her. It’s subtle, and it’s jolly in tone, but the undertones are threatening.
“Well, I dig a hole, put a sheet on the base. Cover it with logs. Light them. Then when it’s smouldering, I add the food and cover it with soil. Twenty-four hours later the food is cooked in the ground it grew from. Absolutely delicious. No food like it. Learned it from my pops, who learned it from his.”
“That’s a coincidence,” Mary May says. “Digging a hole just before we arrive. You wouldn’t be hiding anything in there, would you?”
“No coincidence when I wasn’t expecting you today. And it’s an annual ritual – ask anyone on the farm. Isn’t that right, Dahy?” Another bunch of logs and moss land on my body.
Ow.
“That’s right, boss,” Dahy says.
“You expect me to believe a Flawed?” The disgust at even being spoken to by one is clear in her voice.
There’s a long silence. I concentrate on my breathing. The sheet hasn’t been flattened on all sides, air creeps in, but not enough. This hiding place was a ridiculous idea, but it was my ridiculous idea. I’m regretting it now. I could have taken my chances hiding in the forest – maybe Mary May could have got lost in there forever too, the two of us hunting and hiding from each other for the rest of our lives.
I hear Mary May slowly walking round the pit, perhaps she can see my body shape, perhaps not. Perhaps she is about to pull it all off me and reveal me right now. I concentrate on my breathing, everything is too heavy on me, I wish they’d stop piling on the wood.
“That wood’s for burning, then?” she asks.
“Yes,” says Granddad.
“So set it on fire,” she says.
“What?” says Granddad.
“You heard me.”
On top of me is the white sheet. Above it, firewood and moss. Suddenly, something shifts and the sheet that has been rucked up, giving me space to breathe, collapses to my skin. I try to blow it away but I can’t move it. And now Mary May wants to set me on fire. She knows I’m here. I’m the mouse caught in the trap.
Granddad tries to talk her out of it. He wasn’t intending on lighting it quite yet. The food isn’t ready; it needs to be wrapped up. It will all take time. She tells him she has time. She tells Dahy to prepare the food, but she doesn’t care about the food: she is more intent on setting me alight. She tells Granddad to concentrate on the fire. She’s not asking him – she’s telling him. She knows there’s nobody on this farm to share the food other than a bunch of Flawed, and she has no respect for their plans.
It’s happening now.
I feel another bundle land on my legs. Granddad is taking his time, chatting, dilly-dallying, doing his old-man-persona trick.
“Put one there,” she says.
It lands on my chest.
I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I close my eyes, try to return to the yacht. My eighteenth birthday, the chocolate fondue, the music, the breeze, the person I should be, not the person I am. I try to go far away, but I can’t disappear. I’m here and now. The logs are heavy on my body; the air is close.
Mary May wants him to hurry. If I’m discovered, then Granddad will be punished too. I take deep breaths, not wanting my chest to visibly rise and fall beneath the sheet and logs.
“I have a lighter,” Mary May says.
Granddad laughs at that. A big hearty boom. “Well, that won’t do. My tools are in the barn. You stay here with Dahy, watch how he prepares the food. I’ll be back.”
It’s the way he says it. So untrustworthy, it’s obvious that he’s lying. He’s so clever. She thinks he’s trying to get away from her, that there’s something or someone in the barn that he needs to hide from her. He’s so insistent on her staying here with Dahy that, of course, her attention leaves the pit and she insists on going to the barn with him. Dahy can help me out of here, lift some of the wood off.
But of course she then contacts her fellow Whistleblowers and tells them to accompany Dahy, to help him gather all the Flawed workers and line them up at the cooking pit.
She’s going to burn me out for everyone to see.
As soon as I hear their footsteps die away and their voices fade, I try to come up for air. Terrified it’s a trick and that Mary May will be standing beside me with a swarm of Whistleblowers, I fight my way out from under the sheet and timber. It’s more difficult than I thought; it’s heavy – Granddad has really piled on the wood.
No longer concerned about the possible trap, I don’t want to suffocate, and so I use both legs to kick up. The timber goes flying. I do the same with my arms, pushing the wood up and out. Some of it lands on my legs and shins, and I gasp with pain. I pull the sheet away and feel the air on my face. I gulp it in hungrily. I climb out of my grave and run towards the woods. As soon as I’m at the edge of the farm that leads into blackness, and safety, I look back. The pit is a mess. If I leave it like that it will be obvious that Granddad hid me and led Mary May away for my escape. He will suffer for my carelessness. They’ll know I’m here and they’ll find me in seconds. I will have no hope escaping from so many Whistleblowers in this wood.
I hear Granddad’s and Mary May’s voices in the distance as they return from the barn. Granddad is speaking loudly, perhaps deliberately, to warn me.
I look to the pit and back to the woods to possible freedom. I have no choice.
I sprint back to the pit, fix the sheet and the strewn timber and moss as quickly and neatly as I can, hearing their footsteps, so close now. My heart thumps wildly; I feel the throbbing in my neck and head. It’s as though I’m moving in slow motion, like this is a nightmare that I can only hope to wake from. But it’s not. It’s happening for real. I see the flash of red of Mary May’s uniform, then I run again. I’ve barely entered the woods and hidden behind the first tree when they come fully into sight. I’m sure they’ve seen me. Terrified, I push my back flat against the trunk, heart pounding, chest heaving.
“I don’t see why you couldn’t just use my lighter,” Mary May says, irritated. She’s annoyed she didn’t find me in the barn.
Granddad laughs, mockingly, which I know will anger her further. “No, no. You’ve got to be authentic. This tradition is thousands of years old. It’s one thing you forcing me to do this before I’d intended to, but if I’m lighting it, I’m lighting it my way.”
He
