‘Yeah. Didn’t you get that? All that breathy, “He’s dead, isn’t he?” stuff. And almost wanting a body to be found. Bit odd, I thought.’
‘Well, you’d be odd if you’d been through what she’s going through.’
‘No, I don’t think I would. I think most people would be anxious as hell, but trying to keep hopeful.’ She glances at me. ‘Like you are. He’s a grown man, after all. He’s not exactly vulnerable.’
‘But it doesn’t make sense. Why would she want that? She’s his mother.’
‘Who the frick knows? All I know is, something was off.’
I think back over our strange encounter again, but all I can see is a woman deranged by some pre-existing problem that I can’t identify, coupled with massive stress, sleeplessness and grief. But I’ve never been any good at reading between the lines, or spotting subtle things. I tend to believe whatever I’m presented with. Maybe I’m naïve. Maybe I’m stupid. Turns out I was stupid to marry Adam, that’s for sure. Probably. Maybe I need to start questioning my reality a bit more. Maybe if I’d done that a year ago, I wouldn’t be here now.
‘Oh, and one more thing,’ Ginger says now, turning all the way round in her seat to face me. ‘This grieving, desperate mother, this woman who you want to believe is going mad with determination to cling to the idea that her son is still alive, still loves her, and will come home again one day.’
‘Yes?’
‘Well, why the hell would a woman like that refer to her son the whole time in the past tense?’
SIX
I have no answer for that. Initially, I was convinced that Ginger had got it wrong, but remembering my conversation with Julia just now, I realise that she’s right. There’s no sound in the car for a few minutes while I think about it and Ginger nods off.
‘So what does that mean?’ I ask eventually. ‘Do you think Julia knows something we don’t?’
Ginger jerks awake at the sound of my voice and looks around blearily. ‘Whassay?’
‘I said, your theory about Julia talking about Adam in the past tense. Do you think she knows something?’ I remember her addition of the word ‘yet’ after I reminded her that no body has been found, and instantly my flesh contracts and covers itself with goosebumps. Again.
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