glared at him. ‘Have you got it or haven’t you?’
‘I’ll spot you.’
Hughie turned. It was Malcolm, Clara’s fiancé.
‘That’s very good of you, Malc.’
‘Think nothing of it! Glad to help!’
Hughie climbed to the top deck and Malcolm struggled up the steps after him.
Malcolm was pretty much the same height and build as Hughie only his centre of gravity resided in his bottom, pulling at him like an undertow. (In prep school he was known as ‘Girlie-Arse Gritton.’) As for his features, everything was just a bit too much; his lips were too thick and red, his nose too long, his eyes bugged out and were framed by strawberry-blond lashes, matching the pinky blond mane on his head. Then, too, he smelt disturbingly of violets.
He threw himself down next to Hughie, or rather almost on top of him, the seat being too snug for grown men.
‘Thanks for paying my fare.’
‘Think nothing of it! What are friends for, right? We are friends, you and I?’ Malcolm looked at him eagerly, blinking his bug eyes.
Hughie hesitated. This wasn’t entirely accurate. If he hadn’t been engaged to his sister, Hughie would’ve preferred to avoid Malcolm. But a man down on his luck couldn’t afford to be pedantic.
‘Sure,’ Hughie smiled.
‘Good stuff! Very good stuff. Oh, God, Hughie! I can’t tell you how difficult things are for me at the moment!’
‘Really?’ Hughie forced a window open. (The violet water was particularly strong today.)
‘Yes! I need a break. Maybe a drink with some friends.’ He stared at Hughie, who was busy eyeing up an Aston Martin that growled into view.
‘Good plan,’ Hughie agreed, wondering if the driver of the Aston was under or over thirty (these questions being of significance to young men who hadn’t yet made their first million).
‘I was hoping you’d say that!’
‘I can always be counted on to endorse a drink.’
‘So, what time would you like to meet?’
‘For what?’
Malcolm peered at him with an anxious smile. ‘Drinks, silly! You said you were my friend.’
‘Yes, yes. But that’s different from … I mean, it’s not the same as having one’s own friends.’
Malcolm straightened. ‘For God’s sake, Hughie, I’m engaged to your sister!’
‘Yes, I know. She’s a lovely girl, don’t you think?’
Malcolm winced, as if retreating from an unseen belt across the jaw. ‘Yes, a lovely girl.’
Hughie had an idea. ‘Maybe she’d like to come along?’
‘Perhaps …’ Malcolm agreed, slowly. ‘Then again, there’s also nothing to prevent us from having a quiet drink on our own.’
‘I just don’t think I’ve got the time, Malc’ Hughie’s phone rang. ‘Excuse me,’ he said, grateful for the interruption.
It was his mother.
‘Hello, Mum.’
‘Yes, a large gin and tonic, please,’ she was saying to the waiter. ‘Oh. Hello, darling, I’m here a little early. How long will you be?’
‘I’m on my way. What time is it, anyway?’
‘Quarter to. How close are you? Shall I order you something to drink?’
‘I’m, uh, somewhere on the Edgware Road.’
‘That’s miles away, Hughie! We’re meant to be meeting at one!’
‘Like I said, Mum, I’m on my way. Traffic’s bad.’
‘This is London, Hughie. Traffic is always bad. A little forward planning wouldn’t go amiss! Really!’
She rang off before he could reply.
(It was going to be a real trick getting any cash out of her today.)
‘You’re in a bit of a pickle,’ Malcolm observed.
‘Oh, you know what they’re like.’
His phone rang again.
‘Where are you?’ Leticia purred.
‘Almost there, darling. Just coming up to Marble Arch.’
‘Marble Arch! Are you in a cab?’
‘No, I’m on the bus, angel.’
‘How quaint!’ she laughed. ‘Is this your way of telling me you don’t fancy me any more? Taking public transport?’
‘No, no! I fancy you like mad!’
‘Then show me. By the way, I’m wearing nothing but double cream.’
She made a low, thoroughly filthy growl before hanging up.
‘Now, there’s a place I know of in Soho where we could meet.’ Malcolm was jotting down the address. ‘Most amusing. Members only …’
‘To be honest, I don’t think I can, Malc.’
‘Oh. Really.’
‘I’ve got a hell of a lot on …’
‘I see.’
‘Tickets, please!’
Swaying in front of them was a ticket inspector, pad at the ready.
Hughie prodded Malcolm. ‘You’ve got my ticket.’
‘Have I?’ Malcolm raised an eyebrow. ‘You know, I’ve got a hell of a lot on, Hughie. I’m not sure I can remember where I put it. Perhaps if I had something to look forward to,’ he sighed, ‘… a drinks engagement perhaps, I might be able to recall what I did with it.’
‘Tickets please, gentlemen!’
Malcolm produced his bus pass with a flourish. ‘Here’s mine!’ He smiled sweetly at Hughie. ‘And you?’
Hughie wished, not for the first time, that his sister would find herself a different beau.
‘You do have a ticket, young man? There’s a fine if you haven’t.’ The inspector tapped his pad. ‘Quite a considerable fine.’
Malcolm shrugged. ‘Oh, dear!’
Hughie
