tomorrow.
Inside My Wardrobe having a dark curlupp,
My Room
Dear Mum and Dad,
Here are Yeller’s last words that he said to me doorslammingly, (in a note, he rolled them up then skwashed them up my keyhole).
Listen Lickle, I Am All Fed Up. I Tried Bein Nice To Smells, Him Bein Only A Titch, But Now He As Gorn 2 Far. He Kept On Pesterin Me To Teach Him More And More Tricks. So In The End, I Thought, I Know, I Will Try To Double-Trick Him. So I Said, “Smells, You Are Such A Good Tricker, So You Must Never, Never, Never Play Mister Tidyupp, Ok?” That Made Him Go All Crafty-Lookin. Then Off He Went Rushin And Did A Tidyupp Of His Room. So I Said “Well Done Me” To Myself. But Then He Went And Pulled A Bunch Of Feathers Out Of Stubbs’ Tail For A Duster. They Were The Wuns Stubbs Was Savin Spesh For Loopin The Loop, So He Gave Me A Harsh Peck! All Your Fault For Havin Smells As A Baby Bruv. I Am Not Stayin Here I Single Short Mo Longer, So Tuff, Bang, Doorslam!
And now Stubbs just hid up the chimney saying, “ARK!” meaning he will never darken my doorknob again.
Yours leftalonely,
L ect. (2 upsett to write all of my name down proply, so there)
The Big Hall with all suits of armour ect.
Dear Mum and Dad,
I am all sad without Yeller and Normus here, but good news about Stubbs. He did not like me going snifful parp ect. in my hanky, so out of the chimney hole he popped with a nice present (beakful of crawlycreeps for a snack).
Then off he went flappingly down the shop and fetched me a copy of Wolf Weekly, so he and me could have a nice newsy read together.
Guess what we read in the paper? There is ANOTHER Terror of the Seas. They say he is even more of a Terror than our ancestor Blackfur the Backbiter. This 1 is called Captain Froshus. Oo-er!
Stubbs has cut this story out for you with his clever beak. Do you like it? It has got some fine dizgiz deskies (cannot spell it) dressing up in it.
Your own cub reporter (get it?)
Little Wolf
Terror on the Shivery Sea
Once again, the mysterious Captain Froshus, Master of The Seafox is gaining a reputation as the most ruthless and terrifying pirate ever to sail The Shivery Sea.
cunning disguise
It is said that Captain Froshus has gathered a harsh crew that includes polecats, stoats and vicious wild boars to do his dirty work. They specialize in cunning disguise, so for the moment, the true identity of the captain and crew remain cloaked in secrecy.
witness speaks
Meanwhile, yesterday, three miles off Noname Bay, The Seafox captured two fishing fishing-boats: The Kipper and The Slippery Eel. Ricky Walruss, mate of The Kipper, spoke to our reporter, once he was safely aboard the Swamplands lifeboat.
“We had no chance!” he said. “We was just having a bit of a trawl, like, when we seen this schooner sailing up astern. She must have been lurking up a creek somewhere. We didn’t take much notice, seeing her crew was no more than a parcel of girlies wearing flowery dresses. Then snip my flipper if she didn’t hoist the Snarl and Wishbones and shoot our rudder off with a cannon ball! Then she come right alongside and after that it was Swish Swush Sploosh till I wound up in the drink, minus me wallet and me watch!”
victim tells all
Just before going to press, Wolf Weekly has learned from one of the victims of The Slippery Eel, Able Sealion ‘Honks’ Greymuzzle, that for several hours, he was questioned at pistol-point by Captain Froshus himself. The Captain kept asking what the Able Sealion knew about the hidden treasure of the legendary pirate, Blackfur the Backbiter. Recovering last night in a warm cabin in Riggly Creek, the stunned victim told our reporter that he knew nothing about any hidden treasure or any pirate called Blackfur the Backbiter. Asked to describe Captain Froshus, Able Sealion Greymuzzle said that he couldn’t see his face because he was wearing a mask. However, he spoke very softly, had big staring eyes and smelt strongly of pepper.
warning!
Be warned, readers! No vessel, brute beast or seaside home is safe from the heartless ways of these wicked plunderers. And the shaming fact is that among the whole shocking crew there is not one single wolf!
Editorial: p 15:
Running Out of Huff? Modern Wolves Slip Down the Most Wicked List
Low Branch, Oak Tree, Near Home
Dear Em and Dee,
Thank you for your very fast package saying:
“Hurry up and set Smells a good example Pack up doing cissie reading and Run Away To Sea THIS MINUTE!!!”
You say I MUST FIND that lost treasure of Blackfur’s for you sharply before that Captain Froshus gets his paws on it. But, if Captain Froshus finds it 1st, it is up to me to get it off him, so that I keep up our fearsum family name of Wolf.
Yes, I got the tape of you singing. You say it is an old pack song, sposed to be from Blackfur’s time. It goes:
Seek my treasure in the bay,Where the unicorn doth play!Those who seek without a map,Mind the teeth that snarl and snap!Lucky those who most do itch,Scratch, and lo, ye shall be rich!
