Tufti the Priestess. Live Stroll Through a Movie. Вадим Зеланд
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The moment you wake up and take control of your attention, the script will lose its hold on you. Of course, you have to go to work and attend classes as usual and fulfil your day to day obligations, but not as strictly as when you are directed by the script.
Unlike the other characters around you who are sleeping, you see yourself, you see reality and you can consciously control your will, which you haven’t been doing before now. This is your first step into a new level of self-mastery and mastering of your reality. You have woken up from ordinary sleep many times, but you have not yet tried reaching a higher level, right?
In an ordinary dream, you are helpless, even if you are aware that you are dreaming. You are inside a film and completely gripped by the story because your attention is immersed in the screen. But unlike the other characters, you are capable of dragging your attention up another level, i.e. waking up in the dream and even going two levels higher, and waking up in reality.
The characters in a dream can’t do this. How are they different to waking people? They have no self-awareness; they have no sense of personal identity; they have no personal will; they are not free to act as they see fit; they are subject to the script. They have no soul. They are simply templates – mannequins.
When you learn to wake up in the dream, try the following experiment. Ask a dream mannequin this question: “Who are you?” They will try and avoid the question or will tell you what their role in the script is. But they won’t say, “I am myself”. They don’t have their own ‘Self’.
In the same way, you could ask the mannequin, “Do you know that I am sleeping now and am seeing you in a dream?” This question will throw them, too, because they have never fallen asleep and never woken up. The dream mannequin lives in a film just like a fictional character, once shot on a film roll.
The only difference is that a normal film is shot by normal people, whereas the film rolls of dreams are stored in the Eternity archive. They have always been there and always will be, for as long as this Universe exists.
Living people have a soul, will, and self-perception. They can say, “I am myself”, although that is all they can say about themselves. Living people are aware of themselves, but their self-awareness, as you have seen for yourself, sleeps, and their will is used rarely, when they need to mobilise themselves to take some kind of action.
And what’s more, the will is used only within the context of the current frame, but we’ll talk about this a little later. I have already done you a great honour, spending so much time with you, my little fit-for-nothings. Make the most of this moment, admire me, praise me, flatter me – I am Tufti, your High Priestess!
Tracking Your Attention
And so, my dear ones, let’s repeat what we’ve covered so far.
• In your usual state of consciousness, you are characters in a film.
• If your attention is not your own, your soul is not your own.
• You are directed by an external script, which wires you into the film.
I use these terms so that it will be more accessible for you, because in sleeping and waking life, you do pretty much the same thing: you watch the film and take part in it as a character with a set role, without the right to spontaneous behaviour.
If you still doubt that your actions are bound rather than autonomous, look at your attention – where was it just now? To whom did it belong? Not to you, do you see? Then to whom and for what?
To the very same script. You, or rather, your Self is your attention. If you do not control yourself, the script directs you, whether when you are sleeping, or in waking life; it’s the same either way. A dream is the same as reality and reality is the same as a dream. Let’s say that life is a waking dream, and an ordinary dream is a sleeping dream.
A dream can be conscious or non-conscious. In the unconscious dream, you are as stupid and helpless as little bunnies. But take control of your attention, and you come alive in the film, acquiring the ability to act wilfully, as you see fit.
You become a responsible, sane character who can freely roam around in the dream. You have already tried it in waking life. With time, you will learn to do the same in your sleep.
However, it is much more important to have this ability in waking life because even though the film of sleep has a real film roll in the Eternity archive, it is still virtual. Life, on the other hand, is real. In life, you either helplessly kick your legs about in someone else’s script or you implement your own.
The only thing stopping you from doing this is your habit of falling into the inner and outer screen. Your attention won’t stay long in the centre of awareness. This is quite normal for you. But what can you do, ugly fit-for-nothings that you are. You need to develop the new habit of returning your attention to the centre.
Setting out for a stroll through the dream, tell yourself that you won’t forget that you must wake up. Literally set yourself this goal, otherwise it will completely slip your mind that you are meant to be focusing on something. If you are lazy and forgetful, you won’t learn anything.
Whilst on your walk, you will need to catch yourself as you constantly fall and drift off. Don’t worry, don’t give up, just bring your attention back, over and over again. Arrange to track your attention with your attention itself – that is, yourself.
There is no need to try and hold your attention at the centre all the time without taking a break. The meaning and value of this exercise lie in something else: your ability to respond to what is happening. Usually, any event, even the most inconsequential, draws you into the outer film or into your inner concerns. Whatever the situation, it lulls you into sleep.
Now you need to develop the reverse habit – not to fall asleep but to wake up. Any event, even the slightest whiff of your environment should put you on your guard. Take it as a signal to awaken. Likewise, any action you take should remind you that you need to check your focus of attention.
You have two triggers for this.
Outer – as soon as something happens, you wake up.
And inner – before you do something, you wake up.
Examples of external triggers: you met with someone, someone asked you something, something happened close to you, it doesn’t matter what, some kind of sound, any kind of movement, anything that previously attracted and engaged you. As soon as something happens, focus your attention on it, but don’t lose control of your attention – keep it at the centre.
Examples of internal triggers: you’re getting ready to go somewhere, to do something, to talk to someone. Before you take any action at all, bring your attention to the centre. Specifically before, because afterwards it will be too late; you will simply discover that you fell asleep, then woke up to remember that you were sleeping.
All this can only be learned through frequent repetition like in the martial arts. There is no other way. On the other hand, when you learn to control the focus of your attention, you will be able to control your piffling life. And then, perhaps, your life will stop being so piffling.
For now, I give you a warning. You have woken up in a dream, acquired strength and awareness, while those around you continue to sleep. Do not think this advantage makes you superior. Don’t