know, I’m sorry,’ said Kezzie. ‘Things all felt a bit mad here, and then my Aunt Jo offered me a place to stay in the country, and it seemed like the right thing to do.’
‘You’re living in the country?’ Flick roared with laughter. ‘What a hoot. Did you hear that, Gav?’
‘I think most of London heard it,’ said Gavin, who was also known as Space Cadet on account of him being not very with it a lot of the time. He was sitting at their rackety kitchen table, rolling a joint. ‘Hey, Kez, great to see you. There’s a whole crowd of us going out tonight. Should be a blast.’
And it was. After a bite to eat, the three of them strolled down the road to the local pub, the Three Compasses, where Kezzie had spent many a happy evening. She soon slipped back into things. Flick and Gavin had gathered a crowd together, some of whom she knew, Tom who’d come on lots of night-time expeditions with them, and Karen and Dan who lived down the road, as well as several she didn’t. It was fun, and Kezzie was enjoying herself so much by the time they got to the gig, she allowed herself to be persuaded to have a puff of Gavin’s spliff.
‘I shouldn’t really,’ she said. ‘I decided to give it up.’
‘Oh, come on, don’t be a party pooper,’ said Flick, who was well away by now, ‘what harm can one little puff do?’
‘A lot,’ said Kezzie, with feeling.
‘What do you mean?’ asked Flick. Overwhelmed suddenly at being with people she loved, who loved her, and who knew Richard, Kezzie couldn’t contain herself any longer. She’d spent so long hugging her secret to herself, the words came spilling out of her.
‘The thing is, oh God, Flick, I’ve been such an idiot,’ she said. ‘I knew Rich hated me smoking dope. One of the few things we used to argue about was that he thought I could be feckless sometimes, incapable of taking responsibility. I wanted to prove him wrong, but instead I stuffed up big time.’
‘Woah,’ said Flick, raising her hand. ‘Slow down. What on earth did you do?’
Kezzie put her head in her hands, and then sat up and looked straight ahead.
‘You know we were going to move in together?’ she said.
‘Yes, so?’ said Flick.
‘Well, I offered to have Emily at my place for the afternoon, when Richard was going to be late at work. I knew he was worried about how we got on and that Emily was a bit wary of me, and I thought we could get to know each other a bit better. Stupidly, I thought we might bond a bit better away from Richard’s flat.’
‘And?’
‘It was a disaster,’ said Kezzie. ‘Emily was bitchy to me from the minute she arrived. I tried to engage her in polite conversation, I tried to find out what she was interested in, and she was so bloody rude. In the end, I just left her watching TV and went into my room to work on some designs I was doing for one of Richard’s clients, and we ignored each other till Richard came home. Which was when all hell broke loose.’
‘Why?’
‘He found Emily lying on the floor giggling hysterically, drunk and high as a kite, and blamed me for plying her with dope. I tried to tell him I hadn’t – I didn’t even have any dope in the house but he was so angry he wouldn’t listen and the little cow told him I had given her some of my magic muffins.’
‘Oh my God – were those the ones we made together?’ Flick suddenly twigged what had happened.
‘The very same. I’d planned to share them with you and Gav next time we were out gardening. Emily must have helped herself. Plus, she’d found some of my vodka and drunk that. I told Richard I hadn’t given it to her but he wouldn’t believe me. We had a row, and that was it, he wouldn’t see me again.’
‘Oh, Kez,’ said Flick, giving her friend a hug. ‘The silly sod. He must have known you’d never do a thing like that.’
‘I don’t think he’s that rational as far as Emily’s concerned,’ said Kezzie. ‘Emily told her mum, who blamed Richard, and stopped Emily seeing him for a bit, which made things worse for me and him of course. I accused Emily of doing it on purpose to split us up, and that was it. Richard stopped taking my calls, and refused to have anything to do with me. And it’s my own stupid fault. I should never have had those muffins in the house where a teenager could get their hands on them. And it proved to Richard once and for all how irresponsible I was.’
‘And do you think he’s right?’ said Flick with sympathy.
‘Yes. No. I don’t know,’ said Kezzie. ‘It’s all been so muddled up in my head. I think the main thing is we both realized how different we are, how different our lifestyles are. I don’t think we can be together any more.’
‘Well, then,’ said Flick. ‘If that’s the case, one spliff can’t hurt can it?’
‘I’m not sure,’ said Kezzie, but she was weakening.
‘After all, you don’t have to please Richard any more,’ continued Flick.
‘Oh, go on, then,’ said Kezzie.
Hours later, after a really brilliant evening, where she’d danced wildly, sung herself hoarse, and drunk far too much, Kezzie found herself rollickingly staggering back down the road with Flick and Gavin, and ordering a curry.
‘I do love you two guys, you know,’ she said. ‘I’ve missed you.’
‘I’ve missed you, too,’ said Flick. ‘Don’t go away. Stay here.’
‘Got to,’ said Kezzie. ‘Got a commission to restore a garden.’
‘Sounds good,’ said Flick.
‘It is.’ Kezzie told them all about Edward Handford and Lovelace Cottage, and she realized that it was good, and she was beginning to really like it in Heartsease. ‘You could come and help me. We’re trying to restore a community garden, too, do you remember that project we worked on over in Hackney? Only a bit posher.’
‘You’re on,’ said Flick. ‘Tell us where and when. Oh, and if you’re not coming back, take something from Spike home with you to keep you cheerful over the winter.’
Spike was the name Flick had given to the original cannabis plant she’d grown. Over the years Spike had produced much fruit as it were, and Kezzie grinned as she accepted the small plastic bag Flick offered her.
‘Thanks guys,’ she said. ‘You’re the best,’ and sat back in her chair and relaxed. With the winter coming on she’d been feeling very lost and lonely, despite her burgeoning friendship with Lauren. Coming back to see her friends had reminded her of who and what she was. Suddenly she didn’t feel quite so lonely any more.
Chapter Twelve
‘Girls, do you remember who I said was visiting today?’ Lauren sat down with Izzie and Immie over breakfast. She’d told Troy that he could come around and meet them, but she still wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing. She looked from one to the other, so alike, and yet so different as they sat munching their toast in the homely kitchen. She’d worked so hard to make their
