see. I don’t know what I thought you were going to say but it definitely wasn’t that.’
‘I’m sorry,’ said Charlie and she meant it. This man must have loved Helen once, so it couldn’t have been easy for him to hear.
‘So how does this affect me?’
‘Social Services said I should inform you. There’s a lot of confusion over who will be guardian for the children, but it was Helen’s wish that they should all be kept together. There’s four of them,’ she said, trying to mimic his unemotional tone and failing badly. ‘That includes your child, Ted,’ she added in haste, just in case that wasn’t blindingly obvious.
‘Thank you for letting me know,’ he said and this was followed by a long pause, which Charlie filled by silently waving her right arm in circles like a prompter on a film set.
‘Is that it?’ she said at last.
‘As far as I can tell, there is nothing for me to do. Do tell me if I’m wrong.’
‘Maybe there isn’t anything for you to do. But your child has been orphaned…’ as she said the word she knew it wasn’t technically correct, but to hell with it, she was on a roll now, ‘so I guess I thought that you might want to know how he was feeling.’ A chilly silence ensued. There was a brief sigh from Anthony’s end and Charlie pulled the phone away from her ear to give it a stern look.
‘How is he?’ asked Anthony, at last starting to sound a little uncomfortable.
‘Not great, he’s recently lost his parents, who loved him very much.’ Charlie couldn’t help herself. She was trying very hard not to turn completely unreasonable but she knew it wouldn’t take much. After the events of the last few days the emotions had been building up inside her.
‘Quite. Look, Charlie was it? I don’t do kids. I don’t know the person you’re talking about. I’m not about to give you my life story, but Helen and I went our separate ways after university. It was her decision to have the baby and she wanted to do it alone.’
‘Because it’s every woman’s dream to be a single parent?’ she said. Or because you were, and apparently still are, a useless, unfeeling tosser, she added silently?
‘Thank you for calling. You’ve done what Social Services asked you to do, but let’s leave things as they are. I don’t know if you thought this would be a long-lost family reunion opportunity but I can assure you that it isn’t and it never will be. Am I making myself clear?’ he said with a firmness that sent Charlie’s irritation level up another notch.
‘Perfectly,’ she said, with as much venom as she could inject into the all-too-short word. She put the phone back on its holder with force and it gave a friendly chirrup of acknowledgement. The ‘Kipper List’ had a new starring member.
Charlie was about to tidy up when she was aware of a figure in the doorway. She turned around to see Ted standing there.
‘Are you going to bed?’ Charlie asked him. He was fresh out of the shower and wearing his dad’s dressing gown, which she noted looked only a little too big for him.
‘In a bit. Who was that?’ he asked, trying and failing badly to look uninterested. Charlie was good at many things and in her time she had been an Oscar-winning liar, but not any more, and certainly not with the children.
‘It was Anthony Penton, your birth father. Social Services asked me to call him so he knew what had happened.’
Ted gave a half-pout and nodded.
‘You okay?’ asked Charlie.
‘Yeah. So he doesn’t want to meet up or anything?’
‘No, I’m afraid not.’
‘No, that’s good, because I don’t want to either. He’s like… not bothered with me before… so he’s no one, right?’
‘He’s still your birth father, Ted, but that doesn’t make him an instant replacement dad, especially if he doesn’t want to be.’ Charlie was trying to be as honest as she could without sounding heartless. This sort of thing was very cut-and-dried for Charlie; parents were the people who looked after you and earned the right to have the title ‘mum’ or ‘dad’, not some donor who never got in touch. What they had supplied you could pick up off the internet at a reasonable price.
‘Charlie, it’s all right. Look I’m fine,’ and Ted gave a cheesy grin. ‘I’m not interested in him. I lost my dad in a car accident and I get that he’s the only one I’m likely to have. But, hey, if you’re going to only have one, then I was lucky to have the best…’ and that was where Ted’s voice broke and he disappeared upstairs two at a time. Charlie hesitated for a second but decided to let him go. She knew he was hurting exactly the same as the younger children, but she had only seen him cry at the funeral and even then he had stifled it. She could go upstairs now, but she and Ted had never had a relationship where a cuddle was acceptable, and now wasn’t the time to start.
Charlie checked on the other children, as she did every night before she went to bed herself. She stood outside Ted’s door and listened to the muffled sniffs of a boy trying very hard to control his tears. She placed her hand on the door handle and stood there fighting with her choices and the implications of opening the door. When at last it went silent inside, her hand fell away from the doorknob and she went to bed.
Fleur’s parents had been out when she had got home, but there was a long note from her mother on the breakfast bar about Clyde throwing a shoe and Ralph causing all sorts of upset when the blacksmith came, plus details of a potential meal that was in the freezer, with instructions for reheating and directions as to where to find the salad to accompany it and a dessert. She had also left contact details, as they were at some National Trust dinner. Fleur suspected that the hosts were after her father’s company to provide some sort of sponsorship; that was what a free meal or trip usually meant. She re-read the note and ran her fingers over the last line – All our love M & P xxxx. Her mother always put four kisses on the bottom of notes and cards to Fleur or her sister Poppy.
Poppy had an altogether different relationship with their parents. Fleur wondered when they had stopped treating Poppy like a child and tried not to get grumpy about it. She helped herself to a glass of water and leant on the cool granite surface. Poppy had always been more independent that she had. She was always an ‘I can do it myself’ sort of child and that had developed further as they had grown up, but the point was that Charlie was right, Fleur had never completely grown up. She hated it when Charlie was right. She didn’t want to admit it and she certainly wasn’t going to let Charlie know, but it was foolish not to accept it herself.
She missed Poppy. They were closer than most sisters she knew of. Over the years they had had their moments, as all siblings did. Sometimes they seemed perfectly suited but at other times it would feel as if Poppy had left her behind and that she was playing catch-up. She loved Poppy immensely, but as they had grown up it had become clear that they were two very different people. Poppy was academic and wanted to make her own way in the world, ideally without any input from her father’s name or money. Whereas Fleur had taken the scenic route, had drifted through school and had completely lost her way after her exams. Her forays into various college courses had amounted to nothing. And here she was again with absolutely nothing to do.
Fleur put her hand in her pocket and pulled out the folded note and the business card and placed them side by side on the granite top. There
