They had been so close, so very much in love, joined at the hip to M’s way of thinking. Then suddenly, unexpectedly he was gone … just like that, in the flicker of an eyelash. He had been only thirty-three, far too young.
At the time, her elder brother had said life was full of surprises, 75 per cent of them bad. She had disagreed with him, chiding him, calling him a cynic, but now she wasn’t so sure that he was wrong. Life did have a way of coming up to hit you in the face. Her father’s comment during this conversation had been typical of him. He had reminded her, and her brother, that what was meant to be would be, and that life had its own rules, and they were rules no one could change. M sighed under her breath, stood with her hand on the teapot, thinking about her sister, missing her more than ever at this moment. They had always been close, best friends.
‘Did I offend you, M? About the tea, I mean?’
M jumped, startled, and swung around to face Dax, exclaiming, ‘I didn’t hear you come into the kitchen. You made me jump.’
‘Sorry.’
M grinned at him. ‘Of course you didn’t upset me, Dax. I’m not so easily offended, you know.’ She frowned at him, added, ‘You still look chilled to the bone. This hot tea will help.’ She reached into the cupboard as she spoke, took out two mugs, poured the tea and added milk. Carrying the mugs to the table under the window, she went on, ‘Come along, Dax, come and sit with me here.’
Tightening the belt of the towelling robe, shrugging into it for warmth, he joined her, sat down opposite and put his hands around the mug. ‘I came looking for Geo,’ he volunteered after a few seconds. ‘But I’m glad she’s not here. I realize it’s you I want to talk to … I feel more comfortable with you when I need to discuss my problems.’
‘You know I’ll help if I can,’ M murmured, eyeing him carefully, thinking that perhaps it was Geo he wanted to talk about. She couldn’t imagine why he said he felt more comfortable discussing his problems with her, when he had never done such a thing in the past. It’s just his way of getting around his awkwardness, she decided, and said, ‘Go on, then, Dax, tell me what’s wrong.’
‘Everything,’ he answered after a moment or two of thought. ‘And because nothing is going right for me here, I’m seriously considering going to LA.’
‘Do you mean permanently, or simply for a visit?’ she asked.
‘Permanently. You know I want to be an actor, not a male model, and I think the only way I’m going to make it is by moving to LA, taking a chance out there.’
M’s dark eyes narrowed, and she said, very slowly, ‘But Dax, you’d just be changing one city for another. You’ll take your problems along with you.’
‘Not all of them. If I do move, I will be leaving Geo behind, and that will certainly solve one problem.’
‘It will? Which one?’
‘My muddled-up love life.’
‘Is it muddled? Really and truly?’ She sat back, took a sip of tea, and looked at Dax over the rim of the mug, waiting for a response.
‘I think it is. Look, my relationship with Geo has stalled. Actually, if you want the truth, it’s stagnant. I do care about her, and I thought I’d connected with the love of my life when we first got involved. But it’s just not going smoothly, and I think she’s lost interest in me … and I’ve got to confess my passion for her has been diluted.’ He sat back in the chair and took a long swallow of the tea, relieved to unburden himself.
‘Perhaps that’s because you think she’s lost interest in you, and I’m certain she hasn’t … she’s always happy when you call her, I can attest to that. I live here, remember.’
‘There’s another problem, actually,’ Dax volunteered and, leaning closer across the table, he whispered, ‘I’ve fallen for someone else … Geo’s been away a lot lately, and I’ve been on my own, and well, look, I met someone who really turns me on, and who’s crazy about me.’
‘Oh.’ Taken aback, M stared at him, suddenly at a loss for words.
Dax said, ‘He’s just great, really special.’
‘Oh, I see,’ M muttered, and put down the mug of tea.
‘Don’t look so startled, so upset.’ Dax drew closer once more as he added, ‘I’m a member of both churches, if you know what I mean. And I’m quite happy in her church. And also in his.’ He smiled suddenly, his face lighting up. ‘But I don’t want to get too deeply involved with him, and so I think I should go to LA. Follow my life-long dream, so to speak, try and make it as an actor, and put my love life/sex life on hold, if you get my drift.’
‘Yes, I do, and I’ll say it again. You will still take your problems with you wherever you go to live.’
‘No, I won’t. I’ll be leaving Geo and Jason behind. Two problems dealt with! I’ll only have my career to worry about.’ He suddenly started to cough, jumped up, excused himself and hurried out of the kitchen.
M stared after him, frowning. Although she had been surprised when he had confided he was bisexual, she was neither troubled by it nor judgemental. But she was worried about his health. He looked genuinely ill to her. A moment later he was back, blowing his nose on a tissue.
‘Sorry about that,’ he said, sitting down at the table.
‘You’ve got a really nasty cold, you know.’ She stood up, went to one of the cabinets, took out a bottle of Tylenol, gave it to him. ‘Take some of these, and drink your tea.’
‘Yes, Mom,’ he said, grinning at her, and took three of the pills. ‘Well, thank God it’s stopped raining at last,’ he murmured, staring out of the window. ‘So, tell me, M, should I go to LA or not?’
‘I don’t know how to answer that, not really,’ M responded quietly. ‘I suppose it might be easier out there – to get an acting job, I mean. On the other hand, I keep hearing that actors are two a penny in Hollywood, and that all of them are gorgeous and talented, male and female alike.’ She gave him a probing stare and finished, ‘Maybe you’re just running away from Geo and Jason? Do you think that might be it?’
‘Not at all. I’m only thinking about my future … in films. And you know I’ve been to so many auditions, looking for parts, trying to get an acting job. I’ve been doing that since long before we first met.’
‘Then think about this move just a little longer. Don’t do anything hasty, or rash. Give it a few weeks, try to find something here in New York, an acting job in television or maybe in the theatre. And as for Geo, tell her it’s over, if it really is. She’s a big girl, she’ll understand; and, anyway, you said she’d sort of lost interest in you. As for Jason, you have only two choices. You can stay with him. Or tell him goodbye as well. So that you can concentrate on your career.’
Dax gaped at her for a long moment, and then began to laugh hilariously, ending up coughing into his tissue. When he had settled down, he said, with a knowing grin, ‘If nothing else, you’re certainly outspoken, tell a guy what you really think.’
‘Do I? And what do I think?’
‘That I’m full of b.s.’
‘No,
