A Tragic Kind of Wonderful. Eric Lindstrom

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Zumi smiles. “I was born a couple miles from here. On the kitchen table, supposedly. I’m still not sure if it’s a true story or just something my brother wants me to believe and my parents keep playing along.”

       I laugh. I think if Annie were here, she’d have said, “Zumi, gross!” with a look of genuine disgust. She wouldn’t have laughed. But then again, if Annie were here, Zumi wouldn’t have said it.

       “Zumi,” I say. “This is my aunt Joan.”

       “Call me HJ.” She walks back to the kitchen.

       “I like her,” Zumi says, not whispering. “Where can I get one?”

       “Be careful what you wish for.”

       We spend the next couple hours sitting in my room, talking and laughing. I keep expecting her to stand up and say it’s time to go, or call Connor, but she doesn’t. She stays for lunch—Frankenstein sandwiches we make from random stuff in the fridge—and then we’re back in my bedroom.

       “Hey,” Zumi says. “Is that what I think it is?”

       My closet door is ajar and she pulls it all the way open. She grabs a box. Oh no …

       “Why do you have a karaoke machine in here?”

       “Because … my aunt was a very different kind of teenager? And she can’t understand that? And she keeps trying to fix me?”

       “It’s never been opened.”

       “I keep meaning to return it. I guess it’s too late, now. You can have it if you want.”

       “Already got one. Let’s go!” She’s out the door.

       I find Zumi in the living room behind the TV. The karaoke box is torn open on the floor.

       “What are you doing?”

       “Looking for pirate treasure. Oh wait, I already found some. I just need to plug it in …”

       Against my silent hope, Zumi gets it working in less than two minutes. She thumbs through the screen menu with the remote. “No songs from this century? So much Madonna, my mom would love it, but God, if I hear ‘Borderline’ one more time … See anything you want to sing?”

       I don’t answer.

       “Here’s some less ancient stuff … not bad … something for everyone. What’s first?”

       “You,” I say. “You first.”

       “Okay,” Zumi says.

       I regret my word choice. The clear implication is that I’ll go second.

      The screen scrolls to LADY GAGA and stops on “Bad Romance.”

       It starts, blaring at high volume, but Zumi doesn’t soften it. The first lyrics on the screen aren’t words, just chanting, and she dives right in. She’s done this before. Not just karaoke; this exact song.

       I glance out through the dining room and see Mom and HJ standing outside the glass door, staring in, drawn by the commotion. It looks like they were eating lunch at the backyard picnic table.

       Zumi belts out the song like her life depends on it, rocking left and right. She even stretches her arm out to point at the imaginary audience behind the TV.

       It’s loud and shocking, and she sings so fluidly without stumbling, it takes a moment to register that her voice is … off. I don’t know anything about singing, but I understand it requires skill beyond saying the right words at the right times. Zumi lacks this skill.

       She spins around and points at me, singing without needing to watch the screen. I see it on her face, behind the grin she’s fighting to suppress. She knows she’s a lousy singer.

       I cover my face—I can’t let her see what I’m thinking. She laughs and spins around again, singing louder now.

       It’s glorious.

       The sliding glass door to the backyard opens. HJ walks in and Mom slowly slides the door closed again, watching from outside where it’s safe.

       Zumi sees HJ bobbing to the music and waves her in. HJ doesn’t pretend to be reluctant. I’ve heard her sing lots of times—in the shower, the car, or randomly when she’s flying high—and I know they’re well matched in their lack of talent. Like me, if I had the guts to stand up and open my mouth.

       By the time the song ends, I’m laughing at the both of them. They shake hands, exaggerating like their arms are wet noodles.

       “It’s a pleasure to sing with someone as bad as me,” HJ says. “Thank you very much!”

       Zumi laughs. “No one ever thanks me for singing!”

       I grin. Then I stop. HJ’s holding out the microphone to me.

       They both laugh as if something on my face is suddenly hilarious.

       Zumi takes pity and says they’ll be my training wheels. They prop me up between them and we sing the next song on the list, “Poker Face,” without either of them calling me out on how I’m silently lip-synching.

       “Gimme!” HJ grabs the remote. She scrolls up the list. “Aha! I had lots of machines to choose from, but only one at the store had this …”

      She stops scrolling at ABBA: “Take a Chance on Me.”

       “Okay,” HJ says. “This time with feeling.”

       “And volume,” Zumi whispers in my ear.

       Mom steps up. I didn’t hear her come inside. She smiles. “Ready?”

       I’m not, but by late afternoon, I’m singing audibly, then loudly, even dancing some. I prove to others what I already knew, that in addition to being a bad singer, I’m also a terrible dancer.

       Zumi texts Connor to come over. He does, but he just watches and won’t leave the sofa. Whenever we try to drag him up, he closes his eyes and goes limp till we give up. An hour later, all our phones buzz at the same time. It’s a group text from Annie:

       Home. Come over.

       “Let’s go!” Zumi runs to retrieve her hoodie from where she’d flung it behind the sofa.

      

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