How to Use This Book
NLP is like a hologram, you can start anywhere and build the whole picture, so you can dip into this book at random and read what interests you. If you read it through in order, though, I believe you will get a better looking, easier to understand hologram.
If you are a trainer, you will find many ideas in this book for NLP training. You will also find many ideas you can adapt for any kind of communication or self-development skills training.
At the end of each section, there is an ‘Action Plan’ with practical exercises and suggestions for building your skills and making the ideas reality. Knowledge, as they say, remains only a rumour until you embody it and do something with it. These are exercises for everyday life. They are not a regimented formula – they don’t have to be completed before you can read the next page – and I would be kidding myself if I expected everyone to do them all. They are suggestions. Take the ones that you like and that work for you.
You may want to use this book more creatively, for example like the Chinese divination book the I Ching. When you have a problem and would appreciate some advice, open the book at random and read a page. How might it apply? There is bound to be some application, as both the problem and the meaning you take from what you read come from the same place – your mind.
Above all, be curious. This book is about the endlessly fascinating webs of our experience. Some days are wonderful. We can do no wrong and neither can anyone else. Other days are awful. Everyone seems to conspire to thwart us and we can do nothing right. If we tried to fall over, the odds are we would miss the floor. How does this all happen? NLP can begin to tell you how and even a little of why. Then perhaps you can make your way through each day with a little more choice, a little less burdened by the excess baggage of old limitations.
 | First things first. What is NLP? But this is a trick question. You cannot pin NLP down to a single definition. There are many explanations of NLP, each like a beam of light shining from a different angle, picking out the whole shape and shadow of the subject. |
NLP studies brilliance and quality – how outstanding individuals and organizations get their outstanding results. The methods can be taught to others so they too can get the same class of results. This process is called ‘modelling’.
In order to model, NLP studies how we structure our subjective experience – how we think about our values and beliefs and how we create our emotional states – and how we construct our internal world from our experience and give it meaning. No event has meaning in itself, we give it meaning, and different people may give the same event different meanings. So, NLP studies experience from the inside.
NLP began by studying the best communicators and has evolved into the systemic study of human communication. It has grown by adding practical tools and methods generated by modelling exceptional people. These tools are used internationally in sports, business, training, sales, law and education. However, NLP is more than just a collection of techniques. It is also a way of thinking, a frame of mind based on curiosity, exploration and fun.
The name ‘Neuro-Linguistic Programming’ comes from the three areas it brings together:
| N | Neurology | The mind and how we think. |
| L | Linguistics | How we use language and how it affects us. |
| P | Programming | How we sequence our actions to achieve our goals. |
Here are some definitions of NLP. Put them all together and they give a good idea of the field.
And now for two stories – always a richer source of ideas than a straight definition…
A boy asked his mother, ‘What’s NLP?’
His mother said, ‘I will tell you in a moment, but first you have to do something so you can understand. See your granddad over there in his chair?’
‘Yep,’ said the boy.
‘Go and ask him how his arthritis is today.’
The boy went over to his grandfather. ‘Granddad,’ he said, ‘how’s your arthritis today?’
‘Oh, it’s a bit bad, son,’ replied the old man. ‘It’s always worse in damp weather. I can hardly move my fingers today.’ A look of pain crossed his face.
The boy went back to his mother. ‘He said it was bad. I think it hurts him. Are you going to tell me what NLP is now?’
‘In a minute, I promise,’ replied his mother. ‘Now go over and ask Granddad what was the funniest thing that you did when you were very young.’
The boy went over to his grandfather. ‘Granddad,’ he began, ‘what’s the funniest thing I ever did when I was very young?’
The old man’s face lit up. ‘Oh,’ he smiled, ‘there were lots of things. There was the time when you and your friend played Father Christmas and sprinkled talcum powder all over the bathroom pretending it was snow. I laughed – but I didn’t have to clean it up.’ He stared into the distance with a smile.
