her head, she moved forward and continued in a whisper, ‘Tony was snared by you. You saw him, and you took him, and you didn’t give a damn whether my marriage or our friendship was torn apart or not!’
When Marie tried to speak, Eileen firmly shook her head. ‘I don’t want to hear your excuses. It took a while but I finally believed him when he insisted that he was sorry. That he was ashamed and needed my forgiveness.’
When Marie lowered her gaze, Eileen hissed in her ear, ‘Tony will be back any minute with the rest of our luggage, and I don’t want him to hear what we’re talking about. He is a good man. All right, he did a bad thing, he made one mistake, but you went for him, you set your cap at him, and you meant to take him away from me. Be honest … wasn’t that the case?’
‘No! Believe me, Eileen, I never intended to take him away from you. It was an emotional moment, a mad moment of loneliness. My Derek had died just two months before and I was a mess. I needed to talk to you. It was you I came to see, Eileen – my one and only friend – and I so needed you. But you weren’t there, and Tony was, and I was distraught.’
Recalling the occasion with embarrassment and guilt, she fought back the tears. ‘I’m so sorry … I truly am. Please, Eileen … please believe me, it was a moment of grief and emotion … I was in a bad place. Oh, Eileen! If I could turn the clock back, I would, I swear!
‘But I needed help, and Tony comforted me, and yes, I held onto him. It was a fleeting, crazy thing we did, but at the end of the day it meant nothing. It was wrong, it was never meant to happen.’ When she reached out to take Eileen’s hand, Eileen moved it away.
Looking Marie in the eye, she told her firmly, ‘Tony is my world. I know how a woman can seduce a man if she wants him badly enough. I forgave Tony, eventually, but we were miles apart for a long time. We nearly broke up. For months I agonised about you and Tony, but because I love him I was desperate to put it all behind us which we have now.’ In a low, trembling voice, she admitted, ‘I honestly did try to forgive you too, but in the end I couldn’t do it because of what you confessed to me about the baby and how you dealt with it … I never imagined you could ever do that!’
After a moment, her voice shaking with emotion, she went on softly, ‘Even though it was a long time ago … it still shocks me! I really did think about whether we could mend bridges on this holiday, but your confession kept coming back to haunt me – about the pregnancy and the decision to end your unborn child’s life. How could you do it, Marie? How could you? It was Tony’s child too! You at least should have talked it through with him. Why didn’t you come to me before you did it? Why didn’t you tell me what you were planning to do? We were friends.’
‘I wanted to tell you, but I was so afraid, so hopelessly mixed up. I was going out of my mind, Eileen. It was never meant to happen. I was a woman over forty. I had lost my Derek just months before. One minute he was there – my haven – and then he was gone, and I was hopelessly lost. My whole life was suddenly turned upside down. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t work. I got behind with the mortgage. I was ashamed to tell my daughter. And then I could not even afford to keep the house.’
All the bad memories came rushing back. ‘I tried and struggled, and there was nowhere to turn. And then, not realising I was pregnant, but knowing I was finding things increasingly difficult, my daughter and son-in-law offered to take me in to live with them. So, I sold my cottage, and did that. I have never regretted it, but I missed my Derek so much! Life seemed unbearably lonely, but I counted myself fortunate in having a loving family about me, and I was hugely grateful for that.’
Choking back a sob, she went on, ‘Then I discovered I was pregnant. I was afraid and ashamed. It was an impossible situation, but I had to deal with it in the only way I could. My head was bursting. I felt suicidal. I had to make a decision, Eileen, and it had to be settled quickly. I simply had no choice but to do what I did.’ She fell silent, because that was as far as she dared go with that particular subject.
Eileen hissed, ‘I do not want Tony to know the truth about the pregnancy, and what you did. Do you understand?’ She continued quietly, ‘It’s far too late for regrets. And as we’re being honest with each other there is something you need to be made aware of.’ She leaned closer to Marie. ‘After we leave here, I never want to see you again. Do you understand?’
Sad to the heart, Marie nodded.
Eileen stole a glance towards the lift, but Tony had not yet reappeared. ‘What I am telling you now, Marie, must never be repeated. Not to anyone. Will you promise?’
Marie nodded. ‘Yes … I promise.’
Eileen leaned closer to Marie. ‘I have never told anyone this, but I need you to know so maybe you can fully understand my pain and disgust at what you did.’
Taking a deep breath, she addressed Marie in the softest whisper. ‘I knew Tony was bitterly disappointed that we were never blessed with children. I felt I’d let him down, but as the years rolled on he seems finally to have got over his disappointment at not being a father, but it was always secretly his dearest wish.’
Her voice wavered as she went on and she forced a smile. ‘The truth is, I’m used to it. I like my life as it is now, just the two of us. So, that is why I never want Tony to know you were left with his child and you did away with it. Always remember, Marie, that it was your wickedness, not mine! I can’t even begin to imagine what pain it would cause him! Do you understand what I’m saying?’
‘I understand.’ She knew she’d robbed him of a different kind of future. ‘And I promise he will never know it from me. Not ever!’
Marie had come here to unburden herself of her deepest secret and try to do the right thing but in just two days she had come to realise that her life – and that of her family – was a far more tangled web than she’d naively thought.
‘He won’t know from me,’ Marie repeated. How quickly she had changed her mind. ‘You have my absolute word he will never know from me. I’m sorry. I really wish I had never confided in you,’ she added.
She felt both cursed and blessed. And now she made a silent prayer that, in the end, all would be right without pain or hardship to the people she respected and loved.
A taxi was seen drawing up to the kerb and now the driver was in the hotel foyer calling, ‘Taxi to the station for Marie Foster.’
Marie waved her hand. ‘That’s me! Thank you … I’ll just be a minute.’
In a low whisper, Marie put a tearful question to her former friend. ‘Eileen, please. Will there ever be the smallest chance, that one day you will forgive me? For what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry,’ she promised earnestly, ‘and if there was any way I could turn back the clock I would do it in a heartbeat.’
When Eileen’s silence was the only reply, Marie could not blame her old friend. However, even now, in her deepest heart, Marie was convinced that although people, including herself, had been hurt, she had done the best she could in a bad situation.
‘Don’t hate me, Eileen … please?’ she asked with a shaky smile.
‘I can’t help how I feel, Marie, but before we part I need to emphasise what I said in the note I left for you the other night. I could never bring myself to tell Tony that you aborted his child. What purpose would it have served when the deed was already done? What difference would it have made to tell him then? None whatsoever! So I made a decision that I would never tell him. I did not want him to know then, and
