hide their smiles. ‘Anyway, what gives you the impression I want to be Number One?’
‘Why do you play if you don’t want to be the best?’
‘I’m young, I happen to be good at tennis – which is lucky because I love playing. I get to travel the world – which I also love. I have great friends on the circuit. So life’s good, much better than I ever expected. Until playing against Ivan I suppose I’ve never really believed I could make it into the top ten and now that might occur.’ He shook his head in disbelief and looked directly into her eyes. ‘Why, do you think I should take it more seriously?’
‘It sounds as if you haven’t really had to work too hard to get to this position.’
‘Don’t get me wrong, I love winning and I work hard when I need to but I suppose I haven’t had the desire to take it too seriously. There is a lot of losing involved in tennis you know!’
‘I just can’t imagine not wanting to be the top of your field.’
‘Well, maybe you are the motivation I’ve been lacking until now, Miss Lawrance.’
‘And maybe you are what I need to relax and enjoy life a little more, not take things so seriously …’ she reflected.
‘See, we could be a match made in heaven if only you would give us a chance.’ He laughed before he tenderly tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear. ‘So are you going to tell me how you feel or are you avoiding the topic?’
‘Even if I did, what good would it do? It wouldn’t change anything …’ She sighed, disheartened by this turn of events. Her heart and body were yearning for his touch but her mind was resolute.
She tried to sit up but he held on tight to her hand, ensuring she stayed lying next to him on the bed.
‘Let me ask a different way, then. If you didn’t have this “complication”, would you want to be with me?’
Eloise looked away. She honestly didn’t know what to say. Of course she wanted to be with him, she was attracted to him in every way. It felt like forever since she’d been with a man. And now, before her very eyes, within her grasp but beyond her reach, was the unimaginable oasis of Noah. He was like milk chocolate and sunshine morphed into one delectable package – and the most fun-loving, easygoing, playful, warm-hearted guy she had ever met. His body was as sculpted and toned as that of any male ballet dancer, and she couldn’t deny that the thought of being intimate with him was exciting beyond her wildest dreams. He was everything she’d ever hoped for and more. She yearned to say yes, but Caesar’s rules were abundantly clear, and what if he found out? She’d be left with no contract and no ballet. She couldn’t decide whether to answer with her head or her heart, and was ultimately afraid of being betrayed by both. Telling him the truth just wasn’t an option and the last thing she wanted to do was to hurt Noah.
‘Elle?’
She stroked his cheek with her hand, letting her fingertips rest on his delectable lips, which proved frustrating for both of them that she couldn’t take things further. ‘Believe me, I would love to be with you, Noah, but only when the time was right.’ Heart then head felt like the right answer.
‘And that would be when?’ He pushed for an answer while holding her fingers and kissing them gently.
‘Just not now, Noah. I can’t … I’m so sorry I wish it could be different.’ Tears began to well in her eyes such was her disappointment in having to say no to this precious man.
‘OK, OK. You just don’t know how hard it’s been for me to keep my hands off you since the moment we first met in the pub.’
‘So far you haven’t!’ She lifted her hand, still being squeezed by his, to prove her point and lighten the mood.
‘Well, other parts of you.’ He chuckled in an attempt to cover his own disappointment.
‘I would love for us to be more than friends, Noah, I’ve never felt like this before either. It’s just that for the next eighteen months … well, the commitment I’ve made needs to take precedence …’
‘But I shouldn’t give up, I should just wait a while?’
‘Quite a while, but yes, I’d be devastated if you gave up on me.’
‘Then I won’t – ever!’ He rolled her over and playfully slapped her butt. ‘Let’s go for a run.’
‘I hear you.’
With sexual tension still oozing but knowing the air was clear between them, Eloise was more than happy to join him for a jog and release some of the pent-up frustration between her legs.
Chaste
There was only one bed on the narrow boat, and each night they shared it, but only for sleeping. Most evenings they talked way into the night, eventually falling asleep holding hands, their bodies barely touching – thwarted but still preferring to be close. Eloise was continually torn between admiring Noah’s chivalry and heroic restraint at her insistence on not taking their relationship further, and desperately wishing he’d have his wild way with her – were it not for Caesar. Her feelings could fluctuate between the two in any given moment, but in the end she was grateful that he respected her wishes with fortitude, even though they were both denying themselves the sexual release they fervently desired.
Lying on the bed in her summer pyjamas – a singlet and boxer shorts – Eloise would enjoy watching Noah as he stripped off his shirt before settling in next to her. She still got a thrill from having him so near her each night, and took every opportunity to gaze at his sculpted torso, knowing anything more than that was strictly forbidden. Though she’d had sex a few times before, this small degree of intimacy she shared with Noah felt so much more meaningful – albeit physically infuriating.
‘Your eyes are glazing over, Elle, you look a million miles away,’ he said to her one night.
‘I was distracted by you,’ she replied as he jumped in beside her.
‘I’m more than happy to distract you a bit more; just say when.’ His hand slid over to her knee.
‘Noah, you know how hard this is for me already!’ She grudgingly removed his hand and instead gently touched the tattoo on his shoulder, a four-sided shape that looked a bit like a knot. ‘Have you had that for long?’ she asked.
‘About five years, I suppose. I got it when I was nineteen.’
‘I like its symmetry. Does it have any specific meaning?’
‘It’s called Mpatapo, a West African symbol of peacemaking and reconciliation.’ He grinned at her curious eyes as she lightly touched it once more. ‘I had it done after my parents got over themselves and became friends again. I’d always wanted a tattoo and it’s a useful reminder to them whenever they start squabbling like kids; all I do is flash my shoulder and they stop. Having them both on the same side has had a huge impact on my tennis, so now they behave – for the greater good.’
‘It’s weird, I’ve never had parents but I always imagined the fairytale kind. You know – a mother and
