I watch them for a minute, unsure of the odd, uncomfortable feeling that has wriggled inside me. Maybe I’m just not used to hearing anyone else call my own mother ‘Mum’. I follow on behind them.
The journey home goes quickly. Mum sits in the front and Alice behind me as I take the wheel. Mum is asking her polite questions, like how was her journey, has she had something to eat, has work been okay about letting her have time off? Safe subjects. Alice answers and asks questions in return. Does Mum drive, does she work, what are her hobbies? More safe subjects.
Mum digs out the computer printout of the photo Alice sent. It’s slightly creased and a bit crumpled around the edges. ‘Thank you for the photograph,’ she says flattening it out on her knee. ‘Did you bring any more with you? Any of you growing up over the years?’
I know Mum had asked Alice this in her most recent email. I glance in the rear-view mirror at Alice. She catches my eye and pulls a face that tells me she didn’t.
‘Oops, sorry,’ she says to Mum. ‘You know what? I have this awful feeling I left the photo album I made up for you on the table.’ She slaps her hand to her forehead. ‘Sorry, I’m so dumb at times.’
‘That’s okay, don’t worry,’ says Mum. I can tell Mum is disappointed and her upbeat answer is a ruse.
‘We can take loads of photos while you’re here,’ I say. ‘We can make our own photo album up.’
‘That’s a great idea,’ says Alice enthusiastically. ‘To be honest, I don’t have many photos of me as a child.’ Again, I look in the rear-view mirror. She looks away, out of the window. ‘Dad didn’t take many.’ Her voice has a sadness to it.
‘The girls are looking forward to seeing you,’ I say, to divert the downturn in the mood. I spend the last few miles jabbering on about the girls, what they are like, the things they’ve got up to in the past and how Chloe is the quiet, sensitive one, more cautious in nature and a gentler soul altogether, whereas Hannah is outgoing, fun, adventurous and, at times, rather outspoken.
‘I can’t wait to meet them. I can’t believe I’m an aunt and I have two gorgeous nieces to meet,’ says Alice. ‘And, of course, your husband, Luke. You’re very lucky, you know, to have your family.’
We drive along the winding lane that leads to the house. The flint wall marking the start of the grounds, running along the edge of the pathless road to the black gates.
‘Does it look familiar, at all?’ asks Mum. I think she’s desperate for Alice to have even the faintest memory from her childhood.
‘A little,’ says Alice. ‘I do remember the black gates. For some reason they stand out in my mind.’
I steer the car through the gates and up the gravel driveway. Luke and the girls must have heard the car as they come out to greet us. Luke has plastered on a smile and looks welcoming enough, although I can tell it’s his formal smile. Perhaps he’s not as laid back about it after all. Mind you, we are all on tenterhooks. Tiptoeing around certain subjects in the car, analysing every word, facial expression and body language. I’m sure we will all relax once we get to know each other better.
Alice is out of the car and immediately she goes over to the girls and, crouching down, hugs Hannah first. Hannah looks slightly taken aback and I make eye contact with her over Alice’s shoulder. I raise my eyebrows and smile broadly, it’s an unspoken message Hannah will understand: one I’ve used before which reads – be polite and say nice things. Hannah obliges and smiles at Alice, who then turns her attentions to Chloe. My younger daughter hides behind Luke.
‘Say hello to Alice,’ says Luke, but Chloe clings tighter.
‘It’s okay, she’s just shy. There’s plenty of time to make friends,’ says Alice. She stands up and faces Luke, who holds his hand out to her.
‘I’m Luke. Clare’s husband. Nice to meet you.’
She shakes Luke’s hand. ‘Alice Kendrick. The pleasure is all mine.’ She gives a small laugh. ‘Now we’ve got the formal English greeting over with, how about a good old American hello?’ She lunges forward and gives Luke a hug. ‘It’s so nice to be here,’ she says.
It’s Luke’s turn to look over at me from Alice’s shoulder. He has a help me look on his face. I smother a laugh and Mum admonishes me with a tap on the arm. Luke winks at me and removes himself from Alice’s embrace.
‘Right, let’s get inside,’ says Mum. ‘You must be worn out, darling. Luke, can you bring Alice’s bags in, please?’
Mum and Alice head off into the house. Luke gives a tug of his fringe, dipping his head at the two departing women. ‘Yes, m’lady.’ Mum appears not to hear, thankfully.
‘Stop it,’ I say, half-heartedly. I go over to Luke and give him a kiss. ‘Well, it seems the ice has been broken. How about I give you a good old American hello?’ I put my arms around his neck and kiss him again.
‘Better not let your mother see you fraternising with the staff,’ says Luke, returning the kiss. ‘As for the American hello, I’ll give you a traditional Tennison hello later.’ He gives my backside a playful smack as he sidesteps out of my arms and goes to fetch Alice’s bags.
I’m smiling to myself as I turn to go in. As I look up, I see Alice standing at the doorway watching us. I shield my eyes from the early morning sun with one hand and wave to her with the other. She smiles broadly and returns the wave before disappearing inside the house. It’s a much more comforting sight than when I last saw her in the doorway. I give my head a small shake and push the sad memory away. The cold days are in the past. The sun is shining and I feel a warmth within me that has been overshadowed for many years but now is finally breaking free.
Later that evening, when the girls have gone to bed, Hannah being allowed to stay up a bit later than usual because of our guest. Luke tactfully makes his excuses about needing to get some more work done, to leave me, Mum and Alice alone in the living room.
‘I’ll make us some supper,’ says Mum. ‘I’ve got some cheese and crackers. Do you want tea, Clare? Coffee, Alice?’
We both thank Mum and for the first time since Alice arrived, over twelve hours ago, we are on our own.
‘So, how long have you guys been married?’ asks Alice.
‘Oh, erm … must be coming up for eight years now.’
Alice cocks her head. ‘Eight? And how old is Hannah?’
‘Seven. I was four months pregnant when we got married.’ I’m not embarrassed at all by this. It’s not exactly shocking news these days. I suppose it’s only natural that she’s curious about her new family, but all the same, I feel strangely uncomfortable that she might be judging me as she does the maths.
‘Oh, I see,’ she says and smiles knowingly.
‘We would have got married whether I was pregnant or not,’ I add hastily, wishing she’d take that look of amusement off her face. ‘We’d only just started going out but we always say we knew from about our third date that we wanted to be together. It just felt right.’
‘Love at first sight,’ says Alice. ‘Or was it lust?’
I laugh. ‘Too
