in my room.”
“There’s no place for me in your bedroom,” he interpreted. He gave a half smile. “I get the message, Danielle. I read it in your letter.”
She was shaken by the incredible bleakness of his tone. “I just meant…I don’t want any misunderstandings between us. At the end of your R and R, you’ll leave.”
He didn’t answer, only stared at her until she looked away. She decided she’d been mistaken about the emotion.
“I’ll show you where the sheets and blankets are.” She rushed down the hallway to the linen closet and wondered who or what she was running from.
Chapter Two
Kyle woke instantly, alert and still. He heard the noise again. The coffeemaker burped, then began a rhythmic gurgling as it heated up. The radio came on. He relaxed.
The announcer detailed the day’s weather. “Cloudy in the morning, perhaps some sun breaking through in the afternoon. Snow flurries again tonight. All roads are open at present. Schools will keep to a regular schedule until further notice.”
Listening to his wife’s quiet movements as she prepared breakfast, he faced the facts of his life. He was thirty-eight years old and he had blown the one perfect thing in his life. He would have to learn to live with that.
Some foolish part of him had hoped that Dani and Sara would rush to him last night and welcome him home. He pushed the thought down into the dark pool along with all his grief.
His own fault. Choices. Everyone made choices. Maybe his had been the wrong one….
He rose and pulled jeans and the blue shirt over his thermals, then padded down the hall to the bathroom. There was only one. He had discovered this after Dani and Sara had gone to bed.
He’d searched the whole house last night until he knew it like the back of his hand. In case of a nasty surprise by the kidnappers, he wanted to know every nook and cranny.
He had also chosen a room for himself across the hall from his wife and daughter. In the attic bedroom, he’d found a usable bed frame that he could move downstairs. The attic had been freezing, as Danielle had noted.
The old house could use a thick layer of insulation. And new windows, he added as the wind shook the panes and puffs of frigid air circulated around him. The foundation and framing were sturdy, but the place needed a major overhaul. It would cost a mint to hire the work done.
He had worked his way through college as a carpenter and was pretty good with his hands. But this wasn’t his house. It wouldn’t be his home. Danielle was right. He had left his family, no matter the reasons, and they no longer trusted him. He had no place in this house.
After a quick shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and proceeded to shave.
Sensing a presence, he looked at the door. It was ajar and a small face peered at him through the crack. He smiled and pushed the door open with his toe. “Sara. How’s it going with you this morning?”
She ran off as if he had growled at her.
The fist squeezed his heart again. If he’d been at home the past two years, would his kid be afraid of him even after her ordeal? He knew the answer was no.
From deep inside, the pool of emotion he hadn’t realized existed until he’d gotten that letter from Danielle shifted and churned bleakly. He finished shaving and went to the room where he’d stored his luggage.
Five minutes later he entered the kitchen. “Good morning,” he said softly.
His wife spun about, fear on her face, determination in the set of her mouth. He watched her take in everything about the situation—him, the distance between them, the threat of danger. She was as edgy as a startled cat.
“Relax,” he advised and pushed a smile on his face with an effort. “Okay if I have a cup of coffee?”
Danielle gestured with her left hand toward the pot. “Help yourself.”
Her right hand, behind her and hidden by an old flannel shirt that he recognized as another of his, dropped to her side. She flexed her fingers as if they were stiff.
“I’m making oatmeal,” she said, turning back to the stove. “Do you want some?”
“Please.”
She nodded without looking at him and busied herself toasting English muffins and stirring a pot. A longing to go over and bury his face against the side of her neck, to breathe her fragrance into his starved body, speared right through him, churning up the dark pool. Regret rose to the surface. He would never have that right again.
“Sara, breakfast,” she called.
He took a drink of coffee, studying his wife as she stood at the stove. The hot need that flooded his body took him by surprise. He fought the urge and conquered it. Control was important. It was all he’d had going for him many times in his life. It would get him through the present.
He had already accepted that his return wasn’t going to result in conjugal bliss, so he’d thought he had the hunger under wraps. His libido was showing him otherwise. He carried the cup to the table and took a seat. His jeans were tight and uncomfortable.
“So, Sara, are you in third grade yet?” he asked his daughter when she entered and perched on her stool in thick pajamas that covered her from neck to toes.
She looked startled. Her glance darted toward her mother, but Danielle was busy elsewhere. Sara shook her head, slowly at first, then more firmly.
“Well, you’re in first grade then,” he teased.
This time she was a bit more self-assertive. She shook her head immediately.
“Oh, of course, you’re still in Tiny Tots.” He nodded as if remembering. “I used to drop you off at Miss Engles’s on the days Mommy had to open the library early. We would have doughnuts for breakfast at the diner and keep it a secret because Mommy thought we should eat cereal.”
“Sara is in kindergarten,” Danielle interjected, bringing their bowls to the table. She frowned at him.
“Kindergarten?” he said as if amazed. “That old? You must be…” He pretended to search for an answer.
Finally Sara held up one hand, palm outward, fingers and thumb splayed. Relief eased the soreness inside. His daughter had responded to him.
“Five. That’s right.” He smiled in approval.
Sara stared at him with an unwavering gaze and no answering smile. Danielle served them without a word. She wasn’t going to make this easy for him.
“Eat up,” she said. “It’s almost time to go.”
She was speaking to Sara. He felt the chill of her rejection to his bones. Please let me know your thoughts on the divorce as soon as possible, her letter had read.
Always the polite librarian. But she was also his secret delight—his enchanting, passionate lover, the calm center of his being, all
