Loving Leah. Nikki Benjamin
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Leah could see how much he loved Gracie, yet she also sensed a puzzling restraint in him toward the little girl. Had the pain of losing Caro been so great that he was now afraid to let himself acknowledge his love for anyone else, including his own daughter? Leah hoped not. Gracie needed him, not at a benevolent distance, but up close and personal, with his deepest emotions fully and completely committed.
“All done here?”
John’s gruff, matter-of-fact voice startled Leah so much that she lost her grip on the flat of pink-and-white petunias she and Gracie had chosen from the rows on display at the nursery. Instinctively John reached around her with both arms and helped her catch it before it hit the ground. His muscular chest pressed against her back, his strong, broad hands covering hers, he stood for several exquisitely long moments, seeming to hold his breath just as she did.
Leah wanted to lean into him and savor the warmth of his body, wanted to tip back her head and smile up at him teasingly as she would have in the past. Instead, she stood as if frozen in place, her heart thudding slowly in her chest, waiting for whatever angry recrimination he would no doubt choose to hurtle her way.
“Aunt Leah, you almost dropped our petunias,” Gracie said, then added with a giggle, “Good thing Daddy was here.”
“A very good thing,” Leah agreed, sending the little girl a grateful smile.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” John said as he finally eased away from her.
“My fault for not paying attention.”
“Well, pay attention to this,” he said in an almost teasing tone that put Leah in mind of years past. “That is the last flat of flowers going on our tab today, unless one of you wants to walk home. The Jeep is now holding all the plants it can hold and still have room to spare for the three of us. Don’t forget we’re going to have to plant all that stuff, too.”
“I know, Daddy, and I’m gonna help. But we want to stop for burgers and fries first, don’t we, Aunt Leah?”
“Trying to take advantage of my good mood, huh?”
“You’re in a good mood today?” Leah couldn’t help but quip as they waited for John to pay for the plants they’d chosen.
John eyed her quizzically for several seconds, apparently giving her question serious consideration.
“Yes,” he admitted at last, a hint of surprise in his voice. “I am.”
“Must be something in the air,” she offered lightly.
“Or maybe the company I’m keeping.” He held her gaze an instant longer, then scooped Gracie into his arms. “Yeah, it has to be this lovely little girl’s company.”
“Oh, Daddy, you’re so funny sometimes.”
He had meant Gracie of course, Leah told herself as they piled into the Jeep and headed for her niece’s favorite fast-food restaurant. But that didn’t stop her heart from beating faster.
Back at the house again, there was a message waiting for John on the answering machine. A problem had come up at the university lab that required his immediate attention.
“So much for leaving the teaching assistants in charge,” he grumbled after explaining the situation to Leah and Gracie.
“No problem,” Leah told him cheerfully for Gracie’s sake. “The really hard work is all done. We shouldn’t have any trouble putting the plants we bought in the beds after we eat, right, sweetie?”
“Right, Aunt Leah,” the little girl agreed happily enough as she peeled the wrapper off her cheeseburger.
“Don’t try to move the heavier containers,” John instructed, already withdrawing from their company as he headed toward the hallway.
Leah had thought, obviously in error, that he didn’t really want to go to the lab.
“At least eat something first,” she urged, waving a hand at the burgers and fries she’d set out on the table.
“I have to take a shower,” he called over his shoulder. “I’ll eat on the way to the lab.”
He was back in the kitchen in fifteen minutes, wearing khaki pants and a black knit T-shirt, looking so handsome that Leah’s heart ached. Then he was out the door with his food in hand, leaving them with a wave. Leah felt a sense of regret as she heard the Jeep’s engine roar to life.
They had been making some fairly decent progress in the getting-to-know-each-other-again department. For the first time since she’d arrived there Sunday night, she’d felt reasonably relaxed in John’s presence, and he’d seemed reasonably relaxed in hers, as well.
Would he put up the wall of resistance between them when they were next together? she wondered. Would he revert to the man she’d come to dread the past couple of days?
Not if she had anything to say about it, she vowed as she dipped a French fry into ketchup, then munched on it contentedly.
“Why are you smiling, Aunt Leah?”
“I’m thinking about how much fun we had this morning, and how lovely the yard looks now. And I’m thinking that if we get everything planted by tomorrow afternoon, we could plan to have a picnic on Friday.”
“Oh, I love picnics!” Gracie said.
“Well, then, let’s clean up this mess and start putting our flowers in their beds.”
“Do you think my dad would like to go with us on the picnic?”
“Maybe,” Leah replied, careful not to get the little girl’s hopes up too high.
John has always loved going on picnics, too, and with luck, he would have the crisis at the lab under control by Friday. After the way he’d behaved today, she wanted to believe he’d make the effort to be with them again, for Gracie’s sake, if nothing else.
Having him along would be fun for her, too, Leah admitted as she and Gracie finished tidying the kitchen. He had definitely begun to mellow toward her. The more fun things she could plan for them to do together, the more likely he was to mellow even more. And that would be such a good thing…for all of them.
Chapter Four
John stood in front of the refrigerator with the door wide-open, the light from its interior the only light in the kitchen at one-thirty in the morning. Methodically he opened first one plastic container, then another as he tried to decide which of the various leftovers from the meals Leah had prepared appealed most to him. There’d been meat loaf Monday night, the spaghetti he’d already sampled Tuesday night, and tonight…ah, yes, this must be it—chicken in some kind of a cream sauce that included chunks of onion, carrot and mushrooms.
Too good to eat cold from the container, he decided, switching on the light over the stove. With a minimum of clatter, he found a plate to put in the microwave oven, transferred a