letting them run the show or make your life a misery. The relationship should be constructed on the analogy that you too are no more than a guest in this world. If you accept the rules of the game without going to extremes, you will be free to choose from all that exists in this world.
Healthy relationships are as common as unhealthy relationships and there is a certain balance in the existence of both. Hate exists and so does love. A quality of a healthy balanced relationship is that it does not produce excess potential. Potential emerges when there is a noticeable bias in an assessment with regards to the nominal value. Evaluations are relative. On the scale of distortion, zero can be considered unconditional love. As you know, unconditional love does not support dependent relationships, nor does it create excess potential. This kind of love however, is extremely rare. Normally, possession, dependence and overvaluation are mixed into love’s vessel. It is difficult to resist feelings of possessiveness and quite natural that one should want to know that you have the person you love, as long as things do not go to one of two extremes.
The first extreme is the desire to possess the object of your love if that person is only vaguely associated with you and might not even suspect your desires (of course, you understand that I am not only talking about the physical aspect of possession). This is what happens in the classical case of unrequited love which always leads to much suffering. However, the mechanism at play here is not quite as simple as you might think. Remember the flower metaphor. You love to wander among the flowers, admiring their beauty and you may have wondered whether they love you too. Now try to imagine what the flowers think of you. All sorts of strange ideas will enter your mind such as fear, anxiety, dislike, indifference. You may wonder what reason the flowers could have to love you. Perhaps you desperately want to hold them in your hand but you cannot because they are growing in a flowerbed or are for sale but are very expensive. What one experiences at this stage is no longer love but dependency and with that, negative emotions begin to creep in.
So, you are in one place and the object of your love is in another and you would like to have the object of your love with you, i.e., you are creating energetic potential. One might think that excess potential would draw the desired object to you like air mass that shifts from an area of high to low pressure but that is not how things work at all. It makes no difference to balanced forces what method is used to re-establish equilibrium, and so they may place the object of your love at an either further distance from you thereby neutralizing the excess potential and breaking your heart at the same time. If, at the slightest sign of disappointment in love, person is inclined to dramatise the situation even more with thoughts that the person of their dreams does not love them they will be pulled towards life lines where reciprocated love is a rare phenomenon.
The stronger your desire to have something or to experience reciprocated love the stronger the action taken by balanced forces will be. Of course, if they choose a path that brings you and your loved one closer together then the story will have a happy ending. The direction balanced forces will ultimately take can easily be determined at the very outset. If you are preoccupied or obsessed with the need for your feelings to be mutual and yet nothing seems to be going right, you need to change your tactics. Try loving without expectation of reward. If you do this the unstable vibrations of balanced forces can be drawn closer and made to work for you; otherwise the situation may go snowballing out of control until it is practically impossible to change anything.
There is only one solution in a situation like this. If you want your love to be mutual you have to love simply without thought of whether you are loved or not. Firstly, in taking this approach you avoid creating excess potential which means that the fifty percent probability that the forces will work against you is avoided. Secondly, when you are not obsessed with the idea of whether your feelings will be reciprocated, you are free of the dramatic and uncontrolled thoughts about unrequited love that pull you into corresponding life lines. Quite the opposite; if you simply love, without thought of possession, dependency is avoided and the parameters of the energy you radiate will correspond with those life lines where requited love exits. If you have already discovered requited love then you have no reason to be concerned with the issue of ownership and possession. Imagine how greatly your chances of being close to the one you love will increase for having given up the notion of possessing them. Besides, unconditional love is very rare and attractive quality and so if you can embody it you will automatically draw people to you. Would you not be drawn towards a person who loved you simply for the sake of it without demanding anything in return?
The second extreme concerns the right to ownership, which is of course jealousy. In this case balanced forces have two potential means of action. If you are already in a relationship with the person you love then the first means of action is to being you even closer together. Some people enjoy an element of jealousy in their relationship. The other option is for balanced forces to destroy whatever gave rise to the jealousy, i.e. the love itself. In this case, the stronger the jealousy the deeper the grave it digs for the love being shared in the relationship. The dynamics of love which becomes expressed as jealousy are just the same as the shift from simply savouring the aroma of the wild flowers to wanting to produce perfume.
All of the above relates as much to women as it does to men, but this is not the final word on the matter. We will return to this question later when we look at the other concepts that underpin Transurfing. Everything is so simple and yet at the same time so complex; complex because a person in love loses their ability to rationalise and so the recommendations above will probably fall to the wayside. I shall not however, upset myself with these things because I resist the need for the reader’s recognition.
Contempt and Vanity
Judging other people is a very powerful way of destroying balance, particularly when we have contempt for them. On an energetic level there are no good or bad people; there are simply those who observe the laws of nature and those who unsettle nature’s ‘status quo’. The latter always eventually succumb to the power of balanced forces which strive to restore balance.
Of course, situations often arise in which a person deserves to be judged; the question is whether you should be the one to judge them. This is no superficial question. If someone injures you personally then they have probably also destroyed the existing balance. In this case, your judgement is less likely to represent a source of unhealthy excess potential than it is a tool for balanced forces striving to restore balance. If you say what you think and take any necessary reasonable measures the disturber of the peace will get what they deserve. If, however, the person you judge has done nothing specifically to hurt you, then it is not for you to make accusations.
Look at it from a purely practical point of view, it would be pointless to feel hatred towards a wolf you saw tearing a sheep to pieces on television. It is our natural sense of justice that impels us to judge others but what originates as an innate feeling can quickly turn into habit with many over the years turning into professional prosecutors. Most of the time you cannot know what caused a person to act the way they did, and who knows, if you had been in their shoes, maybe you would have done something even worse.
This kind of judgement creates excess potential in your energy field, which is hardly surprising, because we tend to believe that to the same extent that the accused is bad–we are the epitome of goodness. If the accused has horns and hooves then you must be an angel, right? Nonetheless, because we have not actually grown a pair of wings yet, the forces that strive to restore balance are called into play. Their action will be different depending on the situation but the result is essentially the same: you get a slap. Depending on the force and form of the judgement, the slap may range from being hardly noticeable to so hard that you are swiped into one of the worst possible life lines you can imagine.
It is easy to imagine the different forms that judgement takes and the consequences of it however for clarity I will cite a few examples.
Whatever happens in life, never scorn anyone. It is the most dangerous form of judgement because you find yourself in the shoes of the person you scorned. For balanced forces this would be the most simple, direct means of
