cringing at how it makes me sound just like Andrew. “My son is not an outdoorsy type, but Lucas was right—he’s smart enough to figure out how to get to the bathroom and ba—the compass!”
The detective glances over. “What compass?”
“I gave him one, just this morning. Well, it’s an old surveyor’s compass, but it’s operational, and he knows how to use it.” Hope expands in my chest, soft and light like cotton candy. “If he’s lost, he can use it to find his way back.”
“Or find his way out.”
“Out of the woods?” I shake my head. “You don’t know my son, but he wouldn’t go deeper into the forest on purpose. He’s scared of the dark, and even if he had a flashlight, he’s too much of a rule follower. I just don’t see him doing it.”
“Make sure you tell the sheriff all these things when we get there. He’s going to want to get into Ethan’s head, to better understand what he’s thinking.”
By now it’s close to six, and the sky has gone from pitch-black to gunmetal gray, swollen clouds blocking out the first of the morning light. Most of the 18-wheelers and rush hour travelers are headed in the opposite direction—toward the city—leaving the northbound lanes largely clear. Mountains rise up like behemoths on either side of us, dark rolling ridges disappearing into a thick layer of haze.
Ethan will be okay, I tell myself, repeating the words over and over like a mantra. He’s just lost. Someone will find him soon.
But other words—heart-pounding, breath-stealing words—are louder, firmer, fiercer, tattooed like angry graffiti across my vision. Hungry animals. Bottomless ravines. Toppling trees. For an eight-year-old on his own, the mountains are a perilous place.
“How much longer?”
The detective checks the GPS. “Another forty minutes or so.”
In the dim light of the car, he looks young, almost boyish, but his face carries the weathered look of someone who’s seen it all. As a detective in a city like Atlanta, one that consistently ranks in the top twenty most dangerous places in America, I guess he would have.
A burst of noise erupts from the radio, then falls into silence. It’s been doing this since we left Atlanta, intermittent squawks and disembodied voices speaking in codes and numbers, a secret language of emergency that sends me spiraling into panicky shakes each time I hear them.
“What did they say?”
“Dogs haven’t caught his scent yet. Or at least not his most recent one.”
“What kind of dogs?”
“Air scenters, trackers, trailers. Probably all three, I’d imagine. I don’t know where these ones came from, but a well-trained search-and-rescue dog can find somebody a heck of a lot faster than a human can, and they don’t need daylight to do it.”
“But Ethan disappeared almost four hours ago. What’s taking them so long?”
The detective glances over. “Scent contamination would be the biggest hurdle they’ll have to face. The dogs are trained to discriminate, which means they’ll be able to pick your son’s out of all the other kids’ scents, but it’ll take them a minute to find the right trail, and the most recent one.” He gestures over the dash, to the wipers sloshing rain across the windshield and beyond. “Rain’s not helping, either.”
And it’s the kind of rain that goes on for hours and hours. No sun. No strips of blue sky. Just dark clouds dumping water in blinding, never-ending sheets.
“Because it makes things harder to see?”
“No, because it makes things harder to smell. Search-and-rescue dogs are highly effective, but they can’t scent something that’s washed away, which is what happens after about three inches of rainfall. Wind isn’t good news, either, and neither is cooler air, which creates an updraft when it hits the wet ground. The dog trainers’ll know how to combat weather, and they’ll take all this into account when positioning the dogs, but honestly, these conditions don’t make their job any easier.”
My eyes sting, struck by his less-than-optimistic update. As hard as it is to hear, I appreciate his honesty all the same.
The car radio crackles to life, and I hold my breath and lean in, electric with equal parts hope and dread. I strain to make out the words over the noise of the wipers and rain, but the message emerges slushy with interference. I look to the detective’s expression for guidance. His eyes crinkle into a squint and he rolls his neck before he looks over.
“They’re requesting a description of Ethan’s backpack.”
My heart freezes, and I grip the seat on either side of my legs. “Why, did they find it?”
“Sounds like they’re trying to locate it and need confirmation of the description. As many identifying details as you can give would be helpful.”
“It’s light blue and black, with an Angry Bird on the front. His first and last name is written in Sharpie on the inside flap.”
He relays my answer to the person on the other end of the radio, along with what I just told him about the compass. The voice sputters something back, and he presses the device to his thigh. “Is there anything else that might be used to track him? A cell phone, an iPod touch, gaming electronics, things like that?”
“No. He doesn’t own a cell phone, and I don’t like him playing video games. He’s allowed to use my old iPad, but it’s at home.”
Because I was worried about him losing it. Because I was worried about the cost. A stupid hunk of metal and glass, irrelevant and immaterial until now, when it might have been used to find him.
He repeats my answer into the radio, and there’s a long, static-filled pause. “Copy that,” the voice says, and then is gone.
Macintosh hangs the headset on the hook. “We’re going to want access to your home in order to get to that iPad, see if he’s made any contact with anyone online. They’ll want to take a good look at his bedroom, too.”
“What for?”
“Same reason they’ll have a long list of questions for you—to get in your son’s head. To see if there was anything going on in his life that might be relevant to his disappearance. And before your mind starts going to dark places, the fact he took his backpack is a good thing. It means he was prepared.”
I shake my head, certain of exactly the opposite. “I just don’t see Ethan wandering off in the middle of the night. He wouldn’t have left that cabin, not without explicit permission from his teacher. What about Miss Emma and the chaperones? What about the kids? Somebody must have seen something.”
“If I were standing in your shoes, those are pretty much the first questions I’d ask of the Lumpkin County police. How Ethan disappeared when he was surrounded by all those people.”
And right here, my mind goes to all those dark places the detective told me to avoid. Why didn’t Ethan scream, alert the chaperones? Did he go kicking and screaming or willingly, at the barrel of a gun? How did none of the other kids hear? How come no one saw it happen?
By now
