start this bright new beginning. But by now I was impatient to get on. And I had gone to bed the night before, determined to try something the next day. I must admit I was full of self-doubt. I had no idea if it was going to work. Part of me felt a bit silly. I thought to myself: ‘I hope no one comes around this morning.’ But as I came down the stairs I knew that I had nothing to lose.
People imagine that I have always had my dogs behaving exactly as I wanted. They couldn’t be further from the truth. At that time, my pack was quite a handful, and even worse, they had no manners. When I came home, they bounded around and jumped up just like any other dogs; it could be incredibly irritating. Sometimes I would have my arms full of shopping or I would be wearing a nice outfit and they would come careering at me. For this reason, the first situation I decided to tackle was the re-formation of the pack.
Planning it all in my mind the night before I began, I had decided to imitate the behaviour of the Alpha by ignoring them. This was not, of course, the easiest thing in the world to do. But I soon realised that I had more tools available than I had thought. Because we are verbal creatures, we use words too much. We forget that we know an awful lot of body language as well. If somebody turns away from you, for instance, you know what they mean. Equally if you walk into a crowded room and someone averts their eyes, you are getting a clear message straight away. Dogs use this same language too, eye contact in particular. I soon realised I could use this effectively. So when I came downstairs that morning and let the dogs into the kitchen, I started behaving differently. When they jumped up at me I didn’t say get down, when they misbehaved I didn’t tell them to go to their beds. For the first few minutes that day I made sure I didn’t even make any eye contact with them. I just ignored them.
It was, I confess, an unnatural feeling at first. I was cutting against an ingrained attitude that wanted to interact with dogs whenever possible. I’m not sure how long I would have been able to keep it up if I had not got almost immediate results. The impact was obvious within a day or two of my starting this new regime. To my astonishment they very quickly stopped jumping up and charging at me. As I repeated the procedure each time I arrived among them they became more and more respectful. As the week wore on, they began standing back and letting me come in unmolested.
I’m sure their acceptance was increased by the fact that there were immediate benefits to this. By giving me the body space I needed, they saw a distinct change in the atmosphere during the times I was with them: I was pleased to see them. The dogs learned that when I wanted to spend time, it was quality time. Behaviourism had taught me that you should ignore undesirable and excessive behaviour but be sure to praise the positive, so I underlined this by making a quiet, extra fuss of them when they did come to me. The dogs were soon coming to me only when I asked them to, and it didn’t take time: it happened within a week.
This first tentative step had proved so effective, I knew I was on to something. But I quickly realised that one thing alone was not going to give them the message. I decided to move on next to moments of perceived danger, and the arrival of strangers to the pack specifically. Like other dogs, mine used to bark incessantly when someone came to the door. When I let them in, the visitor would instantly be surrounded by a circle of dogs, jumping up at them and making a terrible fuss. I would shout: ‘Stop it, be quiet.’ But by now I realised that far from placating them, I was exacerbating the situation. Again I thought of Kipling; I knew I had to keep my head, be calm and consistent.
This time I decided to tell people to ignore the dogs when they came through the door. Those dogs that kept bounding up, I took into another room. Of course some people thought I was crazy. To them, it was the most natural thing in the world to acknowledge a dog, particularly if it’s a beautiful dog. My friends and family had certainly been in the habit of making a fuss of Sasha, Khan, Sandy and Kim. But I was determined to give this a chance and insisted they do as I ask.
The early signs were enough to convince me to stick at it. Within a few days again, things began to calm down. Soon the dogs were just barking rather than running up and milling around visitors. Once more the dogs picked up on what was being asked of them pretty quickly. Of course I couldn’t quite believe it was so simple; I put some of it down to the fact that both Sandy and Khan were getting old. I was sure there was significance in the fact that the dog that was giving me most in terms of response was Sasha, the youngest one in the pack and a German shepherd to boot. I never thought: ‘I’m right here, there has to be reasons why this is working’ – I was questioning things all the way along. Despite all this, however, I can’t deny it was a fantastic feeling. They were transformed, they seemed happier, calmer dogs, and it was a joy to behold.
The next thing I wanted to tackle was going for a walk. Walking time then was, in all honesty, little short of chaos. Whenever we went out, the dogs would all run around me, pulling on the leads. The situation summed up the fatal flaw in traditional training in many ways. I think I had instilled a lot of good habits into them through obedience training, but if I am honest with myself they were either robotic when we went out or doing their own thing – it was either everything or nothing. I didn’t want that, and felt there had to be a way of achieving a kind of co-operation, a situation where I could get them to comply when I wanted and they could enjoy the freedom to run where they liked when they were able to do so. I knew the best form of control was self-control. But how to instil it?
Instead of putting them on a lead and letting them bounce around like maniacs, I thought I’d calm it right down again. As I was doing more and more now, I stopped and thought about the wolf pack analogy. I saw how the Alpha pair allowed the subordinates to run around for a while but that eventually all calmed down and they was able to lead the hunt in an orderly fashion. So the first time I gathered the dogs together for a walk, I did not try to stop them getting excited: quite the opposite. Again thinking about the principles of the wolf pack, I realised dogs have got to get wound up because, to them, this is the prelude to a hunt and they have to get their adrenaline pumping. What I was trying to do was not fight their instinct but go with it.
The difference this time, however, was that after putting the leads on the dogs, I did nothing, I just stood there, impassively waiting, calmly and silently before heading out of the door. Again the calming leadership I was showing bore fruit, and the dogs calmed right down. I then found that, on the walk, I had to keep showing them my leadership credentials. Previously, like so many other dog owners, I would be taken for a drag down the road by the dogs, an experience I never particularly enjoyed. However, I found that if, whenever the obligatory pulling started, I waited, the results were remarkable. The dogs quickly realised they were getting nowhere fast, and one by one their leads all slackened as they gave up trying and turned round to look at me. This was the first time they had done so, and it gave me the encouragement I needed to continue in this vein. It had been a battle of wills, and I
