blinked hard, trying to prevent her tears from spilling. She’d promised herself that she wasn’t going to cry because she’d wanted this to happen; she’d made it happen by instigating the break-up with Matt, and yet the huge swelling of unhappiness that filled her shocked her to the core.
‘Do you mind if we change the subject?’ She looked at Janey and, for a moment, neither said anything.
‘Okay,’ Janey whispered, sensing her friend’s discomfort. ‘But that’s not all that’s bugging you, is it?’
Nina shook her head. ‘Like I said last night – my whole life’s a mess.’
‘Come on then – let’s hear it,’ Janey took a sip of wine, as if she needed fortifying before hearing Nina’s next confession.
‘Work,’ Nina said, making the word sound as if it were some newly discovered disease.
‘Well, that makes a change,’ Janey said with a tut.
‘I nearly walked out this morning,’ Nina confessed, closing her eyes and reliving the nightmare again.
‘Why didn’t you, then?’ Janey asked, having long been aware of Nina’s ability to aspire to something rather than to act.
‘But where would I walk to?’
‘God – you’re always so practical!’ Janey chided. ‘You spend far too much time thinking, and not enough time doing. Sometimes you should just go for it.’
Nina sighed. ‘That’s easy for you to say. You’ve got a great job. But not everyone’s dad owns a travel agency and sends his daughter to Greece every other week.’
‘Hey – that’s research for our new brochure!’
‘You’re the only person I know who hasn’t experienced a British winter for the past ten years,’ Nina said good-naturedly.
Janey giggled. ‘I know. I’ve been lucky.’
‘Yes, you have,’ Nina smiled, ‘but you deserve it. The most exotic place I get to visit is the local sandwich bar whenever her ladyship wants a BLT. Other than that, it’s the photocopy room or, on a good day, the stock cupboard. I wouldn’t mind so much if she was civil to me.’
‘She’s a cow!’ Janey stated with a frown.
‘Janey!’ Nina said in a reprimanding tone, although she was laughing, too.
‘Oh, you’re such a saint, Nina, but Hilary Jackson would even make a saint swear. Why don’t you admit it – she’s a complete bitch who doesn’t value you a jot!’
‘Oh, Janey!’ Nina couldn’t help giggling at her friend’s passionate defence of her.
‘What about when she made you take that enormous file home to put all those invoices into date order?’
‘I know, but I guess it was a job that had to be done,’ Nina said with a shrug, before taking the biggest sip of wine she could.
‘Yes, but in company time – not when you had a girls’ night out planned. I bet she didn’t pay you overtime for it either, did she?’
Nina shook her head. ‘No, she didn’t,’ she said, realising that she had been trampled on for so long that even her friend had noticed. Why oh why hadn’t she done anything about it before, she wondered? But perhaps the time was now. After all, she had taken control and ended things with Matt, so surely she could do the same with Hilary, she reasoned. This, she realised, could be a whole new beginning for her.
‘And remember when she swore at you for sending that letter to the wrong director – which was her fault anyway because she couldn’t ever get her facts straight.’
Nina sighed. ‘I know, I know!’
‘And there’s no need for her to be so rude to you all the time. That woman’s got more hard edges than a Neolithic flint! It’s not on.’ Janey shook her head in despair. ‘So what are we going to do about it?’
‘I don’t know – something,’ Nina said, suddenly hiccupping.
‘Oh, no, Nina – not hiccups again! That’s another thing too. I never knew you to hiccup before you took that dreadful job.’
‘Of course I hiccupped! Everyone hiccups.’
‘Yes, but not like that. Not with nervous tension.’
‘It’s not nervous tension. It’s probably just wine,’ Nina said, giving her loudest hiccup yet.
‘You know what you should do, of course? You should just tell Hilary Jackson where she can stick her job and leave,’ Janey advised, getting into her stride as agony aunt.
‘You think so?’ Nina said, a tiny smile emerging at last.
‘Yes I do.’
‘Just like that?’
‘Just like that. Clear your desk out, tell her what you really think of her and go. Easy. You’re far too good to be stuck in that box with Hilary forever. You’re intelligent, attractive—’
‘Soon-to-be unemployed—’ Nina hiccupped again.
‘No! You’ve got to be positive about this. Employers will be trampling over each other to get you on board.’ Janey smiled encouragingly, not happy at seeing her friend so down. ‘Come on, Nina! You’ve been depressed about this for months now. Something’s got to change, hasn’t it? What’s happened to the old girl I know and love – eh? The girl whose picture is in the dictionary under “vivacious”?’
Nina rolled her eyes in disbelief.
‘Well, obviously not today,’ Janey agreed, and a moment’s silence elapsed. ‘Okay,’ Janey began again, ‘let me put it this way. In an ideal world – what would you do? If you could do anything – what would it be?’
Nina looked into her wine glass. What did she want? What did she truly want? She knew it had nothing to do with the present life she was leading, but was an alternative life waiting out there for her? One in which she was truly valued for whom she was? She looked up at Janey.
‘I’d like to go back to the office and press Hilary’s delete button.’
Janey laughed, not really expecting Nina to come out with such an answer. ‘Then do it!’
‘I don’t know. I’ve always been taught not to throw too much caution to the wind in case it changes direction and slaps you in your face.’
‘Look,’ Janey said, placing a tanned hand on Nina’s right shoulder, ‘I think you’ve already made up your mind about this, haven’t you?’
‘Have I?’
‘Yes – you have,’ Janey said, giving her friend’s shoulder a squeeze. ‘So, you might as well try and have a bit of fun. Just repeat after me: “I’m going to tell Hilary where she can stick her job.”
