Do You Remember the First Time?. Jenny Colgan

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I asked. Even my voice sounded ridiculously high-pitched and screeching.

      ‘Who?’ he said gruffly. I’d noticed this already. OK, I was scruffily dressed, but he was eyeing me warily, as if I was looking for trouble. Had they done this when I was really sixteen? I couldn’t remember. Perhaps I’d been a tad wrapped up in myself.

      ‘S-C-U-R-R-I-S-O-N.’

      He shook his head. ‘No one here by that name, love. Sure you’ve got the right address?’

      On some level I had known that was going to happen, but it was a real slap in the face. On the way I’d tried going into the bank with my account details. That hadn’t yielded anything either. But a big fear – of running into myself – didn’t seem to be on the cards, not yet at least.

      ‘Shouldn’t you be in school?’

      Jimmy, I suddenly remembered, had a daughter … er, my age.

      ‘Probably,’ I said, then turned to go. ‘Say hi to Jinty for me.’

      ‘What? Are you one of her friends?’

      No. At the moment, as far as I could see, I literally didn’t have a friend in the world. I had ceased to exist. I was no one. While everyone else, Jinty included, was still going strong.

      As I turned to go, I nearly ran smack into my boss, Karl Dean, a sour, halitosis-ridden old man with a dour world view, as useful for accounting as it was miserable for his life and for anyone else who ever came within three feet of him. He looked at me without blinking. There wasn’t a second’s worth of recognition. He didn’t even look at me as if he thought I reminded him of someone but he couldn’t quite place me.

      Beside him there was someone who could have been me but was not me. It was the woman from the flat. She was looking nervous, and fiddling with her spectacles.

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