him to take me in his arms and ravish me right there in the school driveway? I didn’t know. I just knew I needed something from him. Something more.
‘What are you getting for Christmas then?’ I asked, hopelessly. Desperately.
He laughed. ‘Probably some Boxing Day overtime and a thick ear.’ He smiled, wringing his hands like they were cold. I did the same, mirroring his movements.
‘Are yours freezing too?’ he asked, reaching for them and taking them in his. They were warmer than mine, but at that moment I didn’t care if he’d been lying about having cold hands just so he could hold mine. I didn’t want him to let go. ‘Yeah, they are.’ That tiny moment, with him holding my hands in his, made the day seem finally worth getting up for.
‘I’m all right now,’ I said, regrettably pulling them away and looking down to hide the flames in my cheeks.
‘Listen, you better get in and warm up before they fall off. I’ve got another twelve of these to deliver before the end of the day. Have a great Christmas, all right? And I’ll see you next term.’
‘Yeah,’ I said, as I watched him make his way back to the van. ‘Charlie?’ I called, when he was almost in.
‘Yeah?’ He looked back.
‘You have a great Christmas too.’ And we both smiled at each other. For now, that would have to be enough.
Monday night after Prep and monitoring the Pups’ bedtime, I bathed and wrapped myself in my school-approved navy dressing gown and raspberry slippers with the school crest on and went down to Mrs Saul-Hudson’s office for our usual routine of cocoa and diary. She was sitting at her desk when I knocked and went in, closing the door behind me.
‘Oh, Natasha, is it that time already?’ she said, already in her pyjamas and dressing gown herself and looking more flustered than normal. ‘Sorry, I’ve got such a lot to do before tomorrow.’
‘Good evening, ma’am.’ I placed her cocoa mug down in front of her, my tap water down in front of me, and opened the diary to tomorrow’s page so she could see it. ‘It’s all done for you to check.’
‘Wonderful. Before we go through tomorrow’s notes, have a seat. I wanted to talk to you about something.’
‘Yes, ma’am?’
She took a sip of her cocoa and I took a sip of my water. Then she settled down the mug. ‘Lovely. Just right as usual. Right, last day of term tomorrow, we’ve got lots of visitors coming. Who is supervising Pups all day?’
I opened my notebook and clicked on my pen. ‘The usual staff, ma’am, plus I’ve allocated three prefects from Tudor, Hanover and Windsor House to the three groups as well. No lessons means lots of extra hands on deck, which is great.’
‘Excellent. And how about the Tenderfoots?’
I checked my notes. ‘Two prefects, three members of staff and two TAs. That should be quite enough, ma’am. A lot of the Tenderfoots have gone home early.’
‘Good, and the Christmas Fayre?’
‘Stallholders will be arriving from ten a.m. and the Years Nine and Ten have been briefed by their form tutors about helping set up stalls and—’
‘What about the play?’
‘Years Nine and Ten will be setting out the chairs once they’ve helped with the stalls.’
Mrs Saul-Hudson smiled and sat back in her large leather chair, like a queen testing out a new throne. ‘Where would I be without you, Natasha?’
I smiled and blushed at the same time, taking a large sip of my water.
‘So how are you bearing up? It must be very hard on you and your parents with Sebastian still not found.’
She’d sucker-punched me, bringing Seb into the conversation so quickly, but in a way I was glad she’d found time to care.
‘I’m trying not to think about it really, ma’am,’ I said. ‘Not much I can do by worrying.’
‘That’s the stuff,’ she said proudly. ‘Keep busy, that’s always the best way. No sense in worrying. Worrying, I always say, does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, just empties today of its strength. You bear that in mind, won’t you?’
‘I will, ma’am,’ I said, once I’d figured it out.
‘And you’re doing a marvellous job here so it would be a shame if … well, if things started to slip.’
I didn’t know what she meant by that at that exact moment, but I didn’t have time to figure it out because the next demand came swiftly round the next corner.
‘Oh, and in the morning I want you to arrange some signage to go up once the choral procession through the woods is over. I’ve asked Mr Munday to … well, we’ve taken steps anyway, just in case anything grisly is about. I’m sure there isn’t but, well, best to be safe.’
‘Yes, ma’am. Just regulation “Keep Out” signs, was it?’
‘Yes. Nobody will be going up there over Christmas anyway, but we need signs keeping anyone out of the woods and away from the ponds in case they freeze over.’
I made a note in my book. ‘Yes, ma’am. Is this what the police suggested we do?’
‘Hmm?’ she said, looking up from her papers in alarm as if I’d just asked her what method she suggested I hang myself with.
‘Your meeting with the police this afternoon? They were here to talk about the man in the village and the … beast?’
‘Oh that!’ she said, almost shrieking with laughter. ‘Oh that, yes. Yes, the police did say we needed to take extra precautions.’
‘And … Dianna was a good help with the police?’
‘Yes, wonderful. Actually, you really have both been a constant support this year. And without any detriment to your grades. I don’t know how you and Dianna do it, I really don’t.’
I poured a mental pail of cold water over the flames that had just ignited in my mind. Dianna? A constant support? A constant thorn in my side, rather. A constant interloper on my duties, definitely. ‘Well, I can’t speak for Dianna but I enjoy it, ma’am. I like helping out.’
‘Well, you’ve both been a marvel. How is the play coming along?’
‘Oh we’re almost there, ma’am. If you’d like to come and watch the dress rehearsal, we’ll be starting just after Prayers tomorrow morning.’
‘Lovely, yes, I might do that. And talking of Prayers …’
Here it comes, I thought. This is it. This was the moment I’ve been waiting for. My heart began to pump like a clubhouse classic.
‘Would you be an absolute dear and set out the hymn books first thing tomorrow, please? I meant to ask Clarice Hoon but I never got round to it. Oh and breakfast tomorrow—’
