Vowing he’d have them sent on board the gallies;Just as he made his vow; it ‘gan to rain,
Therefore he call’d a coach, and bade it drive amain.
XXVI.
“I’ll pull the string,” said he, and further said,
“Polluted Jarvey! Ah, thou filthy hack!
Whose springs of life are all dry’d up and dead,
Whose linsey-woolsey lining hangs all slack,
Whose rug is straw, whose wholeness is a crack;
And evermore thy steps go clatter-clitter;
Whose glass once up can never be got back,
Who prov’st, with jolting arguments and bitter,
That ’tis of modern use to travel in a litter.
XXVII.
“Thou inconvenience! thou hungry crop
For all corn! thou snail-creeper to and fro,
Who while thou goest ever seem’st to stop,
And fiddle-faddle standest while you go;
I’ the morning, freighted with a weight of woe,
Unto some lazar-house thou journeyest,
And in the evening tak’st a double row
Of dowdies, for some dance or party drest,
Besides the goods meanwhile thou movest east and west.
XXVIII.
“By thy ungallant bearing and sad mien,
An inch appears the utmost thou couldst budge;
Yet at the slightest nod, or hint, or sign,
Round to the curb-stone patient dost thou trudge,
School’d in a beckon, learned in a nudge,
A dull-ey’d Argus watching for a fare;
Quiet and plodding, thou dost bear no grudge
To whisking Tilburies, or Phaetons rare,
Curricles, or Mail-coaches, swift beyond compare.”
XXIX.
Philosophizing thus, he pull’d the check,
And bade the Coachman wheel to such a street,
Who, turning much his body, more his neck,
Louted full low, and hoarsely did him greet:
“Certes, Monsieur were best take to his feet,
Seeing his servant can no further drive
For press of coaches, that tonight here meet,
Many as bees about a straw-capp’d hive,
When first for April honey into faint flowers they dive.”
XXX.
Eban then paid his fare, and tiptoe went
To Hum’s hotel; and, as he on did pass
With head inclin’d, each dusky lineament
Show’d in the pearl-pav’d street, as in a glass;
His purple vest, that ever peeping was
Rich from the fluttering crimson of his cloak,
His silvery trowsers, and his silken sash
Tied in a burnish’d knot, their semblance took
Upon the mirror’d walls, wherever he might look.
XXXI.
He smil’d at self, and, smiling, show’d his teeth,
And seeing his white teeth, he smil’d the more;
Lifted his eyebrows, spurn’d the path beneath,
Show’d teeth again, and smil’d as heretofore,
Until he knock’d at the magician’s door;
Where, till the porter answer’d, might be seen,
In the clear panel more he could adore,
His turban wreath’d of gold, and white, and green,
Mustachios, ear-ring, nose-ring, and his sabre keen.
XXXII.
“Does not your master give a rout tonight?”
Quoth the dark page. “Oh, no!” return’d the Swiss,
“Next door but one to us, upon the right,
The Magazin des Modes now open is
Against the Emperor’s wedding; and, sir, this
My master finds a monstrous horrid bore;
As he retir’d, an hour ago I wis,
With his best beard and brimstone, to explore
And cast a quiet figure in his second floor.
XXXIII.
“Gad! he’s oblig’d to stick to business!
For chalk, I hear, stands at a pretty price;
And as for aqua vitae there’s a mess!
The dentes sapientiae of mice,
Our barber tells me too, are on the rise,
Tinder’s a lighter article, nitre pure
Goes off like lightning, grains of Paradise
At an enormous figure! stars not sure!
Zodiac will not move without a slight douceur!
XXXIV.
“Venus won’t stir a peg without a fee,
And master is too partial, entre nous,
To” “Hush, hush!” cried Eban, “sure that is he
Coming down stairs, by St. Bartholomew!
As backwards as he can, is’t something new?
Or is’t his custom, in the name of fun?”
