neighbor with apartment renovation, a colleague with writing a master’s thesis, or a former classmate in her fight against depression. He might also be asked for “help” in the sexual sphere, and it’s hard to say if he will be able to say no. He needs smiles and thanks, not tears and curses! So he might “give help” to everyone around until he runs into problems, and one day ask himself with sincere surprise, “Why do both my wife and lover hate me”?
But this is an extreme case.
Most often, the Spectator remains faithful and values his marriage.
It is difficult for him to meet and become intimate with a woman and even more difficult to leave her.
He is shy, vulnerable, and subject to stress. He constantly needs your support and praise!
If he is confident that you love him, the return can be amazing. He will do anything for you – work tirelessly, patiently listen to your complaints and fulfill your desires. The main thing that he needs for success is a reliable partner, as he is afraid of failure.
Demonstrate that you believe in him. But first, believe in him.
Chapter 3: What role type is your man?
Let us get back to the question posed at the end of the first chapter: how to understand what role type your man is.
To find the answer, the first thing you need to do is to observe and analyze.
How does your man behave on the street, in public transport, at a restaurant, with his friends, with strangers, and with your parents?
Does he talk much or prefer to listen to others?
Does he laugh loudly and openly, or smile slightly?
Is he an active or a passive person?
Does he prefer mental or physical work?
What does he do more often, execute commands or give commands?
Is he accurate, punctual, reliable, serious, witty, polite, and tidy – or is it the other way around?
A portrait is composed of many pieces. It will likely take a long time to collect them all. One evening is not enough to understand what kind of a person your man is.
Today, the man can talk endlessly, but tomorrow will stay silent all day long. Or, he may behave calmly for a week, and then suddenly become enraged for no good reason. Or, he will work tirelessly, then slouch about with his hands in his pockets. One date he may shower you with compliments, then the next day be childish and rude like a teenager.
Do you understand what drives him? Can you guess what he feels? Are you able to predict his behavior at least remotely?
Watch him for as long as possible before trying to answer the question as to what role type he is. The more accurate the answer, the easier it is to build the relationship!
Let us recall who is who:
– the Scriptwriter ponders everything in the world and creates something useful;
– the Director controls people and manages various processes;
– the Actor shows himself off and longs for recognition;
– the Spectator feels for and helps others, not demanding anything in return.
However, not everyone fits perfectly into one role type. It happens sometimes that one personality may seem to be a combination of two.
For example, the same man can be tough, controlling and faultfinding at work, like the Director, but sensitive and caring at home, which is characteristic of the Spectator.
Or he can be vociferous, friendly and joyful at a party, like the Actor, but thoughtful and logical on the computer, like the Scriptwriter.
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