It had been four days since the accident, and now it wasn’t only Todd’s health worrying loved ones. Still swarming with wires and tubes, there had been no improvement in Todd’s condition but neither was there any deterioration. Sandy had refused to leave her fiancé’s bedside from the moment she’d been allowed to see him. She wouldn’t eat and barely slept. Occasionally slumber stole over her, trying to embrace her in its warm comfort but she fought against it with a powerful vengeance and, so far, she was winning.
Ben studied his sister as he placed yet another cup of coffee on the table beside her.
‘You really ought to try and eat something, sweetheart.’
‘I’m not hungry.
‘Even so.’
She didn’t look at him. She’d barely looked at anyone but her fiancé for days. Her total attention was focused on Todd, hoping for a glimmer of movement, the faintest of signs that he was still in there, and would be back with her soon. Ben took in the dark circles under Sandy’s eyes, the pale skin on her drawn and tired face, his guilt increasing as he did so.
I’ll look after him, he’d said. I promise. And now look where they were. Machines beeping all around, tubes in one place, out of another, while his own sister could only watch, and hope and pray – no expression on her face, no tone in her voice, her entire being centred on Todd.
The doctors had been unable to tell them how long he could be like this. He could wake up tomorrow or it could be weeks … or more. God forbid it was either of the latter, or Sandy herself wasn’t going to be in any fit state to see him.
‘Honey, please eat something. You’re going to make yourself ill.’
Sandy took the coffee cup and sipped at the hot liquid as Ben walked around to the other side of the bed and gazed down at Todd. Incredibly, all that showed externally from the fall was a broken wrist and a slight bruise on his temple.
‘See ya later, buddy,’ Ben said, closing a hand over his friend’s for a moment. Crossing back, he placed a gentle kiss on the top of Sandy’s hair, not that she noticed, then quietly closed the door on his way out.
‘Any news?’ Molly asked as soon as he entered the house.
He’d been staying at his parents since the accident as it was closer to the hospital. And maybe, if he truly admitted it to himself, because he didn’t want to be alone right now.
‘No change,’ Ben replied. He hung his coat on the rack and looked back at his mother. ‘What can I do, Mama? I feel like I should be able to do something!’
‘There’s nothing any of us can do but pray, sweetheart.’
‘But—’
‘Ben, it wasn’t your fault. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Todd was going to that rodeo with or without you. Thanks to you he’s getting the best medical treatment possible. All we can do now is wait. In the meantime, you can go wash your hands ready for supper.’
‘I’m not real—’
‘Ben, please! I already have one child who’s barely eating. Please don’t make me worry over you too.’ Molly gripped the cloth she was holding, her knuckles showing white, the worry over Todd and Sandy etched into her face. He turned at her raised voice, seeing the panic and fear his mother was trying so desperately to keep inside.
With Todd being the son of family friends, they’d all been overjoyed when his and Sandy’s friendship blossomed into something more serious. Whereas Ellie was their surrogate daughter, Todd was like another son and their joy at the news they were to gain him officially as their son-in-law had now been replaced by the fear that they might lose him altogether.
‘It’s OK, Mom,’ Ben whispered. ‘He’s going to be just fine.’ Molly issued a small sob that in turn released more. She began to shake under her son’s strong embrace. Gently, he led her to the chair and sat on the arm beside her. He didn’t really know what to say so he said nothing, and just held her.
‘They were so happy!’ Molly cried, ‘They had their whole lives ahead of them!’
‘And they still have! Nothing’s changed that. Todd is going to be just fine and they’re still going to get married and have seventeen kids and three dogs and then ask you to babysit!’
Molly smiled, fear in her eyes. ‘Do you really think so?’
‘Yeah, I really do,’ Ben answered honestly. There was no other choice than to believe it.
‘I’m so worried.’
‘I know.’
‘She won’t talk to anyone.’
‘I know. It’s just her way of dealing with it. She’s trying to be brave so we won’t worry.’
‘But she doesn’t have to be brave, Ben! She’s my baby girl! That’s what I’m here for!’
‘I know Mama, I know.’
*
Ben fiddled with the crystal stem of the wineglass, a thousand thoughts turning over in his mind. Through the window he could see his parents on the swing of the back porch, nestling against one another, exchanging fears and hopes in whispered voices. They’d asked him to join them but he’d declined, feeling that they should be able to say everything they wanted to to each other in private. As big as he was, and as old as he was, they’d still want to try and protect him – put him before themselves. But right now, they needed their own space and time as each of them tried to process the situation. Taking another sip, he set the glass back down on the table. He couldn’t remember a time he’d felt so helpless. Or so alone.
As he sat back up, a picture on the wall caught his eye. It had been taken years ago. God! How young they all looked, he thought, smiling at the memory. Suddenly it struck him …
‘The number you are calling …’ Ben debated whether to leave a message as the automated voice continued on. ‘Leave a message after the – Hello?’ A human voice interrupted the answer machine. ‘Hello?’ it said again when there was no reply.
‘Ellie?’
‘Who’s calling?’ She sounded wary.
‘Ellie? It’s Ben. Ben Danvers.’ The relief at hearing her voice was incredible. There was a slight pause.
‘What’s happened?’ Ben started from the beginning and explained that he’d thought perhaps if he could get her to call Sandy, she might open up a bit. If she was going to talk to anyone, it’d be Ellie. They’d supported each other from their early years and Ellie was the one person Sandy wouldn’t feel she had to be brave for. Her brother felt it had to be worth a shot.
‘Truth is, I really don’t know what else to try. You’re kind of my last hope. She’s just ignoring her phone mostly, but if she heard your ringtone … maybe …?’
‘Yes, of course. Is there anything else I can do?’
‘Hope and pray with the rest of us.’
