not heeded is returned to its giver, losing its energy. He needs to be sure that you are interested in what he tells you.”
“Well, why doesn’t he show these things directly to you?”
“Because there is an unwritten rule in the Tradition: A master never teaches another master’s disciple. And he knows I am J.’s disciple. But since he wants to be of help to me, he is using you for that purpose.”
“Is that why you brought me here?”
“No. It was because I was afraid of being alone in the desert.”
He could have said it was because he loves me, she thought. That would have been more truthful.
THEY STOPPED THE CAR ON THE SHOULDER of the narrow dirt road. Two days had passed, and they were to meet Gene that night—Gene, who had told her always to look to the horizon. She was excited about their meeting.
But it was still morning. And the days in the desert were long.
She looked out at the horizon: mountains that suddenly sprang up millions of years ago, crossing the desert in a long cordillera. Although the earthquakes that created them had occurred long ago, one could still see how the earth’s surface had buckled—the ground still climbed smoothly toward the mountains, and then, at a certain altitude, a kind of wound opened, out of which rocks sprang, pointing to the sky.
Between the mountains and the car was a rocky valley with sparse vegetation: thorn bushes, cacti, and yucca. Life that insisted on surviving in an environment that didn’t support it. And an immense white expanse the size of five football fields stood out in the middle of it all. It reflected the morning sun, and resembled a field of snow.
“Salt. A salt lake.”
Yes. This desert must once have been the bed of an ocean. Once a year, seagulls from the Pacific Ocean flew the hundreds of miles to this desert to eat the species of shrimp that appeared when the rains began. Human beings may forget their origins, but nature, never.
“It must be about three miles from here,” Chris said.
Paulo checked his watch. It was still early. They had looked to the horizon and it had shown them a salt lake. One hour’s walk there, another to return, no risk of the midday sun.
Each placed a canteen of water on their belt. Paulo put his cigarettes and a Bible in a small bag. When they arrived at the lake, he was going to suggest that they read a passage from it, chosen at random.
THEY BEGAN TO WALK. CHRIS KEPT HER eyes fixed on the horizon whenever possible. Although it was a simple thing to be doing, something strange was happening: She felt better, freer, as if her internal energy had been increased. For the first time in many years, she regretted not having taken a more intense interest in Paulo’s “Conspiracy.” She had always imagined difficult rituals that only those who were prepared and disciplined could perform.
They walked at a leisurely pace for half an hour. The lake appeared to have shifted its location; it always seemed to be at the same distance from them.
They walked for another hour. They must already have covered four miles or so, but the lake appeared to be only a bit closer.
It was no longer early morning, and the heat of the sun was building.
Paulo looked back. He could see the car, a tiny red point in the distance but still visible—impossible to become lost. And when he looked at the car, he saw something else that was important.
“Let’s stop here,” he said.
They left the path they were taking and walked to a boulder. They huddled in close to it, because it cast only a very small shadow. In the desert, shadows appear only early in the morning or late in the afternoon, and then only near the rocks.
“Our calculation was wrong,” he said.
Chris had already noticed that. She was surprised, because Paulo was good at estimating distances, and he had trusted her guess of three or four miles.
“I know how we went wrong,” he said. “There’s nothing in the desert to base comparisons on. We’re used to calculating distance based on the size of things. We know the approximate size of a tree, or a telephone pole, or a house. They help us to decide whether things are near or far away.”
Here, there was no point of reference. There were rocks they’d never seen, mountains whose size they could not estimate, and only the sparse vegetation. Paulo had realized this as he looked back at the car. And he could see that they had walked more than four miles.
“Let’s rest a while, and then we’ll go back.”
That’s all right, Chris thought. She was fascinated with the idea of continuing to look out at the horizon. It was a completely new experience for her.
“This business of looking at the horizon, Paulo…” Chris paused.
He waited, knowing that she would continue. He knew that she was worried that she might say something silly, or find some esoteric meaning in things, as many do who know only a little about the path.
“It seems as if … I don’t know … I can’t explain it … as if my soul has grown.”
Yes, Paulo thought. She’s on the right track.
“Before, I looked in the distance, and things in the distance seemed really far, you know? They seemed not to be a part of my world. Because I was used to looking only at things that were close, the things around me.
“But, two days ago, I got used to looking into the distance. And I saw that besides tables, chairs, and objects, my world also included the mountains, clouds, the sky. And my soul—my soul seems to have eyes that it uses to touch those things.”
Wow! That’s a great way of saying it, Paulo thought.
“My soul seems to have grown,” Chris repeated.
He opened the bag, took out his cigarettes, and lit one before speaking.
“Anyone can see that. But we’re always looking at the things that are closest to us. Looking down and inward. So our power diminishes, and using your term, our soul shrinks.
“Because our soul includes nothing but ourselves. It doesn’t include oceans, mountains, other people; it doesn’t even include the walls of the houses where we live.”
Paulo liked the expression “My soul has grown.” If he had been talking with another member of the Tradition, there’s no doubt that he would have heard much more complicated explanations, such as “My consciousness expanded.” But the term his wife had used was more exact.
He finished his cigarette. There was no point in insisting that they make it
