Mara nodded, longing now for soft cushions in place of rough bags of thyza. Weary as she was of the stares of hungry men, the privacy of her litter seemed suddenly inviting. Loudly enough for the men to hear, she called, ‘Let us be away, then, Force Commander. There are Acoma soldiers here who would like a bath, a hot meal, and rest in a barracks where the fog won’t dampen their blankets.’
Even Mara could not keep her eyes free of moisture at the shout of unalloyed joy that sprang from the lips of the bandits. Men who so recently had stood ready to fight against her now were eager to defend her. Silently the girl gave thanks to Lashima. This first victory had come easily; but against the strength of the Minwanabi, and the scheming cleverness of the Anasati, in the future her success would come with difficulty, if at all.
Jostled back against the cushions as her slaves raised her litter, Mara felt limp. She allowed herself a deep sigh of relief. All the doubt and fear suppressed through armed confrontation and negotiation with the bandits surfaced behind the privacy of her curtains. Until now she had not dared admit how frightened she had been. Her body quivered with unexpected chills. Aware that dampness would mar the fine silk of her gown, she sniffed and suppressed a maddening urge to weep. Lano had ridiculed her emotional outbursts as a child, teasing her about not being Tsurani – though women were not expected to hold themselves in check the way men did.
Remembering his laughing banter and the fact that she had never seen her father betray any uncertainty, any doubts or fears, she closed her eyes, immersing herself in an exercise to calm herself. The voice of the teaching sister who had schooled her at the temple of Lashima seemed to answer within her mind: learn the nature of self, accept all aspects of self, then the mastery can begin. Denial of self is denial of all.
Mara sniffed again. Now her nose dripped also. Pushing her sleeves out of harm’s way, she silently admitted the truth. She had been terrified, most so at the moment she had thought the bandits might be attacking her estates while she futilely searched the hills for them.
Again Mara scolded herself: this is not how a Ruling Lady acts! Then she understood the root of her feelings: she didn’t know how a Ruling Lady was expected to act. Lacking any schooling in governance, she was a temple girl thrust into the deadliest contest in the Empire.
Mara reviewed an early lesson from her father: doubts could only cripple one’s ability to act decisively; and in the Game of the Council, to hesitate was to die.
To avoid dwelling on weakness, Mara peered through a crack in the curtains at the newly recruited Acoma retainers. Despite soiled clothing, haggard faces, arms like sticks, and eyes of frightened animals, these men were soldiers, yet now Mara recognized a quality in them she had failed to see before: these outlaws, even the roguish Lujan, had been just as frightened as she. Mara found that perplexing, until she reconsidered the ambush from their perspective. Despite being outnumbered, the Acoma warriors were all battle-tested soldiers, properly armed and fit. Some of these grey warriors hadn’t seen a decent meal in a year. And their weapons were an odd assortment of discarded, stolen, or crudely fashioned swords and knives. Only a few had anything like a shield and none wore body armour. No, thought Mara, many of those sad, desperate men must have expected some of their unfortunate brotherhood to die this day. And each would have wondered if he’d be among that number.
The men marched unaware of their mistress’s observation. Their faces revealed a play of other emotions, among them hope and the fear of false hope. Mara sank back upon the cushions, absently focusing on the colourful design of the litter’s tapestry covering. How had she suddenly come to see all these things in these men’s faces? Could her fear have triggered some perceptiveness she had not understood within herself? Then, as if her brother, Lanokota, sat beside her, memory of his presence filled her mind. If she closed her eyes she could hear him whisper, ‘You are growing up, little sister.’
Suddenly Mara could no longer contain her tears. Now her weeping did not arise from sorrow but from a jubilant upwelling similar to the joy she had known when Lano had last won the summer games in Sulan-Qu. On that day Mara and her father had cheered like peasants from the stands, for a time unconcerned with the mores of social status and decorum; only now her emotions swept her tenfold more powerfully.
She had won. She had tasted her first victory in the Game of the Council, and the experience whetted her wits, left her yearning for something more and greater. For the first time in life she understood why the great Lords strove, and even died, for the chance to gain in honour.
Smiling through the tracks of tears, she allowed the motion of the litter to relax her body. No one she faced across the invisible gaming table of Tsurani politics would know of this move, at least not directly and not for some time. But where Minwanabi treachery had reduced the Acoma home garrison to fifty soldiers, she now commanded the loyalty of better than two hundred. Since grey warriors were scattered in hideouts the breadth of the Empire, she could employ these men to recruit more. Should she gain but another week from her sending the box with the feather and cord to the Lord of the Minwanabi, then she might have five hundred or more soldiers to offset his next threat. Mara felt joyous. She knew victory! And two voices arose from memory. On one hand the teaching sister said, ‘Child, be wary of the lure of power and triumph, for all such things are transitory.’ But Lano’s impetuous voice urged her to appreciate her accomplishments. ‘Enjoy victory while you can, Mara-anni. Enjoy it while you can.’
Mara lay back, tired enough to set her mind at rest. As her slaves bore her homeward through the deepening shadows of sundown, she smiled slightly in the privacy of her litter. While she knew that her situation was still almost hopeless, she was going to take Lano’s advice. Life must be savoured while it lasted.
The wagon wheels creaked and turned and the needra snorted, while the dust of tramping men turned the air ochre and gold. Sunset faded slowly to twilight as Mara’s unlikely caravan with its ill-assorted company of men-at-arms made its way down the road to the Acoma estate.
The torches by the main door of the estate house lit a courtyard thrown into confusion. The earlier arrival of the formerly masterless workers and farmers has busied Jican and his staff to the exclusion of all else, as meals and quarters and jobs were meted out to all. When Mara’s caravan returned on the edge of nightfall with Lujan’s ragged, underfed warriors, the hadonra threw his hands in the air and begged the gods for an end to an impossible day’s work. Hungry himself, and by now resigned to a tongue-lashing from his wife for missing his children’s bedtime, Jican dispatched word to the cooks to prepare yet another cauldron of thyza, and to cut cold meat and fruit. Then, shorter than most of his charges and having to make up the difference by being tirelessly energetic, the hadonra began the task of taking names and tallying which men needed clothing, and which sandals. While Keyoke began the task of sorting the newcomers into companies, Jican and his assistants assembled a team of slaves to sweep out an empty barracks and fetch blankets for sleeping mats. Without formal instructions from anyone, Lujan took on the role of officer, reassuring or bullying where necessary to help get his company settled.
Into this chaos of milling men and needra wagons sailed Nacoya, her hairpins askew in her agitation. She gave Lujan’s raffish company a brisk glance and homed in at once on Mara’s litter. Weaving a determined path through the press, she arrived just as Papewaio assisted his Lady from the cushions to her feet. Stiff from sitting and dazzled by the torchlight, Mara observed that silent moment when her Strike Leader surrendered her care to Nacoya. The invisible line between the domains of bodyguard and nurse lay approximately where the stone walk from the main doors of the house touched the roadway.
Nacoya accompanied her mistress back to her quarters, one step behind her shoulder as was proper. Once through the door, the old nurse gestured for the maids to withdraw. Then, her expression obscured by the wavering shadows cast by the oil lamps, she slid the screen firmly closed.
As
