said quickly, a hand on Mattie’s back to push her along. ‘Absolutely nothing.’
‘I really don’t want to be the one to say this, but didn’t that used to be Sam’s room?’ Tom queried in a long-suffering voice.
‘Room! Hardly a room,’ Posy said, wriggling past Mattie so she could form a human, pregnant shield in front of the door. ‘Anyway, there’s stuff in there. So much stuff.’
‘Again, I really don’t want to say this either, but when you say “stuff”, do you actually mean a copious amount of books that you (a) haven’t got round to moving to your gigantic house in Bloomsbury, or (b) can’t move because you told Sebastian quite categorically that was the very last of your books when you managed to fill two van-loads? Or is it (c) you actually killed Nina some months ago and that’s where her decomposing body is wrapped in bin bags? I thought I could smell something funny.’
Posy gave Tom a feeble slap on the arm. ‘Of course I haven’t killed Nina. I think the smell is just Verity’s newest meditation candle.’
‘Which just leaves (a) and (b),’ Mattie said, folding her arms and planting herself squarely so that Posy was hemmed in. ‘Which is it?’
‘OK, it’s (a),’ Posy admitted. ‘Also, (b). It used to be Sam’s room and now it’s my overspill books room.’ She pouted winsomely in a way that would have had Sebastian Thorndyke agreeing to build an extension to their already very big house just so that Posy could have more books. ‘I’ve filled every last shelf and bookcase that we own and Sebastian made me promise on my first edition of I Capture the Castle that for every new book I brought into the house, a book had to leave. It was very unreasonable of him.’
Mattie would never understand what the deal was with the Happy Ever After staff and all their many, many, many books. ‘Really, Posy, couldn’t you just go digital? Have you any idea how many books you could put on an e-reader?’
Posy made a furious huffing noise.
‘Best not to go there,’ Tom advised as he reached over his huffing boss to open the door to her unofficial library. ‘Anyway, look, there’s no room to swing a cat. Not even a very small cat.’
Mattie peered around the door and for one moment she thought that, annoyingly, Tom was right. There were piles of books, books and yet more books, and it was a wonder that the floor joists hadn’t given way. But when she tried to visualise the room without any books, it was … not spacious, but definitely bigger than a broom cupboard.
‘You could get a single bed in there,’ she decided, which was fortunate because she hadn’t shared a bed with anyone since … Anyway, she had no plans to share her bed with anyone. Ever. ‘And a clothes rail. Maybe even a shelf on the wall.’
‘I suppose … I could mention to Sebastian that I’d overlooked some books?’ Posy said, rubbing her bump. ‘And I am carrying his child, which is a very useful thing to bring up when I want to win an argument. Besides, Sam managed perfectly well in this room for years.’
Mattie smiled aggressively at Tom, who looked quite taken aback and blinked uncertainly. ‘Well, I guess we’re both moving in, then.’
‘I guess we are,’ Tom said.
Mattie gestured at the room. ‘And I’m sure you’ll be comfortable in here. If it was good enough for Sam, then I’m sure it will be fine for you.’
‘Why should I get stuck with this glorified cupboard?’ Tom asked incredulously.
‘Because you’re a man,’ Mattie said with a dismissive wave of her hand, as if Tom’s so-called manliness was in question.
‘That’s reverse sexism,’ Tom said.
‘It’s not. It means that I’m a woman, so obviously I have more things than you,’ Mattie pointed out with a slight gritting of her teeth. ‘Clothes and things.’
Tom swept his eyes over Mattie, then it was his turn to employ a dismissive wave of his hand. ‘You can’t have that many clothes. You wear the same thing every single day.’
‘Not the exact same thing! I have multiple pieces. I’m not some dirty Gertie with poor personal hygiene.’ Mattie had rarely been so offended, and also so paranoid that she wished she could give each of her armpits a surreptitious sniff.
‘Still, I already won the coin toss for Very’s old room so you’ll have to make do with this one.’ Tom was now smiling as if his superior intellectual prowess had once again triumphed.
‘Not fair. We’ll toss again,’ Mattie demanded and she wanted to stamp her foot so much that her toes curled up in her Converse.
But in the end she lost the toss – though she wouldn’t have put it past Tom to have a special double-tails pound coin solely so he could win coin tosses – and had no option but to smile thinly and say, ‘Fine, I hope you’ll be happy in your needlessly large room.’
‘Thanks, I’m sure I will,’ Tom said with another mocking smile, and it wasn’t until she was finally back on her home turf that Mattie could give way to her true feelings.
‘I hate him!’ she exclaimed, to the surprise of Cuthbert and several customers.
‘“Hate” is a very strong word,’ Cuthbert admonished, putting his hands over a couple of Jezebel’s levers as if he didn’t want the coffee machine to hear any harsh words.
‘It’s not strong enough,’ Mattie said as she stomped into the kitchen, which sadly had no door that she could slam.
The very next evening, the last they all had free until after Christmas, Verity moved out, Posy moved her books out and Tom and Mattie moved in.
The logistics were not ideal. In fact, the logistics were a nightmare. Mattie had come home from work yesterday and worked long into the night packing up all her worldly possessions while mainlining black coffee.
Then she’d squeezed a day’s baking into a morning so that after the lunchtime rush, she could hightail it back to Hackney to finish her packing.
Meanwhile, to mark the auspicious occasion, Happy Ever After and the tearooms closed their doors at 3 p.m. so that the Afternoon of Moving Many Things could get underway. ‘It won’t take long to shift a few boxes of books,’ Posy had said blithely but Posy had lied.
Despite quite a few fraught text messages about timings, when Mattie turned up at four in her mother’s car, Posy’s books were still being carried out at the same time that Verity and Johnny were trying to get her blue velvet armchair down the narrow stairs without breaking it.
There wasn’t much room to park in the mews, what with two vans being there already. Mattie was just about to reverse out when there was a furious hooting behind her and she was hemmed in by yet another van. She could just make out Tom’s face in her rear-view mirror as he gestured frantically at her.
She was tempted to gesture back with her middle finger. ‘Ugh, he has zero chill.’
