Grace. Kayleigh is taking him home, and I told her I was going to see an old friend. That’s true, isn’t it? We are old friends, aren’t we?’ He moved towards her and she bristled. ‘I thought you might like some company,’ he leered. ‘And I don’t mind slipping you one for old times’ sake.’
‘You’re drunk, Nathan. Please go home. Kayleigh will be waiting for you.’ She sighed, putting down the golf club; it offered her no protection against him.
‘Haven’t you missed me then?’
She laughed. It was a dangerous move, but she couldn’t help it. ‘Missed you? The man who made my life hell? No I really haven’t.’
He smiled and sat on the desk, before grabbing her by the hips and pulling her to him until she was standing between his legs. Moving his hands to her behind, he pressed her body into his groin until she could feel how hard he was. He smelled good, of soap and expensive aftershave. The heat from his hands penetrated the thin fabric of her skirt. She used to love those hands, the feel of them on her skin, in her hair, on the small of her back. Hands that once knew her so intimately.
Looking into his eyes, she saw they were glassy from the whisky he’d been drinking, and who knew what else. But it seemed like they could still bore right into the deepest part of her. There was a time she truly believed that he could read her mind. So much so, it made her unable to look him in the eye towards the end of their marriage, for fear he would discover some truth she didn’t want him to know. But not anymore. She stared at him, confident in the knowledge that he would never know, not unless she wanted him to at least. He would never believe his naive little Grace could be capable of such things. What if she told him though? The look on his face. That would be something worth seeing.
What would have happened if things had been different? Could she have saved him? Would they have had a home full of children? Retired to the country and lived in a big old house, and kept chickens and horses? She smiled fleetingly at that thought before she was pulled sharply back to reality as Nathan tried to kiss her, the smell of whisky on his breath invoking so many contrasting memories. Pushing him away, she managed to wriggle from his grip.
‘This is not the welcome I was expecting from you, Grace. I’m disappointed in you. And you know I don’t like to be disappointed,’ he said, the cold edge creeping into his voice.
It was a threat and she knew it; but maybe she’d forgotten what it felt like to be hurt by him. After all, there was nothing he could do to her that he hadn’t already done. So, rather than giving in to him like the old Grace would, she replied with a threat of her own.
‘Aren’t you on licence now, Nathan? Doesn’t that mean you have to behave yourself or you can be carted back off to prison to serve the rest of your sentence? I’m sure a phone call to your probation officer about you beating up your ex-wife would justify hauling you back there pretty quickly, wouldn’t it?’
The change in him was instant, his handsome face distorted with rage. He took hold of her face with his hand, his fingers squeezing her cheeks. ‘You are playing a dangerous fucking game,’ he spat. ‘Be careful, Grace.’
And then he was gone.
She sat in the chair before her legs gave way beneath her. How had she once loved that man with every fibre of her being?
But that was a lifetime ago. Grace Sumner was no longer the naive little girl who’d fallen in love with the man of her dreams. She was a woman with a past of her own. Nathan thought he knew her. He had no idea.
Replaying the events of the previous night over and over in her head, Grace pondered what a fool she’d been thinking Nathan might have changed. He’d made Grace’s life hell for the first couple of years he’d been in prison. First it was the constant phone calls, then there were the visits. Always someone sitting at the end of the bar glaring at her, watching her every move. Always someone to deliver a message that she’d better watch her back, because apparently, the only thing that kept her safe was being Mrs Conlon. What a laugh!
John Brennan was okay, though. She’d met him once before when he’d come to their flat one night when Nathan had almost died from an overdose of ketamine. He used to call in on his way home, go through the motions and reiterate the same tired threat. Then Grace would pull him a pint and make him a sandwich.
‘Can’t you just put up with being his missus, Grace?’ he’d ask her. ‘Isn’t it easier than all this?’
‘No, John. It’s not,’ she’d tell him.
It was a price worth paying for her freedom. After all, she’d endured much worse than the occasional threat and menacing glare.
Then one day it all stopped. No more threatening phone calls. No more visits from his henchmen to try and scare her. He’d signed the divorce papers she’d sent him and, except for the occasional phone call when he felt lonely, he’d left her in relative peace.
Then shortly before Jake’s sixteenth birthday, she asked him what he’d like for a present, thinking he’d ask for a new computer or some sort of gadget. Her head had almost popped off her shoulders when Jake had revealed that what he wanted more than anything was to visit his dad in prison. She couldn’t have been more shocked if he’d asked for a trip to the moon.
Of course, she’d told him no. It was then that Jake revealed he’d been in almost daily phone contact with his father for nearly two years. How had she not noticed? How had Jake been able to lie to her all that time? He said he was sorry, that he hadn’t wanted to hide it from her, but he knew she’d go crazy and try to put a stop to it. And how could Grace argue with that? He was right.
Grace had always tried to prevent Jake from discovering the full extent of Nathan’s violent temper. He’d been so young when Nathan had been sent to prison and, given Nathan’s propensity to remain on the missing list for a lot of the time, the two of them had never developed a close bond.
After Nathan had been sent to prison, Grace had never told Jake much about him. She thought the less he knew, the better. She certainly didn’t want him to know what a monster his father truly was. In hindsight, she realized that pretending Nathan never existed was a huge mistake. With no other information to go on, Nathan became some enigmatic, mythical figure in Jake’s mind. By the time Grace learned of their contact, Nathan had cemented himself in Jake’s life as the most incredible father in the world; a legend, who was only doing time because he was trying to provide for his family.
Despite having to endure a year of Jake’s moody teenage stroppiness and his constant declarations that his father was a changed man, Grace would never agree to let him visit Nathan in prison. She confiscated his mobile phone, but Nathan procured him another one and then another. Jake told her there was nothing she could do to prevent him from contacting his dad, and as much as that aggravated and, if she was honest, scared the hell out of her, she knew he was right. So, in the end she’d relented. She realized that he’d only keep speaking with Nathan in secret and if she at least pretended to accept their communication he could be open with her about it. She thought that would allow her at least some insight into their relationship, and thereby give her some modicum of control.
For Nathan’s part, he seemed to adore Jake and appeared to have accepted that he and Grace were long over. According to Jake, he only ever asked if Grace was doing okay and nothing more.
