crazy and you’ll get hit for sure. But an elevator?”
“I know.” Barbara hardly knew what else to say. And offering comfort had never been one of her strengths. Shit happens was her basic philosophy. But still, her heart ached for the woman. Barbara asked if there was anyone in the city she should call. Sandy said if Paula had been seeing anyone, she and her husband didn’t know anything about it.
“We haven’t heard from her for weeks,” Sandy said, and Barbara could hear her crying. “She might … we said some things …”
Barbara waited.
“Paula’s been sorting out who she is,” Sandy said quietly. “If you know what I mean. It’s been hard for me and Ken to … to accept.”
Barbara remembered Paula mentioning once, during her internship, about going to the Cubbyhole, a well-known lesbian bar, one weekend. She’d made no effort to hide her sexual identity, so Barbara had an idea what Sandy might be hinting at. Maybe it was Paula’s parents who’d been sorting out who she was, more than Paula herself.
“Sure,” Barbara said. “I understand.”
Paula’s father, Ken, got on the line.
“I’ve never driven into Manhattan,” he said. “What’s the best route?”
His voice was all seriousness, as if focusing in on travel arrangements could push the image of his injured daughter out of his head.
“I’m really not the best one to ask. I don’t have a car. I don’t even have a driver’s license.”
“Are there tolls?” he asked. “Will I need lots of change? Is there parking at the hospital?” He said they were going to leave within the hour.
Barbara suggested they consider a train. Or better yet, there was probably a flight they could take from Burlington.
Ken said catching a plane made sense, and that he’d look into that as soon as he got off the phone. Barbara promised to call back if she learned anything, and gave Paula’s parents numbers for the hospital, as well as for her own cell. In turn, Ken gave Barbara their cell number so she could update them, if there was news, as they were en route.
Once the call was over, Barbara felt emotionally wrung out. Paula’s mother was on to something when she’d said the last thing you worried about when your child went to the big city was an elevator accident. A million other perils came to mind before something like that. Hit-and-run, botulism, alien abduction would all be higher up on the list. How many elevator mishaps did New York have in a year? One? Two, maybe?
Barbara went looking for a coffee, although what she needed was something much stronger. She came back to the ER, asked the woman at admitting how Paula was doing and whether she’d been moved to a room.
The woman, eyes focused on a computer screen, said she would check when she had a chance.
“I’ve got a number for her parents,” Barbara offered.
The woman kept staring at the screen and tapping away at the keyboard.
Fuck it, Barbara thought.
She wandered into the curtained warren of the emergency ward, peeking into the various examining areas to see whether she could find Paula.
It didn’t take long.
Paula lay in a bed, connected to various wires and tubes and machines, including a beeping heart monitor. The woman’s face was mottled with blue and purple bruises, and her body had been immobilized. Barbara assumed she’d have suffered multiple fractures. If she’d been standing when that elevator hit bottom, the shock wave would have run straight up her entire body, shattering bones, particularly those in her legs, compressing her insides. It would be like jumping off a building.
God, what must it be like to be in a plunging elevator? Barbara wondered. Knowing what’s coming? Knowing there’s nothing you can do about it?
Barbara hoped a doctor or nurse would appear so she could get an update on her condition. If they asked if she was family, she’d tell them she was Paula’s aunt or a much older sister.
As she took another step closer to the bed, it occurred to Barbara that Paula was pretty close in age to her own daughter, Arla. Paula was in her early twenties, Arla would be twenty-five on her next birthday, Barbara thought.
I should call her.
Paula stirred slightly, her head shifting slightly on the pillow.
“Hey,” Barbara said softly.
Paula’s eyes did not open.
“Don’t know if you can hear me or not, but it’s Barbara. Barbara Matheson, from Manhattan Today. From your internship?”
Nothing.
Paula’s right eye opened a fraction of an inch, then closed.
“I’ve called your folks,” she said. “In Montpelier. Hope that was okay. Figured you’d want them to know. They’re coming.”
Paula’s lips parted, closed, parted again.
“You want to say something?” Barbara asked.
Her lips opened again. Paula’s tongue moved slightly.
“Don’t push yourself. It’s okay. Save your strength.”
But then a word, light and as soft as a feather, drifted from Paula’s mouth.
“What was that?” Barbara said, turning her head sideways, placing her ear an inch from Paula’s lips.
She whispered the word again, just loud enough for Barbara to hear.
“Floating.”
“Floating?” Barbara said.
“Like floating.”
Barbara pulled away, nodding. “I’ll bet,” she said. “You were basically in freefall. You’d have felt weightless, and—”
The heart monitor went from a beep to a sustained, alarming tone.
“What the—”
Barbara looked at the machine, saw the flat line travel across the screen.
“Oh, shit,” she said.
She threw back the curtain and called out: “Hey! Hey! I need help here!”
From the far end of the ward, a nurse came running.
Later, when it was over, and Barbara had made the call to Paula’s parents to tell them that there was no longer a sense of urgency, she found her way to a bar over on Third north of Fiftieth and ordered a scotch, neat.
She was on her fourth when it occurred to her that maybe “floating” was not a reference to plummeting in the elevator. Now Barbara wondered whether Paula was being
