D
DAIBUTSU
In 743, Shomu, the forty-fifth Emperor of Japan, ordered an urgent meeting of his most trusted advisors.
‘Look,’ he told them, ‘things can’t go on like this. Recently we’ve had a smallpox epidemic, widespread crop failure, and—stone the crows—even an attempted coup. I’m beginning to get the feeling that someone up there doesn’t really like me, you know what I mean?’
One of Shomu’s advisors awkwardly cleared his throat.
‘If by “someone” you mean Buddha, master, then I have a plan…’ he declared cautiously.
‘Oh aye?’ yawned Shomu. ‘Let’s hear it, then.’
As he spoke, the advisor warmed more and more to his idea. ‘Why don’t we build an absolutely flippin’ humungous statue of the Buddha, say around sixteen metres tall, with its fingers alone each the size of a human being? It will use up almost the country’s entire stock of copper, but you wait and see if any more droughts or whatever occur after we’ve erected that little effort at Todaiji temple in Nara…master.’
‘You mean like a dedication, right?’ said Shomu. ‘Sounds great—get cracking, lad.’
Nine years later, the statue finally completed, an Indian priest named Bodhisena conducted the ‘eyeopening’ ceremony in front of some 10 000 people. Since then (and it has been rather a long time) such calamities as earthquakes and fires have caused the Daibutsu of Todaiji to have to be rebuilt on several occasions; but—though a little smaller than it was originally—it can still be visited to this very day.
DHARMA DOLLS
Expect to see these in many Japanese homes and businesses, as a general sort of good-luck charm. The doll is a depiction of Bodhidharma, the wandering monk who’s often accredited with having started the Chinese kung-fu style of fighting, along with establishing Zen as a means of attaining Enlightenment (See Buddhism).
Bodhidharma generally favoured walking as a means of transportation; although on occasion (legend informs us) he chose to float across a river on a single reed. However, after nine years sat facing a cave wall in a state of deep meditation, his legs and arms either atrophied or fell off altogether, depending on what version of the story you choose to believe. In any case, this is the reason why the Dharma doll has no limbs painted upon it. (I can only assume that Bodhidharma introduced kung-fu to the world before he suffered such grave injuries.)
Dharma dolls are bought without their eyes having been painted in; the owner is supposed to do this him-or herself—one eye at a time—when a particular wish or desire has been fulfilled.
Bodhidharma is said to have had a particularly piercing stare—caused, no doubt, by the fact that he once amputated his own eyelids in a fit of rage after he fell asleep while meditating. These eyelids fell to earth and from them, believe it or not, sprouted the first tea plants.
DIAZ, CAMERON
Just what does your average Hollywood superstar do when their bank-balance needs topping up? Well, they can always—in the case of Ms Diaz, or indeed Brad Pitt—appear in a Japanese television commercial for a mobile phone company. Such commercials play upon an actor’s general image: Diaz hams up her familiar ‘kooky’ role by awkwardly pushing a loaded supermarket trolley with one hand, advertised mobile firmly clamped to her ear with the other, one high-heeled shoe about to fall off as she walks pigeon-toed while chattering away. Brad Pitt, meanwhile, is strolling through an exquisite garden as he talks into his phone. He passes two attractive women, who distract his attention and with whom he exchanges flirtatious glances. Not looking where he is going, he stumbles into an ankle-high water feature.
Ho ho!
While they are undoubtedly paid ludicrous amounts of money for such commercials (the soundtrack for which, incidentally, is Aerosmith’s Walk This Way), Ms Diaz and Mr Pitt do seem willing to poke a little fun at themselves. Catherine Zeta-Jones, however, in a commercial for a brand of shampoo (or conditioner, or something) appears to have been transformed into some kind of modern-day Greek goddess: eyes sparkling, lips pouting and black hair dutifully gleaming as she stands upon a floodlit podium with (in near-darkness), a cast of thousands below her, all of them pointing, gasping, taking photos, fawning, fainting, etc.
It’s tastefully done, anyway, and doubtless helps sell said product.
DťJť
Traditional training hall for Japanese martial arts. A dŦjŦ may have bare wooden floorboards for such martial arts as karate or kendŦ , or a special type of tatami for budŦ that involve throwing, i.e., judŦ and aikidŦ.
Strictly speaking, a dŦjŦ should be cleaned by the lower-grade students either prior to or after the training session, although in all but the strictest dŦjŦ that’s gone rather out of the window.
It used to be that a student wishing to join a dŦjŦ—particularly if its head sensei had a particularly good reputation—was permitted to do nothing else except clean the dŦjŦ for anything up to a year before they were considered a student and allowed to begin their training.
Unlike some dŦjŦ nowadays, then, it wasn’t all too common to find lots of fourteen-year-old black belts strutting around.
DťKYť
A Buddhist monk, DŦkyŦ was present at the Imperial Court in Heijo-kyo (present day Nara) when, in 761, the Empress Koken fell sick and seemed likely to die. Somehow DŦkyŦ succeeded in curing her, and the grateful Empress subsequently made him her Prime Minister. Soon it was popularly believed that the Empress and the monk were embroiled in an affair; DŦkyŦ himself was rumoured to be extremely well-endowed. (A saying of the time was that ‘…when DŦkyŦ sits down, three knees protrude’.)
The monk, however, was getting greedy for more power. In fact, he declared that no less than a Shinto god or kami had declared that he was to be the next Emperor. Curiously, this seems not to have annoyed the Empress Koken (or ShŦtoku, as she was now known). In any case, DŦkyŦ continued to live within Nara, enjoying his many privileges and doubtless exercising his third knee on occasion.
But his arrogance had angered many within the Imperial Court—and when ShŦtoku died in 770, DŦkyŦ’s enemies were at last able to have their revenge. DŦkyŦ was banished to a distant part of Japan, where he languished in obscurity for the following two years until his death, aged seventy-two.
DRINK DRIVING
Alcoholism has long been recognised as being almost epidemic within Japan, particularly manifesting itself in drink driving. In fact, in any given week you can almost guarantee that several police officers will be arrested for the offence (and this is an entry that I will, for obvious reasons, leave entirely free of any ‘comic’ exaggeration).
On television, news reporters can frequently be seen running up to people who are obviously not
