as many of your beliefs as you can think of. Include such things as your attitude toward religion, capital punishment, minority rights, reincarnation, young people, old people, nontraditional medicine, what happens at death, your cultural biases, the ability to perform miracles.
From this inventory be honest about how many of your firmly held beliefs are the result of your own life experiences, and how many have been handed to you. Make an effort to open your mind to experiencing things directly before proclaiming them as true and living by them.
Expose yourself to belief systems that are in opposition to those you are familiar with. Experience what it is like to walk in the shoes of those who are different from you. The more of these “contrary” experiences you allow yourself, the more you will know your truth.
Refuse to be seduced into arguments on the basis of ideas that have been foisted upon you by well-meaning others. In other words, stop giving energy to the things you don’t believe in, or know to be inapplicable to you!
ACTING SIMPLY
True leaders
are hardly known to their followers.
Next after them are the leaders
the people know and admire;
after them, those they fear;
after them, those they despise.
To give no trust
is to get no trust.
When the work’s done right,
with no fuss or boasting,
ordinary people say,
“Oh, we did it.”
LAO-TZU
(SIXTH CENTURY B.C.)
Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu wrote the Tao Te Ching, which means The Way. It is the basis for the religious practice of Taoism.
I am frequently amazed at how many contemporary politicians refer to themselves as “leaders” by virtue of the fact that they hold public office. Historically it is clear that public office holders are seldom the true leaders causing change. For instance, who were the leaders of the Renaissance? Were they the public office holders? Were the leaders the mayors, governors, and presidents of the European capitals? No indeed.
The leaders were the artists, writers, and musicians who listened to their hearts and souls and expressed what they heard, leading others to discover a resonating voice within themselves. Ultimately the entire world listened with a new awareness that was responsible for the triumph of human dignity over tyranny. True leaders are rarely the officials who are addressed by a title.
Consider what titles you are known by and how you attempt to live up to them. You may carry the title of mother or father, which is an awesome responsibility. When your advice is sought because the kids see you as a leader in the family, keep in mind that what you truly want them to be able to say is, “I did it myself,” rather than give you credit. Seek to enhance your leadership qualities by being constantly alert to the mistake of thinking that your title makes you a leader. True leaders are not known by titles. It is ego that loves titles!
Helping others to become leaders while exercising your own true leadership qualities means having to work hard at suspending ego’s influence. True leaders enjoy the trust of others, which is very different from enjoying the perks and flattery and power that ego insists are the signs of being a leader. You need to give trust to others in order to receive that trust.
Notice the times that you are inclined to insist that others do it your way or take the highway. Lao-tzu tells us that the leader with this attitude is the least effective and most despised. Your leadership style may tend to create fear with statements like, “I’ll punish you if you don’t do it my way.” Lao-tzu tells us that fearbased leaders are poorly qualified to genuinely lead. The leader whose motivation is to bask in admiration, according to Lao-tzu, is still not a master at leading. This style might say, “I’ll give you a reward if you do it the way I want you to.” The true leader acts in such a way as to be hardly known in the entire process. This leader offers trust, encouragement, and congratulations as others find their own way.
When our lawmakers tell us what we need, or use scare tactics to predict dire consequences, or attempt to get us to act out of admiration for their leadership, they are not true leaders. To qualify as true leaders they must silence themselves and hear the populace express, “Yes, we created this great economy ourselves.”
And so it is with you also. To be a true leader in your own life, and in the lives of others, practice resisting the need to be recognized. Lead unobtrusively, offering trust whenever possible. Gently smile at your ego’s desire to take credit and silently acknowledge your true leadership when you hear others say, “Oh, yes, we did that ourselves.” Here are some suggestions for applying the wisdom of Lao-tzu:
Before acting, stop and ask yourself if what you are about to say is going to create hate, fear, admiration, or self-awareness. Choose to nurture self-awareness.
Act on your desire to be a true leader by being as quietly effective as possible. Catch someone doing something right!
Become aware that it is the ego part of you that is suggesting you are a failure. Rather than seeing yourself as a failure when no credit comes your way, remind yourself that you have succeeded as a leader, and good-naturedly let your ego know that this is the way to successful leadership.
Do not be desirous of having
things done quickly. Do not
look at small advantages.
Desire to have things done
quickly prevents their being
done thoroughly. Looking
at small advantages prevents
great affairs from being
accomplished.
CONFUCIUS
(551 B.C.–479 B.C.)
Confucius was a Chinese teacher and philosopher whose philosophy strongly influenced Chinese life and culture for over two thousand years.
I have this quote from the ancient Chinese teacher and philosopher Confucius pasted above my typewriter as a gentle daily reminder not to do anything that will prevent “great affairs” from being accomplished. It seems to me that we have a great deal to learn from our nature about how we hinder our greatness. Yet it is our nature that we often ignore in favor of what our mind tells us is the way things ought to be.
Patience is a key ingredient in the process of the natural world and in
