both playful fear and extreme arousal in Alex (her body has always proved a more accurate radar for reflecting her true disposition), which she admitted afterwards she found truly fascinating. Leo asked if he could have a copy of her thesis and Alex generously sent a copy through for me to forward on to him. I was only ever allowed to read her original hard copy all those years ago but thankfully I have a great memory. No doubt it would have been intriguing for her to read it again after our experience together — or rewrite it perhaps …
Anyway, Leo’s funds have enabled him to acquire properties around the world that he believes hold either mystical or spiritual significance to cultures past and present — they are known as Avalon. It’s his concept, his baby if you like, and he offered me his executive treehouse on Lord Howe Island to ensure Alexa’s safety and wellbeing after our weekend together. His only condition was that she was not to know its location. I remember wanting to ask him why, but the look on his face stopped me, even though his demeanour remained calm and placid. I’ve learnt over the years when to question and debate with Leo, which most of the time he embraces with gusto, but this was not one of those occasions, so I maintained my silence and kept my promise. He doesn’t ask too much from me and he has done so much for me, it’s the least I could do. Thinking about it, in hindsight I wonder if he had a sense that she was at greater risk than we originally thought, or whether he felt there was something unique about Alexa, even before we further tested our hypotheses, given his direct involvement and his insistence that I take her to Avalon. I sigh as these thoughts and memories flood my mind while our car smoothly drives past Buckingham Palace and on to Pall Mall. So much for her safety now …
* * *
Sam and I check in at One Aldwych. I stare aimlessly around the suite in which I had invested such high hopes and expectations. I can’t deny the emptiness I’m feeling without Alexa here by my side, or the rising turmoil in my gut as to where she could be. I stare blankly at my laptop as if her whereabouts is going to miraculously appear before my eyes. I haven’t heard back from Moira yet, which is driving me mad, but I know she’s efficient and does her job like no other. I don’t want to bother her unnecessarily, but every second counts and I feel like I’m in Alexa limbo. I’m half tempted to call Scotland Yard myself to sort this hideous mess out. I can’t get my mind off the letter I had received during our weekend away that indirectly threatened the safety of Alex’s children if I didn’t go ahead with the experiment. It must be the same people. Shit. If only I could turn back time we would not be in this mess. I should have organised for the whole family to be with me in the safety of Avalon until all this crap passed over and we figured out who was behind it but as we didn’t receive anything else, we instead just increased security and surveillance at Alexa and Robert’s house as a precautionary measure. Now this, they’ve abducted her — if they’re willing to go to these extremes, will it ever be over? I slam the laptop closed in frustration — it’s not as if it’s giving me any of the answers I so urgently need. What I need is a strong drink. I’m driving myself crazy. I pass by Sam’s room and tap on the door before opening it. He’s absorbed in his laptop, maybe hoping for answers just as futilely as I was.
‘I’m heading to the bar, can I get you anything?’
‘I’ll join you in half an hour or so. I want to reorganise the priorities for my team in Sydney so they are on standby to research the information Moira will be sending through and I’ll offer any assistance to Martin in setting up a more sophisticated tracker on Alexandra’s bracelet. You never know, they might find something. I know it’s a long shot but …’ He sounds despondent as he looks up from his work and his eyes register both our misery.
‘Thanks Sam, it will all help and they’re a bright bunch by the sounds of it. I’ll let McKinnon know we’ll need to defer the forum indefinitely and he can inform the other members.’
‘Of course, I should have thought of that, he is the Chair, after all. I’ll see you downstairs. I suppose there’s not too much else we can do until we hear back from Moira.’
I close his door and trudge towards the lift. I’m not used to being this useless. I need action, to hunt down her abductors, not just make phone calls, damn it. Being forced to wait is killing me.
In the lobby bar I stare aimlessly into the flames of the candelabra, jiggling the ice around in my double shot of Glenmorangie. Some slick chick asks me if I want company tonight and I motion her away with a wave of my hand. As if I could think of anyone but Alex at the moment, as if I ever will again — even my dick concurs. My mind flits back through the many times we have played together. She never disappointed me, has always been willing to try anything with me, explore and push the boundaries. Of all the women I have been with, and there have been many over the years, she is the one I keep coming back to. The one I couldn’t get out of my head even when I was being pleasured by two buxom blondes in California, or getting a blow job from a lusty redhead with a mouth to die for. It was Alex — her body, her mind, her heart — that kept floating erratically through my mind during those moments of random pleasure, preventing me from committing further to any other woman in my life. I never spoke about her of course, they didn’t need to know.
Marie was close and wanted our relationship to go further, but I couldn’t bring myself to commit, not when I knew Alex was still out there, even if she was unavailable and on the other side of the world. We are still friends but she’s as wrapped up in her career as I am in mine and marrying Marie would have been like a business deal, Kardashian-style, all for show but without any grounded substance. Marriage should mean more than that.
Besides, I needed to know once and for all, where I stood with AB. I knew she was married with kids; I’m Jordan’s godfather after all, even if I haven’t exactly been a major presence in his life. The weekend away I organised with her meant everything to me. I knew from the second she agreed to stay that, finally, this was our time, our destiny and that my philandering ways were over. This was the real deal. There was no way I was ever going to let her go again. And it couldn’t have worked more perfectly. My meticulous planning paid off in every way possible. I had to ensure our lives would be entangled together somehow from that point forward — whether it was professionally, sexually or psychologically. I didn’t mind which one, actually, if I’m perfectly honest I was obviously hoping to achieve all three and hit the jackpot. Breaking through her boundaries, removing all the layers of defensive constructs she’d built up over the years and finally witnessing her willingness to experiment made me fall even more in love with her all over again. Not to mention her effect on my research. The results are absolutely extraordinary but shit, at what cost? What would have happened if she hadn’t agreed to be involved? I would never have forced her into anything she wasn’t willing to do herself and ultimately she did it willingly, but with the blackmail letter I received on the Friday night of our weekend hanging over my head, threatening the safety of her children … I just couldn’t risk it. Anything could seem like an accident when they were travelling in the wilderness of Tasmania. I certainly didn’t want to scare her or put her children in any danger, all because of my work. They mean the world to her; they are her world. In the end, I was pleased that I hadn’t caused her any worry by mentioning it to her and I thought it had all worked out, but now the letter, then the computer hacking, and finally the abduction, all tumbles into one sordid picture — but who is behind it? Who would stoop so low? Who would take that risk to put her in so much personal danger? They must have a lot at stake or maybe I have more enemies than I realised … My head literally aches as my brain runs through numerous scenarios.
I remind myself that Alexa is strong, has always been strong and oftentimes is stronger than she realises. Christ, look what she did for me! At least I know they won’t want her dead. She is no use to them dead; these results require that she is very much alive. Thank god! But I also know it is highly unlikely they will achieve the results we did. My stomach churns at the thought of what they may put her through, how they might want to touch her. It sickens me to the core. The only way I want my Alexa to receive pleasure is under my instruction. No one knows her body the way I do, and
