all at the same time,’ she says, ‘I have learned from experience that I work better and feel happier (both in general and about the work I’m doing) when I focus on one task at a time and give it my full attention. Especially the part about being a mum. If I am distracted with my kids, they can totally feel it and everything spirals from there in a negative way.’
Where to work from?
I’ve always been happy spending time alone, so for me it works to set myself up on the end of my dining-room table and type away with a view of the garden. Also, I found this easier to fit around my children’s naps. That said, there were a few months when my son wanted to sleep at the exact same time I had to drop my daughter at nursery, so I’d find myself waving goodbye to her then reclining the buggy and doing some vigorous jiggling until he dropped off. I’d park up by a bench – anywhere – and work on my phone: emails, writing, editing. It wasn’t ideal – mostly because there was no toilet. Or coffee. But going into a cafe was going to wake him from his sleep, so in order to best utilise this time, a bench it was.
I now work from home or my local coffee shop, which has fast and free wifi, excellent coffee and nice cheese toasties for lunch. I rack up a bill of around £12, which isn’t much considering on my work days I might be there from 9.30 a.m. until 3 p.m. Others prefer to use the local library, a shared workspace – some even come with a crèche (there’s a list of these at the end of the book) – or you might be able to make use of the crèche at your gym – half an hour on the running machine, followed by an hour and a half of work.
Something I’ve recently started doing is borrowing a friend’s house to work in. She and her boyfriend are out during the day, Monday–Friday, and they have a cat who likes company. It means I don’t have to commando-crawl out of the kitchen when my son comes home from the Toy Library with his childminder – if he sees me, he doesn’t want to be parted again – but I also don’t have to pay for coffee. This exchange could work well if you have a friend whose dog needs walking. Or perhaps you could spend your last hour cooking dinner for their return? Worth it, for a free workspace.
Lucy Mangan – Stylist columnist, Guardian writer, author – says that her greatest challenge as a freelancer is feeling she’s doing neither work nor motherhood properly. ‘I’d prefer to be doing one thing, as well as I can,’ she says. So attempting to work from home while her seven-year-old son is there can create tension. ‘Multitasking is not my thing,’ she says, ‘especially when I’m doing creative writing. I need long, uninterrupted stretches of time. And a quiet space. But as your child gets older, they become more demanding. They want to spend time with you. Of course they do. But this means I can’t just shut myself in my study, so now I’m working more outside of the home; in the library. I’ve also joined a private member’s club. It’s so lovely to be looked after – people bring you food that you haven’t had to cook, and coffee. It’s tax deductible so I pay £600 a year for my membership.’
Having somewhere to work outside of the home also removes you from a domestic setting, which can be distracting (laundry to be hung out, packages being delivered, etc.). ‘As a freelancer, you need to be more selfish than you feel comfortable with,’ says Lucy. ‘If I’m in the house, I feel all the domestic duties coming at me. But if I leave the house, they can’t intrude on my mental space.’ Of course, working outside of the home means you have less control over your surroundings – including noise. ‘Always carry headphones and white noise to block out irritating sounds,’ she advises. ‘It’s incredibly frustrating when you plan to work on the train for four hours and end up next to someone playing music loudly on their mobile. But white noise will drown them out. Or you can just ask them to be quiet.’
Dealing with isolation
While I’m generally OK with my own company, there were definitely times – particularly in the dead of winter – when my daughter was at nursery, and before my son was born, when the house felt incredibly quiet, and I longed for some human contact. Sometimes, I’d go to the shop just so that I could have a chat with someone. Or phone my sister. When my son was at home with the childminder, I had to vacate, so I’d work in public spaces, meaning I was surrounded by activity. I still go now, if I feel lonely. Although I don’t intend to meet up with anyone – I’m there to work – I’ve actually made friends at my local coffee shop with people who are also freelance, and there to work. So we’ll have a quick chat, or give each other some advice, then get our heads back down. Working in this way – surrounded by other people who are also tapping into their laptops – makes me forget how isolated I sometimes felt when I worked from home.
Sali Hughes – author, columnist for The Pool, Guardian and Empire, and event host – says that the social aspect of office work can be felt as a real loss when you go freelance. ‘Lots of women really struggle when they go freelance with the fact that they’re not in a team any more. They don’t have those water-cooler moments. You have to embrace social media, but know when to stop. Be able to manage the loss of the social aspect.’ She used to enjoy managing people in the workplace, as well as coming in and talking about what was on the telly. ‘But now I’ve got Twitter and Facebook for that,’ she says. ‘After my first baby, it was the isolation that made me go mad. I didn’t know anyone with a baby, so I was really lonely. But after my second baby, there was Facebook – then Twitter. So I had people to talk to. As a journalist, if you’re a freelancer, it’s very solitary. Twitter and Facebook are the office. They’re your colleagues; people you speak to in place of physical co-workers. But then you’re reliant on yourself to stop messing about and get on with work. I strongly advise freelancers to block the internet between certain hours, using software. And if you need bustle, go to a coffee shop.’
Pragya Agarwal – designer, entrepreneur, journalist, TEDx speaker and mum of three, including two-year-old twins – agrees that becoming part of an online community, and using social media for real social interaction, can help to combat the isolation. ‘Working from home can be lonely,’ she says, ‘and I have written extensively for Forbes about how to manage loneliness as a freelancer. There are times when I do not speak to any adult for days, and so it is really crucial for me to have a strong community online. But I also try to go to some networking events when possible.’ (If the idea of ‘networking’ makes you feel panicked, there are lots of tips for making it more bearable – and even fun – in Chapter 9.)
Say yes
At other stages in this book, I’ll talk about the importance of learning to say ‘no’, but when you’re starting up, the big word is YES. Yes, I’d like to tell you about my new freelance business. Yes, I’d like to have a coffee with your sister who’s an editor of a women’s magazine and might be interested in doing a feature on me. Yes, I’d like you to take some flyers and leave them at your work. Yes, I’d like you to wear one of my tote bags to the networking lunch you’re attending. Say yes, and watch where it leads … And if you think it might be a good opportunity, but you’re not sure how, respond as quickly as possible and say: I love the sound of this and it would be great to talk more about it. It’s a way of saying ‘yes’ without saying: let’s do it right this second. Sometimes, you’ll need time to think about what you want, or can (with childcare limitations) commit to. You can ensure that you don’t let opportunities slip away, without making an immediate commitment.
